A trans man has revealed he has had a healthy baby after years of miscarriages with his partner.
Frankie, a trans man, and Rāwā welcomed their new child Hiwa-i-te-Rangi to their home in Canterbury, New Zealand’s South Island, in 2023.
The couple broke the news this week in hopes of showing trans couples that it is possible to have a child, but Frankie admits it also comes with challenges.
Before Frankie became pregnant, he read about what his testosterone therapy could be causing infertility and beyond multiple miscarriages and several rounds of low-level failures fertility interventions, the couple began to lose hope.
That all changed on New Year’s Eve 2022 when Frankie, who hadn’t been drinking, started vomiting.
When the couple got home, Frankie took a pregnancy testbecause, you know, sometimes you just do it to laugh and giggle,” he shared NZ Herald.
It immediately gave a positive result.
“I couldn’t even say anything and Rāwā just looked at it and then he didn’t say anything and then we took a shower in silence and I think we didn’t say anything for a few hours because we were just shocked,” Frankie said.
Rāwā and Frankie, from rural New Zealand’s Canterbury, share what it was like welcoming a child into the world as a trans man
Frankie suffered from gender dysphoria, a condition in which a person’s sense of identity does not match their assigned gender at birth.
He said he wasn’t concerned when the physical signs of pregnancy started to appear because it was a conscious decision by the couple to try to conceive.
Rāwā and Frankie had to wait seven months for Frankie’s testosterone stores become depleted before they can attempt to conceive.
Frankie’s hypothyroidism was another complication, but one endocrine team worked with his GP to tailor his treatment to the pregnancy.
The biggest concern after the pregnancy was preparing for the ‘doomsday scenario’ in which Frankie started menstruating again as his body became more feminine.
Rāwā felt an “obligation to ensure Frankie was kept safe” and so immediately worked to understand a healthcare system that was not designed for trans pregnant people.
One blood clinic told the couple that the tests were initially reserved for women only, but Rāwā said that apart from that incident, everything else worked fine.
When the couple finally told their family and friends about the pregnancy, there was “a lot of yelling.”
“It was just very magical and very lovely and everyone and their cats and dogs wanted to be the aunt and uncle,” Rāwā said.
Rāwā and Frankie have decided to share their story in a new TVNZ documentary aired on November 11.
The couple will discuss their past experiences with miscarriage and Frankie’s loss of testosterone before showing his home birth and its complications.
Frankie said he wants to tell his story increasing the visibility surrounding carrying a child as a trans man.
During the lowest points of pregnancy, Rāwā said other trans people’s reactions to their stories kept them going.
“Maybe we would never have been able to have children and we had a few miscarriages, but maybe at some point we would have given up and just said, we can’t do this anymore,” he said.
Looking ahead, Rāwā and Frankie say their main focus is raising their son, but they hope to expand their family with more children in the future.
“If we have just one child, we are so blessed to have had such a beautiful birth and to be loved and cared for so well. But you know, we also want to have more kids,” Frankie said.