A veteran has miraculously survived shooting himself in the face with a shotgun and nearly drowning in his own blood after falling into depression when he was kicked out of the army.
Joshua Duncan, 26, of Phoenix, Arizona, had served two years in the U.S. Army with a military occupational specialty in communications when he was kicked out for a series of infractions, including tardiness and not wearing a uniform.
He described the “shame” as so great that he couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone. He felt so ‘lost and upset’ that he began drinking heavily and fell into depression before having to move back to his parents’ home.
In November 2022, while putting the family’s shotgun away, he said he first had the idea of shooting himself and in a “split second decision” turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger.
“I thought, this could all be over, I have a shotgun in my hands. “I won’t be a burden to my family, they will feel bad for a while and then they will get over it,” he said.
Joshua Duncan, 26, from Phoenix, Arizona, had been in the U.S. Army for two years with a military occupational specialty in communications
He described the “shame” as being so great that he couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone because he felt so “lost and upset” that he started drinking heavily and fell into depression.
In November 2022, while putting the family’s shotgun away, he said how he first had the idea to shoot himself and in a “split second decision” turned the gun on himself and pulled the trigger.
In the immediate aftermath, Joshua remained conscious and managed to crawl across the carpet and knock on the bedroom wall to alert his brother Anthony, 32, in the next room as he ‘began to drown in his own blood’.
Anthony initially opened the door armed with an AR-15 style rifle out of fear there might be an intruder, called an ambulance and was rushed to Nashville Hospital.
Where he woke up screaming in pain before having to undergo multiple surgeries.
The attempt on his life left him with damage to his tear ducts, nasal cavities, his oral cavity, both his upper and lower jaws, along with damage to the facial nerves and left him deaf in one ear.
He also believes his memory has been affected by the shooting as he now struggles with math and spelling.
Now, a year later and after a miraculous recovery from his horrific injuries, the TikTok creator has had time to come to terms with what happened and hopes by sharing his story he will encourage others to ask for help when they need it.
Joshua remained conscious and managed to crawl across the carpet and knock on the bedroom wall to alert his brother Anthony, 32. Image of Joshua’s jaw.
Joshua’s suicide attempt left him with damage to his tear ducts, nasal passages, his oral cavity, both his upper and lower maxilla, along with facial nerve damage and deafness in one ear
Joshua said: “I live in America so we all have guns in our rooms. I carried it back to my bedroom and went to put it under my bed where it goes. ‘(It was a) split decision’
He said: ‘I live in America, so we all have guns in our rooms. I carried it back to my bedroom and went to put it under my bed where it goes.
‘(It was a) split decision.
“I thought, this could all be over, I have a shotgun in my hands. I won’t be a burden to my family, they will feel bad for a while and then they will get over it. I won’t have to deal with all these problems mentally and physically.’
‘It’s going to sound sick, but I felt the relief that it would all be over soon. It was a sick feeling of ‘it will all be over soon’.
“Without thinking about it, I turned it over and pulled the trigger.
‘It was an instant moment of shock. One side of my brain was talking to the other, like ‘did we really just do that?’
“Like ‘yeah, you really just shot yourself in the face with a damn shotgun.’
‘As all violent suicide attempts will tell you, there was a sense of immediate regret.
‘I have a big hole in my face. Because the wound was around my mouth and throat, I started choking. I breathed in pools of blood. I’m starting to drown.
“I thought, ‘We need to breathe,’ so I turned my injured side down so the blood would drip from my throat.”
He continued, “I’m screaming for him as best I can now that half my jaw is gone.
‘I’m on my hands and knees right now and it was like someone poured a hot bucket of water over me.
‘It didn’t hurt at all, probably because of the shock. My body felt shockingly cold, more than cold.
‘Then he tries to talk to me, but I don’t hear anything. One of my ears tore off and the other one was ringing so bad.
“My brother is the toughest man you’ve ever met. For the first time in his life there was concern on his face.’
Joshua was taken to a hospital where he woke up screaming in pain before undergoing multiple surgeries
However, fourteen months later, Joshua has made a miraculous recovery and has had time to reflect on what happened. Now he feels less impulsive and more introspective.
He urged people to ‘Check with your friends. Ask for help when you need it, that’s the hardest part. Have those difficult conversations, even if they are difficult.”
Joshua believes that if he had focused more on the fight, he might not have been kicked out.
He said: ‘If my training was about keeping my team alive I would have taken it a bit more seriously.
“(Being thrown out) was one of the most devastating things I’ve experienced.
“I had thousands of dollars worth of uniforms, cold weather gear, warm weather gear. I remember being so upset that I threw it all in a dumpster.
‘I didn’t tell anyone for years. Such a huge piece of shame comes from being part of something big, when you were no longer part of it.
‘It certainly played a major role (in the path towards my suicide attempt). I left the military feeling so lost because I didn’t know what to do with my life.”
However, fourteen months later, Joshua has made a miraculous recovery and has had time to reflect on what happened. Now he feels less impulsive and more introspective.
He is now in a relationship and hopes that by sharing his story he can help others who struggle to speak out, even when it is difficult.
Joshua said, “I wish I could say this effort has brought me to a better mindset, but it took a lot of work for a long time.
‘It took me a good year to reflect strongly and come to terms with how my life has turned out.
“This isn’t going to sound profound at all, but I make my bed every day. I used to not make my bed every day.
‘Look at your friends. Ask for help when you need it, that’s the hardest part. Have those difficult conversations, even if they are difficult.
‘Give yourself time. This all sounds so cliché, but tell someone. You have to be very blunt and say, “If things don’t change in my life, I plan to kill myself.”
‘Sometimes you have to be very progressive. Even if I say it out loud for the first time.”
For confidential support, call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritan chapter. See www.samaritans.org for more information