The video is mesmerizing. Full of vibrant music, sparkling sounds and graphics that spin as fast as a fruit machine, UEFA spared no effort to launch what they call ‘the new beginning’.
All this bells and whistles are, of course, to herald the renewed Champions League. Depending on which spiel you’ve heard, we’re about to witness football nirvana – rich entertainment, glorious unpredictability and the purest form of competition, all designed to leave you breathless.
Don’t fall for it. If you’re tempted to think this could be something special, just watch the opening score from the Allianz Arena and remember what this is: a European Super League.
As we all know from the Premier League – another competition that doesn’t shy away from telling everyone it’s ‘the best in the world’ – there have been plenty of teams over the years that have failed to add anything and have been chronically under-qualified, which has only pushed the numbers up.
Perhaps Dinamo Zagreb will prove us wrong, but their capitulation to Bayern Munich will leave you cold as to what awaits us in the coming months. No team that wants to be among the elite should be allowed to take a nine-goal drubbing.
The new UEFA Champions League kicked off across Europe this week. Pictured: San Siro, where AC Milan welcomed Liverpool
Harry Kane scored four goals as Bayern Munich beat Dinamo Zagreb 9-2 at home
UEFA President Aleksander Ceferin (centre), pictured next to Cristiano Ronaldo and Gianluigi Buffon, has advocated the new format
Don’t write it off as ‘one of those nights’; if you can, rewatch the highlights. Six of the goals came in a 34-minute period in the second half, and the more Bayern players scored, the less they seemed to enjoy it – the way a Sunday morning mismatch at a local park can end: joyless.
There was nothing unpredictable about the result, just as there was nothing unpredictable about anything that happened on Tuesday. Liverpool win at the San Siro against AC Milan? The story would have been if they had not won.
It’s great to see Aston Villa return to this level after a 41-year absence, but a 3-0 defeat to Young Boys of Bern (Switzerland’s dominant team, who financially dwarf their domestic rivals) can’t be seen as if they had gone to the Nou Camp and done the same to Pep Guardiola’s Barcelona.
Were you surprised to see Juventus 3 PSV Eindhoven 1? Of course not. Real Madrid beat Stuttgart, one of the teams whose arrival in the Champions League should have brought some freshness and verve. Madrid didn’t play well to win 3-1, but did they really need to?
Do they have to play between now and January 29th – the final round of 16 match nights – to advance? Of course not. The top eight of the 36 teams go straight into the last 16, with the team in places 9 through 24 going into a play-off to join them. More games.
Liverpool recovered from an early concession to secure a comfortable win over Milan in Italy
It will be even harder for some not to qualify, given their sheer strength in depth compared to others involved. Take title holders Madrid as an example – yes, the trip to Anfield on 27 November is interesting, but is there any danger if they lose? Absolutely not.
Madrid’s last two games are against Salzburg, at home, and Brest, away. A trip to Atalanta in December could be tricky, but they have Lille, AC Milan and Borussia Dortmund, the latter two at home, ahead of them. A place in the last 16 awaits them, be clear about that.
If we were to predict the last 16, chances are that 13 or 14 names will be the same: Manchester City, Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain, Atletico Madrid, Arsenal, Liverpool, Borussia Dortmund, Sporting Lisbon, and so on.
Of course, there will be exciting matches along the way – it’s a breath of fresh air to see Bayern Munich and Villa face each other for the first time since 1982 – and every time you get a high-scoring shootout or a dramatic turnaround the PR trumpets will sound even louder.
But again, it is important to keep your mind clear. The league has not been improved by adding more games and more teams, and there will be enough games throughout Europe in December and January to complete the schedule.
Aston Villa made a winning return to the competition in their first European Cup appearance since 1986
Reigning champions Real Madrid started their campaign perfectly with a 3-1 victory over Stuttgart
When will these powers that be in football remember that less is more? The Euros have never been the same since the format went from 16 to 24, the World Cup will not be improved by adding more countries.
To be clear, UEFA has scrapped the Champions League and introduced the European Super League. This format is an elaborate joke, powered by AI and designed to boost bank balances. This is not an exciting new era: it’s more, more, more of the same. And you know how it ends.