The Top 3 Signs Your Partner Is a Narcissist…and the Easy Way to Deal With It

A psychologist has revealed three telltale signs that your partner is a narcissist.

Amy Brunell, a psychology professor at Ohio State University, said all narcissists share the same core traits: righteousness, self-centeredness and a lack of empathy for others.

Because these individuals tend to lead with their charming, likable personalities early in a relationship, it can be difficult to recognize those negative traits at first.

“People are surprised when I say this, but when I meet someone who is very charming and outgoing, I’m on alert,” Brunell said.

‘There are charming and sympathetic people who are certainly not narcissists. But from my experience I think it is wise to be aware and protect yourself.’

But Brunell has a simpler method: identify narcissistic people early and remove them from your life.

The first red flag is love bombing, which one often takes the form of excessive flattery, gift buying, and overwhelming attention at the beginning of a relationship.

It may feel like an innocent expression of your partner’s love and admiration for you, but it’s actually a manipulation tactic, Brunell said.

“It’s great until it’s not, and often then it seems like you’re too far into a relationship to break it off. Therefore, it is best to look for these signs early,” she added.

Other common signs of narcissism include a constant need for attention and admiration, taking advantage of others and expecting special favors without reciprocation, according to Brunell.

Brunell discussed the latest research on narcissists and how to deal with them in an article published in the magazine Cambridge elements.

The new research could be especially helpful for those who have been in long-term relationships with narcissists.

A recent study found that even narcissists can become more empathetic when directly asked to consider someone else’s perspective in a situation.

Another found that when narcissists remembered a time when they showed concern, love, or acceptance for another person, their narcissism decreased over time.

“These lines of research and others like them are promising and suggest that narcissists do not lack the ability to change their way of life for the better,” Brunell said.

‘But it remains unknown how long such positive effects last and how it works outside the laboratory.

“These offer some hope, but we don’t yet know whether these tactics will work in the real world.”

Although leaving a narcissistic long-term partner comes with many challenges, those early in the relationship may have a chance to get out.

“If you’re in a new relationship and you get the impression that this person is narcissistic, the best thing to do is leave,” Brunell said.

But even then, “It’s hard when they flatter you and pay so much attention to you.”

These general principles apply to all narcissists.

But there are different types of narcissism to look out for.

Brunell explained three key shapes that the latest research has identified.

The first ‘Agentic Grandiose Narcissism.’ This type is characterized by grandiosity, high self-esteem, extroversion, arrogance and dominance.

They have an ‘exalted’ view of themselves, especially when it comes to their own competence and intelligence. This makes them feel superior to others, even if this is not reflected in reality.

To maintain their feelings of superiority, these traits are designed to make others feel inferior by insulting or belittling them. For these people, nothing is more important than their personal status, not even intimacy with others.

The second type is communal grandiose narcissism. These narcissists seek admiration by being caring and helpful, which may sound counterintuitive.

But while it may seem like communal narcissists are deeply concerned about others, their behavior is actually motivated by a selfish need to be admired.

For example, one study found that when communal narcissists received powerful feedback about their personality, they actually became less helpful in response.

Third, there is Vulnerable Narcissism, which is characterized by low self-esteem and negative emotionality. These narcissists typically struggle with anxiety and depression.

They are often socially inhibited, defensive and vindictive, and find it difficult to trust others because they think everyone is out to get them.

Yet these narcissists are oversensitive to social approval because they have difficulty regulating their self-esteem and therefore rely heavily on feedback from others.

Although researchers have gained many new insights into the different forms of narcissism in recent years, Brunell says there are still many experts don’t know, especially when it comes to actually dealing with these personalities.

‘People encounter narcissists all the time. But we need more research on best practices for interacting with them on a daily basis,” she said.

‘There is a lot of good practical advice, but we don’t yet know how well it works.’