The secrets to getting a second date: Scientists say good manners are key for men – but it’s all about flirting for women

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The secrets to getting a second date: scientists say good manners are key for men, but it’s all about flirting for women

  • A University of Florida-led study has shared the secrets to getting a second date
  • Women are looking for a polite man who is a good listener and asks a lot of questions
  • Men love dates that shower compliments, hold hands, and even drink alcohol

Whether it’s a cheap chat or a bouquet of flowers, there are tons of classic tactics for impressing on a first date.

But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways to secure a second outing.

Their findings suggest that the secrets to getting a second date differ dramatically between men and women.

For ladies, the study suggests it’s all about flirtatious eye contact, handing out compliments and holding hands.

In contrast, polite men who ask a lot of questions are more likely to land a second date.

Whether it’s a cheap chat or a bouquet of flowers, there are tons of classic tactics for impressing on a first date. But now scientists have revealed some of the most successful ways to secure a second outing

THE MOST POPULAR DATING STRATEGIES FOR MEN AND WOMEN

WOMEN

  • to flirt
  • Holding hands
  • Drinking alcohol
  • compliment

GENTLEMEN

  • Listen
  • Deep conversations
  • Courtesy
  • Asking questions

“I got interested in this topic by observing a really bad date in a bar while I was out with my friends,” said lead researcher James Moran of the University of Florida. PsychPost.

“The man on the date was acting so weird and aggressive towards the woman on the date that she got up and left, and he was stunned.

‘At the time I was a master’s student studying relationship science and was curious if anyone had researched behavior that is more successful on a first date.’

The study recruited 131 participants to understand green flags in the heterosexual dating scene.

Men and women were asked to rank what they thought were the most important characteristics of a date in the categories of ‘etiquette’, ‘engagement’ and ‘behavior’.

Being polite, considerate and talkative was largely referred to as ‘etiquette’, while ‘involvement’ included, for example, drinking alcohol and holding hands.

Meanwhile, “behavior” included only two attributes that paid for the date and kept the door open.

In the eyes of women, dates with the most etiquette were considered more successful in the dating world.

So any date who gets a little too drunk or can’t stop checking their phone is at risk of getting ghosted.

On the other hand, men liked women who were more “involved” and showed more romantic gestures such as holding hands and flirting.

While flirty eye contact and drinking alcohol are considered a top priority for women, polite men who ask a lot of questions are believed to be more likely to close the deal

While flirty eye contact and drinking alcohol are considered a top priority for women, polite men who ask a lot of questions are believed to be more likely to close the deal

After these surveys, scientists watched the Netflix reality show Dating Around to understand the true role of these dating perceptions and strategies

After these surveys, scientists watched the Netflix reality show Dating Around to understand the true role of these dating perceptions and strategies

Interestingly, these behaviors didn’t quite match the views that men and women have about themselves and their own dating strategies.

Scientists revealed that women prioritize wearing makeup and being funny on a first date if they want the chance on another.

But men are rather crazy and even pick up a woman in their car if they are interested in a second date.

Still, the researchers wonder how much influence these strategies actually have.

After these surveys, scientists watched the Netflix reality show Dating Around to understand their true role.

Etiquette and involvement didn’t have much influence at all – it emphasized a stark contrast between perceptions and real life.

However, researchers recognized that TV shows are not always lifelike and heavily edited.

They wrote, “Reality shows about dating similar to ‘Dating Around’ (e.g. The Bachelor) are notoriously popular for cutting out scenes or getting people to like certain people for the sake of higher ratings.”

They later added, “Single people can benefit from this research because many people are looking for their long-term romantic partner and experience a lot of stress from dating.

As the Ryan Reynolds quote suggests, “A first date is an interview.”