Getting older can make you less interested in sex or cause you problems in the bedroom – but it doesn’t have to.
Whether it’s low testosterone, erectile dysfunction, menopause, or other health issues, libido naturally declines with age.
Research has even shown that a poor sex life after reaching middle age can lead to permanent conditions such as dementia.
However, sex after 50 is not impossible. In fact, experts have said that older people can still have a healthy and enjoyable sex life regardless of their age.
Dr. Rena Malik, a urologist at the University of Maryland, detailed in a recent video practical advice for having great sex with age.
Below are her top seven tips:
Aging can lead to a natural decrease in testosterone and estrogen, leading to less desire and problems with sex
Try morning sex
Testosterone – the hormone responsible for libido – is active during the day, meaning it is highest in the morning and gradually decreases throughout the day.
That means you have more testosterone in the morning, which leads to a higher sex drive.
“Your testosterone level can be related to how high your sex drive is, so it works with our circadian rhythm,” said Dr Malik. “It is highest in the morning and decreases further during the day.”
You are also less tired in the morning than in the evening.
Dr. Rena Malik, a urologist at the University of Maryland, shared several tips for having enjoyable sex after age 50
Consider your medical history
Dr. Malik suggested keeping track of your medications and conditions, as some of these can reduce sex drive.
Consider talking to your doctor about possible alternatives if you’re concerned that these medications may affect you.
take your time
As you get older, spontaneous desire becomes less common. This implies that a person immediately becomes aroused. While spontaneous desire decreases, you are more likely to have responsive desire, which is a response to direct sexual stimuli.
“It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. It just means it takes a bit more time,” said Dr. Malik. “Spend time in that place of foreplay where you can really feel each other, enjoy each other, in other ways before penetrative sex.”
Experiment with your whole body
As you get older, it may take longer to reach an orgasm. This is because genitals can become numb or less responsive, which can make climax difficult.
This could be due to low testosterone or estrogen. For women, low estrogen can cause problems such as decreased blood flow and lubrication, as well as pain during sex.
Pelvic floor problems, which can result from factors such as childbirth, can also lead to problems because the muscles that support the vagina are not as strong.
In men, low testosterone can lead to delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
“What I tell my patients is that if you look at the spinal cord, there are sensors that include pressure, temperature and vibration,” said Dr Malik. “It’s important to experiment with different kinds of things that actually stimulate those different parts of the spinal cord.”
This can include using sex toys, lubricants, or even BDSM to add more sensation to the genitals and other parts of the body.
Use lube and other sex aids
Since women, in particular, tend to be less lubricated around the vagina as their estrogen levels drop, consider adding lube, Dr. Malik said.
“Adding the lube can make sex less uncomfortable and even much more enjoyable,” she said.
There are also tools you can use to improve balance, mobility, weakness, or fatigue, all of which can make sex more difficult with age.
Dr. Malik said foam pillows and wedges can be a more stable alternative to regular pillows, and doorpost swings can help position yourself or a partner safely for certain sex acts.
Be optimistic
“The brain is the most powerful organ you have for sex,” said Dr. Malik.
She cited research that looked at how people over 40 feel about their sex lives. One study in particular, she said, showed those who were the most optimistic were more likely to have “more frequent and more satisfying sex” when interviewed again 10 years later.
Consider other options
If health problems persist and you see no improvement, traditional sex may not be an option.
Dr. Malik said to “be stimulated in other ways.”
“Spend time with your partner without expecting penetrative sex,” she said. “Find out what really turns you and your partner on, and you can still have an orgasm without an erection.”