This is the sex question your kids will ask you the most (and how to respond)

This is the sex question your kids will ask you the most (and how to respond)

  • “What’s 69?” is the most common sex question children ask
  • Sex and relationship experts say it’s important to answer the questions
  • Kids will look online because they won’t get answers, which can be unsafe

Kids as young as eight are eager to know what “69” really means, why older classmates think it’s funny to moan and bump their hips, and whether “puberty is really worth it,” experts say.

While kids asking for answers to questions about curly sex is nothing new, they can now access the information online more easily than ever before.

Rowena Thomas, a sex and relationships educator, told the ABC while answering your kids might be uncomfortable, it’s much better than letting them rely on Google.

Kids as young as eight are eager to know what ’69’ really means, why older classmates think it’s funny to moan and bump their hips, and whether ‘puberty is really worth it,’ experts say

When children ask their questions online, they may encounter overly explicit answers or even violent pornography.

“Parents don’t talk about it because they don’t think their nice kid would watch pornography — really nice kids watch pornography because they’re curious,” the educator warned.

She further explained that the most frequently asked question revolves around the number 69 and what it means sexually.

“I hear it every day,” she said.

This is supported by an 11-year-old boy whose sexual questions were first stopped two or three years ago.

The boy told the ABC he had heard terms like 69 being joked about on the playground, but whenever he asked teachers for an explanation, they dismissed the question.

The school notified his parents after he asked for it a third time.

Now the fifth grade friends are openly talking about PornHub and nagging teachers and students.

Some even show younger kids how to access porn online, advising them on how to turn off safe search or “stop parents from knowing.”

“Most kids just say things because they’ve heard other kids say things. But the other kids know what they’re doing,’ he said.

He said other kids will secretly watch sexually explicit anime, especially during sleepovers.

Ms Thomas said half of all children between the ages of 6 and 13 have access to a mobile phone, and a third of all children in that age group also have one.

She says it’s important for adults to come up with answers that are age-appropriate for their children so they don’t stumble across something inappropriate online.

The team at Private individuals and Prevention have devoted an entire page to answering tough questions – including the ever-popular ‘what does 69 mean?’

Answering questions is important - because kids now have access to the internet

Answering questions is important – because kids now have access to the internet

They said getting down to your child’s level and calmly asking what they think it means is a good start.

This can help parents identify what their child has or has not been told. Keeping calm is key, as it’s important for kids to know they can ask questions about sex, sexual health, or anything else that’s taboo.

“You can dodge a bullet by asking what they already know about it. In the case of 69, it could mean something numerical or mathematical,” they said.

“But let’s say it’s not ‘innocent’ and that your child’s description is something sexual. Then it’s time to get curious.’

It is good to calmly check where your child heard the information – without directly asking ‘who’.

It is also important to work out if your child is safe.

Once that’s done, it’s time to answer the question.

For kids under eight, they suggest saying, “That activity is something only adults do with other adults and only with permission.” It’s not something kids are doing or needing to know right now. But I promise if it’s something you need to know and you have questions about it, I’ll be happy to help you find the right answers.”

For kids older than that: “Answer the question as best you can in as generic and clinical a way as possible, and ask them if they have any other questions.” Remember that you are explaining too much. And if you find yourself giving more information than you wanted, pause and say, “I think that’s enough you need to know for now, but if you have any other questions feel free to ask.”