Cardiac arrest, four blood transfusions and stomach ulcers so deadly she vomited black liquid blood into the toilet – this is how years of binge drinking haunted Kirsten McKenzie when she was in hospital just a few weeks ago.
Kirsten, an aged care worker in her mid-30s, was told by doctors that if she had not gone to A&E she would have died the next day.
The symptoms of her ruptured ulcer were so bad she went into cardiac arrest in the back of the ambulance, and within 20 minutes of arriving at Prince of Wales Hospital in Sydney last month she underwent a life-saving blood transfusion.
“I thought I was going to die,” says Kirsten. “I was absolutely terrified.”
After five days of treatment – more blood transfusions and medication to heal her ulcers – Kirsten was discharged.
I’d like to say that Kirsten has returned to living a normal life, but ‘normal’ wouldn’t be the right word.
Despite the fact that Kirsten, who lives in Sydney’s eastern suburbs, has been sober for almost a year, the damage to her body from years of weekend drinking is irreversible.
To put it very simply: if Kirsten drinks again, she will die. And even if she never drinks alcohol again, she still faces a lifetime of health complications.
Kirsten, in her mid-30s, was told by doctors that if she had not gone to the emergency room she would have died the next day (she is pictured during a recent hospital visit)
“I used to enjoy going to restaurants, but now I have to eat like an old man in a nursing home because of my ulcers,” says Kristen
Now she can only eat bland foods, like this hospital meal, so as not to irritate her ulcers
Kirsten’s ulcers were caused by excessive drinking. What started as an occasional glass of wine with friends in her 20s turned into weekend indulgence of two, three, four and more bottles of Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc in her 30s.
The booze was killing her slowly and now, even after sobering up, her body is paying the ultimate price.
She can never eat spicy food again – even salt and pepper can kill – and she can never drink coffee or tea again. Her diet today should be bland and tasteless so as not to irritate her sores.
“I used to enjoy going to restaurants, but now I have to eat like an old man in a nursing home because of my stomach ulcers,” she says. ‘And if I drink again, I’ll die. That’s a fact.’
It’s a far cry from her old life, where she called herself the “ultimate It girl.”
With her long, wavy, sun-kissed hair, model figure and glamorous job as a make-up artist at the time, Kirsten turned heads everywhere.
From the moment she signed off on Friday afternoon until late Sunday evening, Kirsten spent her weekend doing what many young women love to do: partying.
“As soon as Friday started, I went to the local bar for happy hour,” she tells me.
‘Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I drank bottles and bottles of wine and thought I was having fun. I wanted to stay drinking at six in the morning while all my friends wanted to go home. I thought I was the ultimate It girl.”
Despite the fact that Kirsten has been sober for almost a year, the damage to her body from years of weekend drinking is irreversible
But Kirsten’s drinking was slowly killing her, and she didn’t know how to stop.
“I thought I could regulate my drinking,” she says. ‘I was extremely motivated during the week, doing my master’s degree in social work, going to the gym most days and training for marathons. I even had two whiteboards where I wrote my list of things to do that week. But that weekend I was drinking bottles of wine.”
In 2020, Kirsten underwent a liver function test and the doctors were amazed by the results: the little 32-year-old had the liver of a 65-year-old alcoholic man.
‘Doctors told me that if I continued drinking I would be dead within three months. I was too scared to tell anyone.’
Kirsten tried to drink less. Normally she could last a few months before falling off the wagon. Friends begged her to go to rehab or a hospital, but she refused.
‘I was completely dead inside. I was too scared to get help because I was afraid people at work would think I was incompetent. Friends would hide their fancy wines when I passed by. I went from being the party girl to shaking and vomiting when I drank. I had no control anymore. I didn’t want the other It girls to see me like that.’
Kirsten had what she calls several ‘low points’. There was a family reunion where she was left sobbing and alone in the garden. Another time, she found herself lying on the floor, crying among empty liquor bottles, drinking only a bottle of vodka.
Once admired for her looks, Kirsten couldn’t even bear to look at herself in the mirror.
With her long, wavy, sun-kissed hair, model figure and glamorous job, Kirsten turned heads wherever she went – until binge drinking took its toll on her health and her appearance.
Shannon Webb, clinical psychologist at The Banyans Healthcare in Queensland warns that young women are more likely to develop alcohol-related illnesses than men
“I knew I had to get help; everyone was worried about me. I had dead eyes, a swollen face and couldn’t get up to do my hair that I was so proud of. I went from partying to complete isolation.”
Kirsten finally discovered 12-step recovery meetings in January last year. The 12 Steps are a set of principles originally developed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and have since been adopted by many self-help groups that help individuals overcome addiction and stay sober. The cornerstones of the twelve steps include recognizing your power over alcohol, making amends for past mistakes, and helping others get sober.
Although it has been a bumpy road, Kirsten has had a year of sobriety. She will struggle with alcohol-related health problems for the rest of her life, but at least she is no longer in the hell of active addiction.
She is now applying for a scholarship to study law and regularly attends meetings at Gorman House, an addiction treatment centre, part of St Vincent’s Hospital in Sydney.
‘I wish I could go back in time; what I regret, sleep with me every night. I have learned to surrender, and I know that total abstinence is the only way forward for me. There is no middle ground,” she says.
‘Do I want a life of death, doom and destruction, or to be free from the clutches of alcohol? I choose life.’
Shannon Webb, clinical psychologist at The Banyans Healthcare in Queensland, warns that young women are more likely to develop alcohol-related illnesses than men.
“There are several reasons why women respond differently to alcohol, including their lower body fat, lower levels of metabolic enzymes, and hormonal fluctuations that affect the way the body breaks down alcohol,” says Shannon.
While weekend binge drinking, especially in the run-up to the holidays, may seem like a great way to break the ice at social events, unwind or celebrate, it can quickly wreak havoc on your life, says Shannon.
‘We often see guests among the Banyans whose alcohol dependency arose from small habits that escalated into full-blown dependency. The next time you sit down for a drink, ask yourself if this is the choice you want to make.”
Sober coach Kathryn Elliott says problematic drinking can happen to young women without them knowing it
Kathryn Elliott, founder of www.thealcoholmindsetcoach.comis a Melbourne-based sober coach who specializes in binge drinking, especially among young women looking to escape their weekend drinking habits.
‘Problem drinking can sneak up on young women without them knowing it. I was a boozy party girl in my twenties and I thought I would grow out of it. But at age 46, I still fell over, hit my head and blacked out. So my warning to young women is that you don’t necessarily grow out of it.’
Kathryn’s advice for concerned drinkers is to reset, take a break from alcohol and learn to go out sober.
‘If you isolate yourself at home because you don’t want to drink, you cut yourself off from people. You can still participate, you can still go out, you just learn without alcohol.”