Transgender woman, 29, reveals it took her 27 years to realize her true identity

A trans woman said stalkers and drug addiction kept her from realizing her gender for 27 years before moving out of state and appearing on LinkedIn.

Lilly Cantino, from Atlanta, Georgia, grew up as a man and was teased for being ‘flamboyant’ and ‘fat’ during high school.

The 29-year-old claimed she never realized she was trans after becoming addicted to prescription klonopin and smoking too much cannabis.

After a decade of heavy drug use, she moved to San Francisco in August 2020 to cut back and stay clean.

Once she was clean, she realized she was trans after buying a wig and dress at Target.

She now goes by the name Lilly, which she used to name her video game characters, and was featured in a LinkedIn post. which received four million impressions.

Lilly pays $530 a month for health insurance and medications, which paid for her $8,500 laser hair removal procedure and allows her access to hormones.

She is now saving for buttock surgery, which can cost between $60,000 and $100,000.

Lilly said: ‘It just felt horrible, I hated my body and I hated myself. Gender dysphoria makes you feel a deep depression that is very difficult to describe; life feels impossible.

The influencer explained that gender dysphoria is when there is a mismatch between the body you are born into and who you are.

She added: ‘I suffered a lot of bullying for being overweight. I hated my life. I was physically and emotionally abused.

‘Thugs made up a pet name called “Chad” and said “you have big tits” and told me to take off my shirt and dance.

“I was the butt of a lot of jokes, so it had to be someone else.”

Although Lilly decided to lose weight when she was 14 and moved to Macalester College, Minnesota, at 18 she was still in denial about her identity.

She added: “Interestingly, it’s a progressive school, there’s a queer and trans community and it’s very liberal,” she said.

“It would have been very easy for me to get out, but I was in on the lie and I actively tried to pretend that I’m not that.”

‘I was a bit of an idiot. He was trying to convince me that it was better than that. I even remember telling a therapist that trans people missed me.

Lilly self-medicated by smoking heavy cannabis and was prescribed benzodiazepines on which she became dependent.

She said: ‘I was prescribed benzos for 17 years for sleepwalking and it zombified me.

‘I had to get away from him like if you leave him instantly, he can kill you. I’ve been sober on weed and benzos for almost three years.

“I was in deep active addiction throughout my twenties and once I was able to get a level head, the conversations within me began.”

When Lilly sobered up, she started going to cosplay events and began to wonder why she felt so good dressing up and wearing bras.

Lilly didn’t realize she was in the wrong body until she he gave up drugs and left the south and moved to San Francisco in August 2020.

She said: ‘When I was leaving the South, I felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I immediately started thinking about going to Target and getting that dress.

“I went to Target and bought a dress that looked like something out of Little House On The Prairie and put on a wig.

‘I needed a little more convincing and then I put on a black dress and thought wow.

“It was a bittersweet moment because I thought there was something here, it is the answer to my emptiness and loneliness, I have been living a lie.

“I kept it a secret and was trying on clothes and makeup; I was a jerk and I was figuring it out on my own.”

By December 2020, Lilly was sure of her true identity and knew her name instantly.

She said: “Like many trans people, I had been playing video games for years and always picked girls and called them Lilly.”

She found a mentor, a trans woman in 2020 named Eve, who helped her discover herself and answer questions she had.

In October 2021, he told his best friends Deborah and Jake on a trip to Atlanta.

She said: ‘I remember being so nervous, I said ‘let’s go out for a few drinks’.

“I remember being drunk and saying that I might be trans. I pulled my shirt over my head and became a non-existent shell.

‘Deborah said ‘we love and support you’ and it was liberating. It made it so much easier to tell the next person.

Her brother Gabe, 23, found out that Lilly was trans after he changed his gamer tag to ‘Lillytino’ and saw her hairless arms in a video chat.

Gabe simply asked Lilly, ‘Do you want me to call you Lilly?’

Next, she spoke to her parents, Patrick, 58, and Nina, 64, who were a little more concerned about telling them.

She said: ‘I told them via video chat and they immediately said we love and support them.

“They’re older, so it’s been a learning curve, but they’ve sought out resources to learn.”

Patrick is a GP who now works at a trans-inclusive health centre.

Lilly came out to the world in an unusual way when she posted on LinkedIn, “Hey my name is Lilly and I use her,” along with a photo of herself in January 2022.

According to the influencer, she received four million impressions and companies have now approached her for advice on how to be trans inclusive and she started LillyContino Consulting LLC.

Lilly started wearing dresses and makeup and in May 2021 was prescribed the hormones spironolactone, a male hormone suppressant, progesterone and then estrogen.

She added: ‘Taking progesterone helps the breasts and my emotions run hotter. Now I cry much better.

Lilly worries about trans women who don’t have insurance to pay for hormones, saying many resort to buying hormones on the black market.

He added: “There is a global shortage of estrogen and progesterone right now.”

Over the next few years, Lilly hopes to undergo transfemale buttock surgery.

She said: ‘I was slowly dying before and now I’m alive. I’m excited to keep talking about trans inclusion and helping people come out.

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