There’s one huge issue men have with their marriages, JANA HOCKING writes, and they believe it gives them the green light to cheat on their wives

Women, I don't mean to worry you.

But it seems that the married men among us have a serious problem that urgently needs to be addressed. Yes, I would almost go so far as to call it a national outrage.

How should I know that? Well, they confess it to me every week during the Saucy Secrets confessional I host on Instagram. The same dilemma appears again and again among a large number of men, all with the same problem.

Now prepare yourself… it seems like they're all very frustrated because their partners don't like blowjobs.

Yes it's true. There are a LOT of marriages stuck in a blowjob free zone right now. Most men who admit this issue to me go so far as to look elsewhere for BJs – or at least think about it – and justify it with a simple, “Well, if she won't give me one, then I will” I'll find someone else who would like that.'

Unless you have an open marriage, I don't think these things work that way.

Women, I don't want to worry you, but it seems like the married men among us have a serious problem that they desperately need addressed: they're all frustrated by their lack of blowjobs.

Most men who confess this problem to me are now looking for BJs elsewhere

Confessions include:

1. 'My wife doesn't give blowjobs. An ex (also married) recently reached out and we messaged to reminisce about how good the sex was. She offered to give me one last, no-obligation BJ. I'm exhausted, what should I do?'

2. 'My wife hates blowjobs, so I go to a brothel about once a month to release the tension. Worth every cent.'

3. 'I have been with my partner for over 10 years and can count on one hand the number of blowjobs I have received. She hates giving them, I'm 'eh' against it, but it would be nice every now and then.'

I have thoughts about this, oh so many thoughts.

As someone who really enjoys doing the 'act' myself, I'm a little perplexed by the problem. I mean, sometimes I can't even warm up without some reciprocal oral action. There is something very sexy about doing this specific 'work' for someone else, knowing that it will turn them on immensely. I'm getting hot under the collar just thinking about it.

So imagine having a marriage that you hope will be for life, knowing that you may never enjoy the beloved BJ again.

Here's a tip: grease our minds and you might get us greased elsewhere. Women need more than a spanked ass and a 'do you want?' to get in the mood

Guys, in the beautiful words of Taylor Swift, maybe you should come to the conclusion… 'It's me. I am the problem, it is me'

It certainly looks bleak. But guys, I'm afraid you're looking at this all wrong.

I suggest you ask yourself why she doesn't enjoy giving you such a pleasurable act. Could it possibly have something to do with you? Do you do things that warrant some extra love?

Are the lawns mowed? Did you help around the house? Have you recently taken the kids off your hands for a much-needed break? Or do you just growl at her as a form of foreplay? It happens much more often than we women would like to admit.

Here's a tip: grease our minds and you might get us greased elsewhere. Women need more than a spanked ass and a 'do you want?' to get in the mood.

A friend of mine recently confessed that her husband had let himself go. She said that although she takes regular pilates classes and trims 'the bushes' to look fit, healthy and fresh, she has chosen to go the other way. She complained that once they got married, he put on more and more weight and stopped making any effort.

While she used to take off his clothes, now she wonders if he showered before going to bed. He's a tradie and the thought of him stomping around in the sun all day and then coming home and expecting action while still wearing the leftovers from the day – including sweaty undergarments – is all a bit gross.

Another friend complained that her husband's constant farting and lack of personal hygiene really put her off going south. She said it physically made her gag.

In fact, a recent survey from British retailer Currys found that one in five men admitted to wearing the same dirty underwear for a week, while every woman in the survey said they changed their underwear daily. Are these the exact same men out there complaining and complaining about the lack of action? You have to wonder…

I think it's interesting that so many men have said they will look elsewhere for the blowjobs they love, when they could get them at home just by making a few simple lifestyle adjustments.

So guys, in the beautiful words of Taylor Swift, maybe you should come to the conclusion… “It's me. I'm the problem, it's me.'

Grab a vacuum cleaner, give the house a good cleaning, go to the gym, buy a nice perfume, shower before bed, and you might just happen to find yourself in a better position. A sexual one.

Just a thought…