Woman, 23, who was sexually abused by her own FATHER for years – after he was freed from jail EARLY despite molesting young girls – reveals how trauma of his grooming forced her to develop EIGHT personalities in an attempt to keep herself ‘safe’
A woman has detailed the horrific sexual and physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her own father, which began when she was five and only ended when he killed himself just days before her 15th birthday.
Appear on the We are all insane podcast23-year-old Sammy said she developed a dissociative disorder with eight alternate personalities living together in a ‘system’ as a result of her traumatic upbringing.
“I was five to six (when the abuse started),” Sammy explained to host Devorah Roloff. ‘It was that intense, immediate and repetitive trauma that really caused that dissociative disorder system to develop.’
Sammy said the abuse began in 2005, after her biological father – who taught music – was accused of molesting two of his female students, and the family then moved from New York to South Carolina.
Sammy appeared on the We’re All Insane podcast to talk about her traumatic childhood, where she suffered horrific sexual and physical abuse from her own father
Sammy told host Devorah Roloff (pictured) the abuse began when she was as young as five years old, and continued for about a decade after that
“(We were told we were going to) move because my grandfather needed to be in warmer weather,” she recalled. (But) there was definitely a time in our lives where our parents tried to cover it up.’
Sammy’s family – consisting of herself, her parents, younger brother and older half-sister – moved in 2005, despite her father still being involved in active trials over the accusations of the girls he molested in New York.
He was convicted of second-degree sexual assault in 2010, but was released early on good behavior after serving what Sammy believes was about eight months in prison.
When he returned home in 2011, she claims the abuse ‘spiked’.
“When I was younger — probably like the age of five to seven — I was molested probably once every two weeks (and) after he got out of prison in 2011, I was molested several times a week,” she told Devorah said. “I actually got my period when I was 11, it just increased the contact he needed to have with me.”
Sammy said her father would also constantly pit her and her older half-sister – her mother’s daughter – against each other, and recalled growing up ‘hating’ her sister, only to later realize she was being abused too.
“(My sister) was one of the only victims who came forward and said it definitely happened to me (and) it sucks,” Sammy recalled. “They were so strong about it and it threatened my mother’s reality of what happened and who her husband was.”
She added that it was also ‘vital’ for her father’s care system to make sure they were kept apart so they could not reveal the abuse to each other.
The now 23-year-old has no contact with her mother and has not spoken to her in two years
The gruesome sexual abuse survivor recalled some of the tactics her father would use to care for her, such as pitting her against her older sister and threatening to commit suicide
Sammy detailed other psychological parts of her father’s abuse, saying he was with her for her entire childhood so he could ‘mould’ her into exactly what he wanted her to be.
She recalled that he showered with her, shaved her and tried to convince her to take nude photos of herself.
The 23-year-old also detailed co-dependent relationships with friends, who later became one of her father’s next victims.
When a friend came to Sammy and told her what happened, she admits she thought her friend was lying at first.
“I’m like ‘how could this have happened?’ But I felt really threatened,” she admitted. “I wasn’t angry that he was molesting her, I’m saying I was angry that he was molesting someone else.”
Another tactic Sammy’s father used to undermine her was by threatening to kill himself – something she said he did consistently growing up to control his victims.
“(He would say) ‘I’m so close to killing myself’ (and) I would let him molest me because it would give him a few more days,” she recalled.
The abuse peaked in early 2014, with Sammy abused ‘morning, noon and night’ by her father, recalling missing 92 out of 180 days of school to stay at his house.
Sammy stressed the importance of getting help when you need it, and trusting your instincts
She even claims that her own mother witnessed the abuse but chose to ignore it.
“There were times my mother walked in on him and molested me in their bed,” she said. “He would (have) his hand in my pants or my shirt – my mom would just walk into it and go right past the bed to the bathroom.”
However, after her friend began to distance herself from her family when she was around 14, she believes her father knew he was going to be caught.
“My dad’s caseworker (as an offender) reached out and was like you still have an accusation on your case,” she recalls. “At that point, my dad would have been in prison for life because being a repeat offender as a sex offender doubles your charge.”
Sammy said she spoke to the Department of Social Services for the first time in 2014, despite living with a convicted sex offender, and said Adelaide – one of her dominant personalities – had ‘taken over’ and admitted that she was molested by her father.
In the months that followed, Sammy said both parents accused her of lying, and the stress caused a different personality to form.
On April 1, 2014, the police came to Sammy’s house to arrest her father after months of threatening suicide, only to find him not in the house.
They later found him dead in the space he used as an office.
Sammy described the next few years at school as ‘intense’, as he defended her father’s memory.
However, when she attempted suicide at 17, it triggered her dissociative disorder system, which involved multiple personalities to help her cope with the waves of trauma she constantly faced.
Sammy explained that Adelaide, currently ‘fronting’ her personalities, is the protector of the dissociative disorder system.
“That means they are the trauma container, they take on the trauma to keep the host of the system safe,” she explained.
Another personality was Tristan, who developed when she graduated high school, who described him as “a lot.” very much a protector’ in her system.
When Sammy was 21, she chose to leave home and no longer speak to her mother.
“I don’t talk to my mother anymore because to this day if I go to her and say your husband is molesting me, she will tell me I’m lying,” she claimed.
Sammy stressed the importance of getting help when you need it, and trusting your instincts.