A therapist has revealed why she's against making New Year's resolutions and what you should do instead to achieve your goals in 2024.
Dena Domenicali-Rochelle, a psychoanalyst and clinical social worker with offices in New York City and Stamford, Connecticut, shares mental health advice on TikTok, where she is known as @denathetherapis.
The 44-year-old opened about her disregard for good intentions on January 1saying it's an “unrealistic fantasy” that inevitably “makes you feel like a failure.”
“Since it's the first of the year, I want to talk about resolutions,” she began. “So I don't like them, and I don't think you should make any.”
Dena Domenicali-Rochelle, a psychoanalyst and clinical social worker, shared why she doesn't like New Year's resolutions on TikTok
The 44-year-old explained that resolutions “play into the tempting but unrealistic fantasy of perfection” and will ultimately lead to perceived “failure” (stock image)
Domenicali-Rochelle explained that resolutions “build on the seductive but unrealistic fantasy of perfection.”
“Maybe this time I'll do it perfectly, maybe this time I'll stay fully committed and not make any mistakes,” she said.
“But that's a fantasy, and there will come a day, probably relatively soon, when you won't feel as committed and you won't care as much.”
She noted that “it will feel like a failure” if you falter because you “created this idea of perfection.”
“When you feel like you're a failure, you're tempted to say, 'F**k it,'” she added. “And if you say, 'F**k it,' you're completely escaping the change you want to make.”
Instead of making a New Year's resolution, Domenicali-Rochelle said to “wget up every morning and ask yourself, “What can I do today that will help me get what I want in the long run?”
“And whatever that is, make sure it's a realistic expectation and ask yourself to do it. That is it. So you just take it one day at a time.
'Forget long-term resolutions. They're not going to help you, but I hope this was helpful,” she concluded. 'Happy new year.'
“When you feel like a failure, you're tempted to say, 'F**k it,'” she said. “And if you say, 'F**k it,' you're completely escaping the change you want to make.”
Instead of making a decision, Domenicali-Rochelle said you should “wake up every morning and ask yourself, 'What can I do today that will help me get what I want in the long run?'
The therapist titled the video “F**k New Year's Resolutions.”
“I don't like resolutions, and I don't think you should make them,” she reiterated in the caption. “Instead of setting yourself up for unrealistic perfection, take it one day at a time.”
If you've made a New Year's resolution this month, experts agree that you shouldn't have an all-or-nothing attitude, especially when it comes to fitness.
Speaking to DailyMail.com, Hengchen Dai, a behavioral science researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, advised keeping a single goal in mind.
An example is hiring a personal trainer to get in shape. It only takes a temporary increase in motivation to sign up, but you create a long-term commitment to working on your health.
“Once they find and pay for a trainer, the commitment they have to make to the trainer can help them maintain that effort,” Dai said.
And working with a trainer to get in shape is much healthier than, for example, starving yourself after a holiday binge.
Dai explained that having an “emergency reserve” can also help you achieve your goals over time because it provides some wiggle room.
She advised aiming for the highest goals, such as going to the gym five days a week, but also giving yourself some time off if you really need it.
This way, if you occasionally fall short, you won't return to bad habits.