Something a member of Manchester City’s staff offered a while ago came to mind as I tried to piece together the team’s latest capitulation.
“It’s not easy to read Pep’s mind,” they said. “We just have to follow it and interpret it.”
No interpretation is needed at this point. Pep Guardiola literally bears the scars of the war City waged against themselves. They all know what he’s thinking and feeling now – as evidenced by the events before and after City threw away a three-goal lead against the inconsiderate Feyenoord.
When Guardiola arrived for the match at the Etihad Stadium, a bloody nose and strange red lines were visible across his head. He said he picked at the skin with a fingernail, a nervous tic for a man whose eccentricity matches his genius. One often cannot exist without the other. The red lines faded during the 3-3 draw, but reappeared later in the evening after City’s capitulation.
Later, in an attempt to lighten the mood at the end of his media duties, the Catalan joked that he wanted to hurt himself amid this torturous form. It was a rare verbal error from someone usually so measured, and Guardiola released a statement clarifying that he was not insulting anyone struggling with mental health issues.
Guardiola scratches his scalp. He’s had his head in his hands. He fell to the ground and broke his knuckles. All these things are behavioral traits of the 53 year old.
Pep Guardiola was left with a number of cuts and marks after Man City’s draw against Feyenoord
The City boss was seen frustrated in the dugout after his side threw away a three-goal lead
The full repertoire has been on display over the course of five straight defeats, and now a draw that leaves their progress to the knockout stages of the Champions League without the need for a play-off in February uncertain at best makes.
The wounds make you wonder what unrest is going on in that mind. Sources say he seemed “lost” as he walked through the tunnel on Tuesday evening and there was a lot of introspection afterwards.
He has never experienced this before. At least not to this extent. Never this bad, although there are some comparisons to be made with previous runs.
The decision to sign a two-year contract extension in 2020 came days after the defeat at Tottenham, and poor draws against Manchester United and West Brom followed, with performances that were below par. At the time, sources asked what Guardiola had seen to convince him to stay. It’s fair to assume that the same people are wondering that now too.
But in 2020, he turned it around – even after starting the season on a hunch, so much so that he didn’t even have the energy or enthusiasm to attend the first practice of the year. City eventually won the title, the first of their four in a row. He can also turn this around, although he has recently admitted that past comebacks were achievable thanks to a fit squad. Not a luxury he now possesses, so the search for answers goes deeper.
And observing him over the past few weeks has been almost like witnessing the five stages of grief.
It is denied – rightly or wrongly – that City’s level has fallen. Guardiola disputes that the only really bad day was at Bournemouth when they lost 2-1. He even said that the challenge was something he enjoyed and, by extension, needed. There has been anger, in the form of passionate defense of his team and dressing down behind closed doors. He is also not averse to fierce arguments with assistant Juanma Lillo.
Negotiations took place as he discussed squad composition and injuries, before depression and acceptance appeared on Tuesday.
Guardiola insists their only truly poor performance was at Bournemouth when they lost 2-1
However, the draw against Feyenoord has left them six games without a win in all competitions
There was an air of resignation in the press room after the match against Feyenoord as he returned Jack Grealish’s last-minute chance, which rebounded off a post. Like he knew it would never fly in because that’s not how things work.
Body language expert Judi James revealed yesterday that Guardiola had projected a series of self-attacks during his media rounds and that his appearance via other signals conveyed a sense of ‘distress, frustration and even helplessness’.
Guardiola is not around Manchester very often and spends his days worrying about the huge hole in his side’s midfield. He looks frustrated and that’s understandable. The way City gifted Feyenoord all three goals was, as Ilkay Gundogan put it, ‘inexplicable’.
There have now been 17 goals conceded in these six games and Gundogan described this season as his toughest in a City shirt.
“If we lost 2-0 at home, we would obviously be disappointed, but the way we did it, eh… it could have only been worse if we had conceded a fourth goal and lost the game,” Gundogan said . “We only have ourselves to blame.”
Looking at their manager, who normally looks so good but is now bruised, it is clear that he is burdening himself with the collective guilt.