This is the controversial reason why you should dump your long-term boyfriend: ‘If he does this, break up immediately’
A woman has divided opinion after sharing a controversial reason for breaking up with your boyfriend or turning down a proposal.
Michelle Elman said that you should break up immediately if your man is not putting any effort into the relationship and only does so when he is about to propose.
The London author explained that a relationship should always be 50-50, and that the proposal should never be your partner’s first time hosting a date night.
‘This is so important. It’s not about grand gestures, it’s about effort. “I wouldn’t be in a relationship if they needed a special occasion to do something nice for me,” Michelle said on Instagram video.
London author Michelle Elman (pictured) encouraged women to break up with their boyfriend, who has not put any effort into the relationship, except when it comes to proposing marriage.
Michelle recalled a conversation she had with a friend who was convinced her partner was going to propose because he had made a restaurant booking – something he ‘never does’.
‘I asked, “Do you think he’ll do it on holiday, do you think he’ll book a restaurant?” and she said, “Oh, he couldn’t do that because it would be a giveaway,” Michelle said.
She was confused as to why simply making a reservation would make the “obvious” thing he suggested.
‘She said, “Yes, I would know because he’s never done that before.” They dated for ten years!’ Michelle continued
‘Forget the proposal! I wouldn’t be in a ten-year relationship with someone who has never booked a restaurant.
‘In a long-term relationship, the effort should be split 50-50 between trips, date nights, booking restaurants, planning and organizing things to do together.’
Michelle said if such a man asked her to marry him, it would be an “absolute no.”
‘Personally, I don’t even go on first dates unless the guy books. But if the only time a man books a restaurant is on the proposal… that would definitely be a no,” she added.
Michelle explained that a relationship should always be 50-50, and that the proposal should never be the first time your partner has hosted a date night (stock image)
The video has since been viewed more than 607,000 times and received thousands of comments from other women, many of whom agreed with her point.
‘Correct! My now husband cooked me breakfast in bed (complete with rose petals and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert) when he asked me to marry him, and I honestly had no idea it would happen because that’s exactly the kind of man he is ‘ one woman wrote.
“My proposal has been bothering me for two years and I think you’ve solved it. I’m going to sit with this for a while,” said another.
A third added: ‘I wish someone had raised me with this knowledge. I wasted a lot of time being a servant to a minimum of men. I regret it.’
However, others disagreed and argued that it would depend on the man’s personality.
“I feel like these types of videos are harmful because my partner has problems with these types of things because of his ADHD,” one woman explained.
“Just as he grew up, now after two years he is becoming more consistent with gifts and romantic gestures.”
Another said: ‘Some people are just motivated differently and there doesn’t have to be balance in all areas of a relationship. You may find it easier to make plans and the other person may find it easier to do other things.’
Someone else wrote, “I wouldn’t be in a 10-year relationship with someone who takes 10 years to propose.”