Previous generations were at it like rabbits, but Generation Z has less sex and fewer partners than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations.
There is a growing list of things that are effectively throwing a bucket of cold water over the beds of our young adults.
Sex may be readily available, but Gen Z is well aware of the risks associated with it – and isn’t attracted to the ‘rough sex’ on offer.
Deliberately maturing at a snail’s pace, delaying leaving home, avoiding alcohol and preferring to communicate socially over the phone rather than in person – all these factors have made sex a source of stress rather than pleasure for this generation.
This is why.
TRACEY COX: The younger generations are less concerned with sex because they are deliberately maturing at a snail’s pace
They take longer to mature
Generation Z is growing up in slow motion. Everything happens later.
Young adults are increasingly putting off most major life events – and not just sex. They postpone getting their driver’s license, stay at home longer, and settle down romantically at a much older age.
This is partly because people are living longer than before. If you think you are still healthy and staying around 90, there is less panic about continuing. The entire development process slows down.
It used to be that you got your retirement watch at 60 and not long after that you were pushing up the daisies. Everyone wanted to grow up and do what adults did – drink, smoke, have sex – while they still could.
If the chance of living to a hundred years is completely achievable, what’s the rush?
Even when Generation Z leaves home, there is regular contact with their parents. We might pop in for a roast every now and then, but the daily (or more) check-in certainly wasn’t in Generation Z’s favor. They still ask mom and dad’s opinion on things – and most parents encourage their Do not encourage children to go outside and go to sleep.
They choose to live at home with mom and dad
Generation Z is growing up in volatile political and economic times. The future seems uncertain; even a world war seems possible. General anxiety makes them less likely to want to leave Mom and Dad’s cozy nest and step out into the big, bad world alone.
Even though they felt brave enough, the global pandemic disrupted their education and career plans. Money is anything but plentiful, dreams of being as financially successful as their parents seem unattainable. If you have ambitions of owning your own home, the only way to achieve this is to live at home and save on rent.
Previous generations would have found this prospect utterly devastating.
Leaving home for college was as much about casually experimenting with sex and drugs as it was about getting an education. Now it means going into debt, and for what? A degree no longer guarantees you a better wage, let alone a job.
How are you supposed to have unbridled sex and drink until you drop when your parents are in the next room? Answer: You have no real desire to do any of these things.
In this week’s column, British sex and relationship expert TRACEY COX reveals why younger generations are having less sex
They are much less hedonistic
My boyfriend always jokes that he doesn’t understand how someone gets sober. “No one would have sex for the first time if they didn’t get drunk,” he says.
He’s kind of right.
Anyone who drank as a teenager (I drank regularly at 15 and everyone I knew did too) knows how big a factor alcohol played in our decisions to have sex. Sober it would have been ‘I shouldn’t have’. Drunken it was ‘Hell yes!’. As all drinkers know, alcohol loosens inhibitions and reduces resistance.
Generation Z drinks much less alcohol than all other generations. They also have a constant supply of entertainment at your fingertips.
Sex was a form of entertainment for previous generations. Something fun to do. We all watched television as soon as it was available, but it was controlled: limited content within a limited time frame.
Gen Z grew up streaming entire series whenever they wanted. The ‘Netflix effect’ not only affects the sex lives of young people; all generations say access to streaming has affected the amount of sex they have.
When choosing between sex or a box set, many like to choose the latter.
SEX IS TOO AVAILABLE
In an age when contacts seem as limitless as a right swipe on a dating app, the rest of us assumed Gen Z was having the time of their lives.
We’ve forgotten that if you want young adults to do something, you have to ban it and make it difficult to get it. The availability of sex and the acceptability of casual sex have made it unattractive. Commitment is now the prize – and that will take more time to achieve. Unlike previous generations, Generation Z prioritizes emotional connection and meaningful interactions over casual sex.
That’s also because they are afraid of it.
We have done an excellent job educating young people about the risks of sex. Consent issues are addressed by excellent social media educators such as lalalaletmeexplain. We’ve empowered female Generation Z to make informed decisions about their sexual health and well-being. The result is that they are not afraid to say no to sex.
Gen Zers are being educated about the risk of pregnancy, STDs and HIV. Because they are risk-adverse by nature, they do not take any risks.
Sex is scary for another reason. There has been an increase in ‘rough sex’ (choking or strangulation during sex) among young people between the ages of 18 and 29. It is now common behavior among students. For some it is wanted and requested. For many others that is not the case.
It is safer to avoid sex altogether than to risk a very unpleasant encounter.
SOCIAL MEDIA IS A DOUBLE-SIDED SWORD
Social media and apps may provide an easy connection for sex, but they fuel anxiety around sexual performance and body image.
Young women are bombarded with heavily filtered images of cosmetically enhanced ‘beautiful’ women they should aspire to be. Any boy or man who has ever clicked on a link promising the “secret” to an erection that “never lets you down” has subsequently been inundated with ads for ED drugs like Viagra.
Young girls avoid sex because they’re afraid they won’t look good, young men avoid sex because they’re afraid they won’t deliver the kind of performance these ads convince them women want.
Social media also affects sex on another level.
Other generations went to the pub to meet friends and create the right mood for sex (drunk) and opportunities (the person standing next to you). Gen Zers are curling up on the couch and communicating on their phones. Many young people are best friends with people they have never met in person. Meeting in person is not nearly as important for this generation as it is for the rest of us.
Speaking of personal meetings, let’s not forget…
THE CURSE OF COVID
A solid body of research shows that the decline in interest in the sex trend predates the pandemic.
But it certainly didn’t help.
Many missed attending traditional events where many young people lose their virginity: school dances, their first music festival, traveling through Europe with friends, house parties.
Instead of exploring sexually, they sat in front of the television as a family and watched Strictly.
But they have sex with themselves, right?
That’s all well and good, I hear you think, but young adults are young adults. Our desire for sex doesn’t just disappear! They must all be masturbating madly.
Not so.
A study shows that between 2009 and 2018, the share of adolescents reporting no sexual activity – alone or with a partner – increased from 28.8 percent to 44.2 percent for young men and from 49.5 to 74 percent for young women .
Our desire for sex may be disappearing.
The number of young people who identify as asexual and do not experience sexual desire or attraction is increasing. Hundreds of thousands of young adults now identify as asexual: research shows that this is the case for 1.7 percent of us. Ninety-one percent of them are between 18 and 27 years old.
Noted sex researcher and educator Debby Herbenick (Kinsey Institute) says, “I routinely had a student in my class who might identify as asexual. Now I have three or four. I find that striking.’
NO SEX AND INTIMITY MAKES FOR UNHAPPY PEOPLE
Sex is good for you. It releases stress, stimulates the ‘happiness hormones’ and strengthens our immune system. It helps us sleep, feel intimate and connected. It’s highly enjoyable and damn fun.
If you don’t have sex, you won’t get these benefits.
It’s no surprise that unhappiness and depression have reached all-time highs for this age group. The first digitally native generation – Gen Zs grew up with smartphones in their hands – are therefore less and no longer connected to other people.
Visit traceycox.com for more sex and relationship advice and check out Tracey’s two product ranges, Supersex and Edge (for men), on lovehoney.