The relationship therapist reveals the three little-known signs that your relationship is doomed
Anyone who has been in a committed, long-term relationship knows how easy it is to get stuck.
Experts say that once the mystery and newness disappear and our partner becomes familiar, it is common for attraction to wane.
But how do you know if it’s just a matter of rekindling romance, or if the relationship is truly dead and buried?
Now a top relationship expert and counseling professor has revealed the three signs that your partnership may be beyond repair.
Experts say that as the mystery of a romantic interest fades, it’s normal to feel less excited about it — but there are ways to tell if the relationship is working.
The first red flag is if you live with your partner, but find yourself unconsciously procrastinating about going home.
“Sometimes it’s fear of being around that person, or fear of how he or she will react,” Suzanne Degges-White, a certified counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University, told Business Insider.
She added that it is common in this situation to find excuses not to go home, such as working late or going out with friends.
The second bad sign is if you don’t feel the need or don’t want to text the person back.
This is not a matter of being distracted, says Professor Degges-White, but of an ‘I don’t care’ attitude to answers.
Doing this is an example of what she calls “self-protection and avoidance behavior” – often used by people in unhappy relationships.
One way to know if your relationship is forever is to regularly think about your future together and be excited about it
One of the prime examples of an unhappy relationship in Hollywood comes courtesy of Brick Pollitt (Paul Newman) and his tempestuous wife Maggie (Elizabeth Taylor) in the 1958 film, Cat On A Hot Tin Roof.
Finally, think about how you feel about your future – and whether you focus on positive prospects or regrets.
Degges-White said a telltale sign of a satisfying relationship is a sense of “hope” about the future.
“…your focus is on what’s to come versus the mistakes you’ve made.”
It means you’re often fantasizing about what’s next for your relationship, or how you might share the next chapter of your life.
But when you’re not truly happy, Degges-White says, you tend to focus on what you could have done, or how things could have been better.
In other words, you avoid thinking about your future life together because you’re really not looking forward to it.
Ultimately, a truly happy relationship is characterized by “feelings of gratitude for the person you are with.”
If you’re having trouble doing this, it might be time to stop.