Top Relationship Therapist Reveals the 8 Behaviors Guaranteed to DESTROY a Relationship

Not arguing with your partner and being an overbearing mother-in-law or father-in-law are two signs your marriage is destined to fail, a leading couples counselor has warned.

Dr. Nicole LePera, a clinical psychologist from Philadelphia, listed relationship characteristics as part of eight behavior patterns she sees in partners who are “not cutting it.”

LePera, aka @the.holistic.psychologisttold her one million followers on

She recalled scenarios from previous clients and said sharing private problems with family members is possible can leave a partner lacking trust.

This creates unnecessary friction in the relationship, she said.

Next on the list of relationship-disturbing habits assumes the worst. ‘They assumed their partner’s intentions were malicious or negative. Instead of being curious, they were accusatory,” she said.

Her next alarm signal will be welcome news for couples in a fiery relationship who are prone to quarrels between lovers.

Many of Dr. LePera’s couples who separated “never had an argument,” she said.

Recalling scenarios from past clients, Dr. LePera said that sharing private relationship issues with family members can cause family members to become “overinvolved.”

‘This was usually because one partner was avoiding or suppressing their problems. If one partner finally reached a boiling point, the other partner would be confused because they seemingly never disagreed.”

Another warning sign is that one person in the couple is ‘pushing’ the other to make changes in their lives.

This can make the partner feel like the other’s “project” and lead to resentment.

She noted that the other person in the relationship often has no interest in change and that this behavior can make things worse.

Having unrealistic expectations of a “fairytale” partnership can also cause relationships to go downhill.

Dr. LePera explained that people with an idealized view of what a relationship should be often struggle with adulthood and the idea that life can be “hard or boring.”

Holding on to the little things and not knowing when to forgive can also cause a relationship to fall apart.

Recalling past clients, she said, “They had a low frustration tolerance and a rigid way of dealing.

“Without the discernment to know when to let go of an issue and when to focus on it, they became very critical and exhausting of each other.”

Focusing on “optics,” such as what the relationship looks like from the outside to friends, family, or even on social media, is another trait that can ruin your love life.

Instead, a relationship should be about how it feels to each other, Dr. LePera emphasizes.

Finally, not knowing how to get over an argument or apologize is another trait Dr. LePera has observed in unhealthy relationships.

She said: ‘In relationships we will hurt people, and people will hurt us. Recovery is apologizing, listening (even when it’s hard), and promising to do better. Instead of recovery, there was defensiveness and deflection.’

Followers praised Dr. LePera for her insightful post, while others admitted to seeing the same traits in their own relationships.

The psychologist, who has 9 million Instagram fans, has previously been open about her polygamous relationship with her wife Lolly and another woman.