A master-certified matchmaker with 25 years of experience has shared five “surprising indicators” that could indicate you or your partner are more likely to cheat.
Louanne Ward, founder and CEO of Matchmaking by Louanne Ward in Perth, has outlined the crucial things you need to be aware of that can help you predict future infidelity.
1. Parental infidelity
“If one of your parents cheated in the past, you’re more likely to do so too,” Louanne said.
In her experience, this “genetic footprint” can predispose you to infidelity.
And she’s right, with a study run in 2017 and concluded that you or your partner are 2.5 times more likely to cheat if there is also infidelity in your parents’ relationship.
“Witnessing infidelity in childhood can normalize it,” Louanne explained.
Louanne Ward, Founder and CEO of Louanne Ward Match Making in Subiaco in Perth
2. High body count
Partners with a ‘high body count’ should also be careful.
Those who have experienced many partners and one night stands are more likely to stray than others.
Facts about female infidelity in marriages, it turned out that women who had more sexual partners before marriage were much more likely to cheat on their partners.
The study found that women with two to four partners before marriage were about six times more likely to cheat, while women with more than 20 partners were more than 16 times more likely to break their vows.
“A high body count often correlates with a sensation-seeking attitude toward sex, which can undermine long-term commitment,” Louanne said.
3. Past behavior
Most agree with Louanne that past behavior is something we need to keep in mind, with many believing the old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”
“A history of infidelity is one of the strongest predictors of future infidelity,” the dating relationship expert warned.
Louanne explained that infidelity is not simply a ‘mistake’, ‘it is a choice, a conscious decision’ and should be treated as such.
While she believes people can change, she thinks this requires “serious self-reflection and dedication” on the part of the cheater.
So if you decide to trust a cheater again, she advises you to remember that “it’s a gamble and the odds are not in your favor.”
Data on female infidelity in marriages shows that women who had more sexual partners before marriage were much more likely to cheat on their partner,” Louanne said.
4. Avoidant attachment style
If you or your partner have an “avoidant attachment style,” it may also be more difficult to fulfill relationship commitments and seek “intimacy elsewhere,” Louanne explains.
People who are in a relationship with someone who exhibits this attachment style should pay attention because “if you notice a pattern of emotional withdrawal, it could be a red flag.”
5. Emotional and behavioral instability
The last indicator to look out for is emotional and behavioral instability.
Those who are “prone to dramatic changes in mood and behavior” can damage the delicate “emotional bonds that help maintain fidelity.”
Louanne reiterated that these are just predictive indicators to keep in mind and not a guarantee of actual behavior itself – “it doesn’t mean they’re cheating.”
And what if you or your partner strays, is trust something that can be rebuilt?
Louanne says the commitment to wanting the relationship “has to be there” on both sides.
“There also has to be a willingness to let it go,” she said.
If the injured party remains attached to the betrayal, it becomes difficult for the relationship to continue to grow.
Louanne believed that the person being cheated on should also be able to acknowledge their own behavior and recognize that it may have contributed to their partner ‘looking for something outside the relationship’.
Infidelity is not just physical; the matchmaker also identifies hidden conversations, secret meetings, and obtaining “emotional support elsewhere” as signs of emotional cheating, which can often be as big a betrayal as physical infidelity.