Transman cries as he explains how much easier it was to make friends with women

A transgender man burst into tears as he talked about his struggles as a man – and how it used to be easier to make friends because women are “open and vulnerable.”

James Barnes, born female but transitioned to male eight years ago, works as a life coach helping others make life changes. He recently talked about the challenges he faces, especially loneliness.

Barnes burst into tears and said, “No one told me how lonely it is to be a man.

“I had closer friendships with random women I met in the bathroom of clubs before I transitioned because of how open women are than I’ve had in my 8 years of transitioning because women are just so much more vulnerable and deeper than men.

“We knew what depth felt like before we transitioned, we knew what it felt like when people want to hug us, and when people want to talk to us and have a community.

“And then you go over and you’re just a guy walking down the street where people cross the street so they’re not around you. And friendships are so much harder to build, and people are colder.”

Barnes, who is also a motivational speaker, said while holding back tears, “I also now understand why the suicide rate is so much higher in men, because this is lonely.

“I’m an emotionally mature man, I know how to build friendships, and it’s still very, very hard.”

The trans influencer, who is married to wife Courtney, posted the video with the caption, “Here I am, extremely vulnerable, posting something to live on the internet as a bridge.

‘Women and marginalized groups have every right to be careful with men. There are terrible and dangerous men we must stop.

Also, men are human and are not immune to the coldness or lack of empathy, and those who are not dangerous often have to pick up the broken pieces on their own.

‘I want to make people aware that they are no longer empathetic, vulnerable and kind, but humiliate them because they only know anger, aggression and violence.

“I had a gift of growing up in a society that thought I was a woman, so I learned emotional maturity, and this is still hard to get through.

Barnes shares images of himself before his transition (left) as he inspires and helps those who may be on the same journey

Barnes with his wife, Courtney

The life coach often shares photos of himself before his transition, when he was a woman (left)

“I beg you in truth not to beat up the messenger. I work through all these raw emotions as I process my manhood and how to be a problem solver.

“I know there are nice cis men, cis women who pass on wisdom, and trans men and women who try to bridge the gap. I see you and am so grateful.’

His original post, in which he cried, was posted in October 2022, but when he gave an update, Barnes said, “Because of this post I’ve built amazing friendships with men and I no longer feel this sadness, turns out vulnerability helps.”

‘I have never regretted the switch either.’

Speaking of the video, one person said, “The most real ftm [male to female transitioning] mail I’ve ever seen.’

Another person wrote, “I feel for this person. But if you sit there and say that all the criticism of ‘white cis-gender men’ is justified, you probably shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t want to be friends with you after that.’

Another added, “I feel like loneliness is something all men deal with at some point, regardless of whether they were born biologically female or not.

He reminded his fans: ‘I never regretted the switch either’

“Society has different norms and expectations for men and I think it’s really great that someone who’s ‘lived’ both sides brought this up because they’re in a unique position to explain the contrast.

“Maybe it bridges some gaps for people to watch the strong men in their lives struggle in silence.”

A fourth person gave his opinion: ‘Life can be lonely as a man, but we don’t cry because we’re not ‘help buddies’. Women are made for partnership, they can’t do well without community.’

Another viewer on Instagram said, “I’m not making fun of you, I’m laughing at the fact that I could have told you this for free.

A man for 35 years. Nobody gives a st**. And every time I open social media of any kind someone says, men are useless, we don’t need men, men are not shit, men should be arrested, men should die, etc… I know I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to be a man, but you better buckle up.

“It only gets worse as you get older. I hope you like the inside of your mind, because that’s where we go 90% of the time.”

Another person added, “This is actually a really powerful video. A woman tries to become a man, but then discovers the deep isolation that many men experience in modern society.

“Truly a tragic story, but so much is being revealed about our culture. No good.’