Transgender man stops testosterone to get pregnant with a sperm donor after his partner discovered she couldn’t have children

A trans man stopped taking testosterone to have a baby after his partner found out she couldn’t have children.

Caleb Bolden, 27, from Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, began the transition from female to male six years ago – at the same time he started trying to have a child via a sperm donor with partner Niamh Bolden, 25.

She suffered three miscarriages and a stillbirth of twins at 23 weeks and 27 weeks before being told she would likely never have children.

Instead of paying an estimated £70,000 to Niamh for private fertility treatment, Caleb stopped his daily testosterone injections and used a sperm donor.

Six months later, he fell pregnant from a sperm donor he found on social media, and daughter Isla-Rae Bolden was born in May.

Despite nasty comments from strangers and suffering from gender dysphoria during pregnancy, Caleb loves being a dad — and said he’ll do it again.

The store manager said, “It was a tough road to get rid of testosterone because there were so many hormones going through my body.

“It was soul-destroying. Switching was something I knew I wanted to do from a young age.

“But I knew for myself and my partner that it was something we had always wanted and I wanted to try.

“If it’s age appropriate, I’ll tell her the things that are relevant. I want other transgender people to know that it’s okay to carry a child.

“We are no different from other people. Just because we were born with a biologically different gender doesn’t mean we should worry or lock ourselves up.”

She said she was told that the eggs she produces are immature and thus cannot be fertilized.

According to guidelines from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence, NHS-funded IVF is only available to women “who have failed to conceive after two years of regular unprotected intercourse or 12 cycles of artificial insemination (with six or more through intrauterine insemination). are)’.

This means women in same-sex relationships, or couples where one person is trans, must “prove” they can’t conceive through artificial insemination (AI), campaigners have argued.

The pair say this means Niamh would be forced to undergo 12 consecutive rounds of AI – which could cost as much as £80,000 – before being eligible for NHS aid.

So Caleb decided to try to conceive instead and stopped taking testosterone in January 2022 – some 27 months after he first started.

After meeting a sperm donor through social media and building a good relationship, Caleb went ahead with IUI fertility treatment and found out in August 2022 that he was pregnant.

“I had been on testosterone for 27 months and was told there was a good chance I couldn’t get pregnant and my period probably wouldn’t come back,” he said.

“But within a month of stopping, my menstrual cycle returned, and within six months and three attempts with a sperm donor, I got pregnant.

‘Very early in the pregnancy we received very good support from West Suffolk Hospital.’

He said most friends and colleagues supported him, but some people suggested that “men can’t get pregnant” and that he received comments from strangers pointing out that he was a man who was pregnant.

He added that his colleagues didn’t know he was trans until he revealed he was pregnant – but they supported him.

Caleb said he received a lot of support from healthcare staff and was offered separate rooms for scans so that women could not see him.

Midwives and a consultant created a specialist care plan to ensure that Caleb was able to maintain his privacy throughout the experience.

He was even induced and gave birth in a separate room, rather than in a ward.

He gave birth naturally at West Suffolk Hospital in May 2023.

“It was hard at first because I had complications – I was bedridden for the first four weeks after leaving the hospital, so I couldn’t have that bond with my daughter.

“During labor, her heart rate dropped rapidly and I underwent an episiotomy.

“But after I left the hospital, I was in pain — it was because there was a breakdown in the episiotomy.

“The suture broke and I had constant infections for five weeks, I couldn’t move.

‘In the beginning I breastfed for two weeks after giving birth, but I found that quite difficult.

“I know she’s my daughter and I gave birth to her, but it felt really weird to me and I didn’t feel like that father figure to her.

“I’m recovered now so I can do a lot more and my partner has been a great support.”

He interrupts his testosterone treatment because he wants to get pregnant again later this year with the same donor.

He added: ‘I want to be able to carry a child one more time before I start taking testosterone again.

“I plan to do that later this year and use the same sperm donor again.”