A woman has caused a stir after suggesting she send a bride-to-be ‘Sorry you can’t make it’ cards for guests who miss the wedding RSVP deadline.
Nishma Mistry pCompose a draft message to send to family and friends who miss the invitation deadline after seeing the ‘frustrations’ of brides.
The 39-year-old, who has been married for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and constantly heard complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who had not let them know if they were attending their wedding.
The marketing manager, who is originally from London but now lives in Atlanta, Georgia, explained that South Asian weddings in particular often have hundreds of guests and several days of events, so it is very important to have sufficient staff.
Nishma Mistry has put together a draft message to send to family and friends who miss the invitation deadline after seeing the ‘frustrations’ of brides
The 39-year-old, who has been married for 14 years, runs the Asian Bride Sorority and constantly heard complaints from brides who were irritated by guests who had not let them know if they were attending their wedding.
Nishma recalled how, prior to her own wedding, she was frustrated about having to call all of her 550 guests to see if they were coming so she could arrange catering and table plans.
She wishes she had thought to send a message back then and decided to help brides-to-be by drafting a draft statement.
It reads: ‘We’re sorry you can’t come to our wedding.
“Our RSVP deadline has passed and unfortunately you have not responded.
‘We would have liked to have you there, but the final figures have now been received and we will miss your presence. Bride and Groom.’
Despite some calling it ‘tacky’ and ‘harsh’, Nishma received a lot of support from brides.
She shared, “I see the frustration of not getting RSVPs back. I thought: let me draw something up.
‘I was sometimes criticized that it was a bit too loud. People say it’s a bit sticky. But people have the invitation for four months. It’s inconsiderate.’
Nishma recalled how, prior to her own wedding, she was frustrated about having to call all of her 550 guests to see if they were coming so she could arrange catering and table plans.
Nishma admitted that the wording may need to be perfected, but supported the need for it.
She said: ‘Everyone is allowed to have an opinion. In South Asian culture there are often 500 people and different events.
‘I had 550 guests. The wedding ceremony was one day. The reception was one day. We had a pre-wedding event with 200 people and a civil wedding.
‘I had to call everyone and ask “are you coming?” It was such a waste of time.
“You have a list as big as your arm that needs to be done and you’re trying to please everyone.
‘People don’t realize how important it is to respond back.
The marketing manager, originally from London but now based in Atlanta, explained that South Asian weddings often have hundreds of guests and several days of events
“I don’t think anyone had to sign up before in our culture. I don’t know if it was etiquette.’
Nishma says she received mixed reactions, but many brides could resonate with it.
One said: ‘I absolutely love it. The people who have a problem with it are the people who don’t want to respond.’
Another said: ‘No, I wish I did this. Even people who had registered did not show up. I got so angry thinking about all the money we spent on them.”
Nishma concluded, “Many brides responded and said, ‘I’m stealing this.’ If I were to get married now, I would edit the text and send it.’