Vicky Pattison has said that her time on the Geordie Shore made her feel “like she’s probably up to no good at all”.
The 35-year-old reality star rose to fame on the MTV series but has since made an effort to distance herself from the show.
Speaking at an event for the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) at Portcullis House in London on Wednesday, she said she had “zero faith” in herself to succeed.
She told the PA news agency: ‘Nobody would have anticipated that a girl from Wallsend would be in the place I am now unless I did, I had no faith in myself.
“And the time I spent on Geordie Shore just completely reinforced the idea that I was probably up to no good and I’m very lucky that I managed to put that time I spent on reality TV into something with longevity, to use my platform. forever, in having a voice and speaking for the people who need you to speak for them.
Candid: Vicky Pattison has said her time on Geordie Shore made her feel “like she’s probably up to no good at all”
Beginnings: The 35-year-old reality star rose to fame on the MTV series but has since made an effort to distance herself from the show.
‘Zero faith’: Speaking at an event for the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (Nacoa) at Portcullis House in London on Wednesday (pictured), she said she had ‘zero faith’ in herself to succeed.
“So I never would have imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be here.”
She added: ‘It’s very important, if someone has a platform, to use it for something. Otherwise, why are you fucking famous?
Vicky also said, ‘I’m very lucky to have a great platform, I can’t say that I’m going to influence the government, Jesus Christ, who I think I am, but there are people within Nacoa and its ambassadors who will. have that kind of power.
“So I’m super honored to be affiliated with people who are actually campaigning for change and I’m going to do that in any way I can.”
Previously, Vicky has been very open about her father’s battle with alcoholism and her own, revealing her fear of falling into the same trap.
She was known for her drunken binges and wild nights on the Geordie Shore, and has shared that, looking back, she is “mortified” and was “never a good drunk”.
Vicky also recalled contemplating suicide during her stint on the show, with humiliation taking the upper hand.
speaking frankly to The timesshe explained that growing up with an alcoholic father: binge drinking in her youth affected her far more than their party-loving counterparts.
Sharing that her father, John, who is now in remission, suffered two heart attacks, a stroke and cancer of the mouth, Vicky also recalls being used as a “human cane” while helping him get home from a party.
She shared: ‘I was always begging dad to stop. She has tried rehab, AA. They would hospitalize him to dry out, but he would start over.
Struggles: Sharing that her father, John (pictured center), who is now in remission, suffered two heart attacks, a stroke, and oral cancer. Vicky also remembers being used as a “human cane” while helping him home from a party.
Rowdy: Joining the raucous cast of Geordie Shore in 2011, aged just 22, she admitted she was “unable to stop after a few drinks” like others, which landed her in dangerous situations (pictured on show)
‘The boys didn’t want to knock on my door because dad could be scary. I didn’t want to be like him. But at times I have been exactly like him”, explains Vicky.
Joining the raucous cast of Geordie Shore in 2011 aged just 22, she admitted she was “unable to stop after a few drinks” like others did, which landed her in dangerous situations.
“A lot of people on the show had a great time and got funny and silly and then stopped. That was never me. I don’t have an off switch and I was never a good drunk.
‘You’ve got sloppy drunks, whiny drunks, aggressive drunks, I was all of them. I never wanted the party to end but I would be yelling, belligerent. I drank excessively and drank dangerous amounts,” he told the publication.
The influencer now struggles to watch old scenes of her on the show, admitting she wasn’t herself and felt the need to play party girl persona.
Mortified – Admits to being ‘mortified’ when watching scenes from Geordie Shore, not knowing if she ‘blocked’ them or can’t remember them due to drinking’ (pictured in show)
Vicky has previously spoken about contemplating suicide after she was arrested in 2013, writing that “I had lost everything I had going for me and I didn’t want to live anymore” in her 2014 book Nothing But The Truth.
The suicidal feelings came after she was charged with two counts of assault for throwing a shoe at a woman in a bar while intoxicated, injuring all parties involved.
Vicky was ordered to perform 180 hours of community service and pay compensation to the woman and a staff member, who were caught in the crossfire.
She explained to The Times that both her sister and a friend helped her during that time, and have continued to receive therapy ever since.