Woman, 23, whose parents tried to force her into an arranged marriage with her COUSIN reveals she signed up to join the NAVY in desperate bid to escape – before being cast out for ‘disgracing’ her mom and dad

A young woman who immigrated to the United States from Pakistan as a child freed herself from an impending arranged marriage by enlisting in the military.

Hamna Zafar, 23, spent most of her young life in Maryland after her family left Pakistan when she was nine years old.

Although she had a strict upbringing – with little freedom to pursue extracurricular activities or friendships – Hamna never really realized how traditionally their parents still thought.

“I just expected my family to get used to the culture in the United States,” she said People.

“When I was growing up, they never really talked about arranged marriages.”

That assumption unfortunately made the series of events at the beginning of Hamna's young adulthood, beginning at the age of 19, all the more shocking and painful.

Since moving to the U.S., her family had traveled back to Pakistan often to see relatives — and Hamna figured a vacation during her freshman year of college would be no different than previous trips back to their home country.

But she discovered that not only was she engaged to her cousin, but she would also be attending her own engagement party on the second day of the visit.

“I thought it was a normal family trip to Pakistan,” she explained to People.

“Then I saw the jewelry, the dresses… I was just in my 20s and they wanted to make sure I knew I was engaged and that I wouldn't be eyeing any other guys.”

What's worse, she had grown up with the cousin and viewed him as a brother, according to a story about Hamna's background in the U.S. Air Force. website.

Disturbingly, the same cousin seemed happy about the forced arrangement during their engagement party, People further reported, while Hamna recalled feeling on a high.

“I tried to take that pill…I tried to understand what was really happening to me,” she said.

Back in the US, where she remained completely financially dependent on her parents, she began frantically texting her new college friends for help.

Someone's suggestion that she join the military stood out – and soon she personally reached a Navy recruiter's office.

“I had to move or do something because if I wait, I will be sent back to Pakistan to marry my cousin,” Hamna recalled telling the recruiter.

“The recruiter said, 'Okay, we'll start your paperwork as soon as possible!'”

Not long after, the events of a harrowing evening led to the end of Hamna's life as she knew it.

She had had to go through a necessary in-person step of the Navy recruitment process, with the recruiter personally driving her there and back to her home.

But Hamna was caught when her mother sneaked into her house at 9 p.m., well after curfew. Furious, she grabbed her daughter's phone and discovered her secret plan to join the Navy.

“She found everything,” Hamna said in the story on the Air Force website.

'That night she threatened to send me back to Pakistan and tell my father everything. I knew she meant it, and I knew that if I went back to Pakistan, I would never be allowed back to the United States.”

Backing into a corner, Hamna called her recruiter again. “I said, 'We have to do something because I'm about to be sent back to Pakistan and I can't come back,'” she recalled.

That same night, she snuck out of her family's home, never to return.

At the start of COVD-19, she crashed in a hotel, paid for with the rest of her scholarships.

“I wondered if I had made a mistake,” she reflected. “The pandemic happened, I was alone, and I kept wondering if I should go back home and get married like my family wanted. I didn't agree with it, and I didn't want to, but I felt lost.'

Meanwhile, her family remained too furious with her to effect even a modicum of reconciliation.

The consequences of her actions were all the more terrifying given that honor killings have historically been tolerated in traditional Pakistani culture.

“My cousins ​​have said horrible things to me, but I know they would never hurt me,” Hamna explained.

'I heard of women being killed because they were a disgrace and it was seen as normal. Things have changed a bit, but at the same time in Pakistan it is normal to punish women if they bring shame to the family.

“My own mother told me she wished I would burn in hellfire.

'My father wanted nothing to do with me and my cousin was furious that I didn't go through with the marriage. I needed support and I didn't have it.'

But one of her college friends, Austin, ultimately proved to be her saving grace when she told his parents, Oscar Abarca and Claudia Barrera, about Hamna's situation.

Soon, the Barrera-Abarca family contacted Hamna and offered to take her in.

“(Claudia) took me back to their house and asked me what happened,” Hamna said.

“I told her all about the engagement, the arranged marriage to my cousin and then joining the Navy to escape. She told me I could live with them as long as I wanted, do whatever it took to get my degree, and that I didn't have to be there if I wasn't ready.”

Now that she has a safety net thanks to family, Hamna chose to defer joining the military while she earns her associate degree. She also ultimately decided that the Air Force would be a better fit for her than the Navy.

In 2022, Claudia, who now calls Hamna 'mom', and Oscar drop her off at training camp.

At just five feet tall, Hamna initially found the boot camp grueling but rose to the challenge.

“You have to control your mindset because your mind is always stronger than your body,” she told People.

A year later, her original family declined her invitation to her Air Force graduation, but the Barrera-Abarcas showed up for her.

Hamna now works as a pilot at Kirtland Air Force Base near Albuquerque, New Mexico.

“She's so small and humble that you can't help but want to protect her,” Claudia told People of her unofficially adopted daughter.

“When we dropped her off at basic training, she looked so small, and I started crying. (My husband) said, 'She's small, but she's strong.'”