Meeting your “older self” is a disturbing experience. Until it happened to me, I hadn’t given it much thought. But here I am, writing a letter to myself (a few decades from now).
I know this sounds strange, but hear me out. When I say I “tripped” in my older self, I mean it literally. What happened was I broke my shoulder after tripping over a tree root while running.
I thought it was a sports injury. In reality, it was osteoporosis. In addition to my shoulder, I had also broken two vertebrae in my spine.
It accelerated the aging process, making me feel like I had become my old self more than ten years earlier than normal.
Ruth Sunderland, editor of Group Business, was diagnosed with osteoporosis earlier this year
Suddenly, doctors tilted their heads and began to sing in the lilting tone they use with small children, the mentally handicapped, and old, difficult people.
One had the audacity to ask what percentage of the dysfunction in my shoulder I would accept. He seemed surprised when I told him I was aiming for 100 percent recovery.
The assumption seemed to be that as a woman over 50, my aspirations should automatically be limited. Anger drove me to prove him wrong. I worked my butt off at the physio and the doctors had to admit that I had exceeded their expectations (not mine, I hasten to add).
But it was a sobering look at how the health of older women is viewed – which will no doubt be familiar to many reading this. If this is how I was being treated now, I wondered, what will happen in ten or twenty years?
So here I am, writing a letter to the future me: Ruth at 70 and beyond. This letter is my commitment, a contract of sorts: as a business journalist, I’m pretty familiar with such things. It’s a promise to do everything in my power to ensure that I remain as healthy as possible into old age.
As a younger woman I made the decision to invest in myself financially, through pensions and other investments, I see this as the same thing, only this time I am investing in my health and well-being.
With husband Michael, who is in remission from cancer
I tuck the contract away somewhere safe. But I know it’s there, quietly reminding me of my promises. And hopefully, someday, I’ll pull it out, read it again, and thank myself.
In recent months, a series of studies have shown that lifestyle changes can have a profound effect on preventing some of our most feared diseases, including dementia and cancer. There’s also a lot I can do to protect my bones. I want my older self to know that I will never settle for second bests or low expectations of her. And I’m laying the foundation now.
Like many women with busy careers and family commitments, I did not consider my own health a priority prior to my diagnosis, especially since my husband is in remission from cancer and his well-being was and remains my primary concern.
Now I realize that if I take the time to take good care of myself, we both have the best chance of a happy and fulfilled life later in life.
1. Make exercise a priority
Experts say running is great for bone and heart health and mental well-being
I’ve been a huge running enthusiast for years and have always fantasized about what it would be like to still be in my running shoes and rocking a silver ponytail at age 70.
Experts say running is great for bone and heart health and mental well-being. There is also evidence that regular exercise reduces the risk of breast, bowel and even gynaecological cancers.
I started strength training because I learned in my research on osteoporosis that strength is very important as we age. It is also important to build confidence after fractures.
At first, weightlifting seemed scary and I was afraid of hurting myself. But with the help of a trainer and a physical therapist, I now love it. I have also started doing Pilates, which is great for improving core strength, balance, and preventing falls. I hope it will pay off by protecting me from more broken bones.
Exercise is also good for psychological health. Running alone in nature is meditation time. Walking with my husband in the countryside gives us valuable hours together, just the two of us.
Like many women with busy lives, I thought I didn’t have time to exercise more. The reality is that I don’t have enough time not to.
2. Eat well and maintain a healthy weight
I haven’t had any alcohol for years and I’m already thankful for that. Alcohol damages the cells that build your bones and makes you more susceptible to falls and injuries.
Because I lead a hectic life, I sometimes forget to eat. Depriving myself of food is a very bad idea, so I try my best to stick to fixed meal times.
We need more protein as we age, so I’m eating more salmon, chicken and other sources of it, plus lots of fruits and vegetables. I’ve also started taking calcium and vitamin D supplements, which are great for bone health.
But let’s not get too holy or boring: I like to eat expensive chocolates on a Saturday night, for a Scandi Noir.
In reality, osteoporosis has changed my entire thinking on the subject. Before the diagnosis, my goal was to be thin. Now, my goal is to be strong. I am proud of my newly defined muscles.
3. Not too much medication
Drug treatments are a controversial topic when it comes to osteoporosis and a number of other serious conditions.
My personal choice is to undergo the treatments. I will receive injections for a year that will stop further bone loss and allow new bone to be built.
After that I will switch to another medication and expect to be on treatment for the rest of my life.
I also take a statin daily to control my hereditarily high cholesterol levels.
But if I can avoid even more medications, I would very much like to do so. Not least because all medications can have side effects.
Many women with osteoporosis avoid medications and rely on diet and exercise to combat bone loss. It is a personal choice. I believe that the risks of not taking the medications outweigh the potential danger of rare serious side effects. However, for me it is not an either/or, but a both/and. I take the medications and follow the diet and exercise.
4. Stay creative and social
I want my 70 year old self to know that I have no intention of giving up on her
I know that at 70 I will sometimes feel alone: osteoporosis is a frightening, incurable condition that weakens bones and leaves people vulnerable to devastating fractures.
But because it’s associated with older women, it gets swept under the rug. It’s under-researched, stigmatized, and often undiagnosed. Broken bones become broken lives and broken spirits. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
The pervasive negativity surrounding osteoporosis casts a dark cloud over my expectations for myself in my seventies, so I will do everything I can to remain creative, productive, energetic and social.
I want my 70-year-old self to know that I have no intention of giving her up. I have loved fashion my entire life and at 70 I still want to look stylish. That is a huge incentive to continue exercising, eating healthy and taking my medication in the hopes of keeping my bones strong and preventing hunchbacks and height loss.
Loneliness is a huge risk factor for heart disease, cancer and early death. I hope to stay social by nurturing relationships with family and friends and making new ones.
5. When things don’t go according to plan, stay positive
There are demon what ifs swimming around in my head like a cloud of black moths. I know I’m not alone. What if I have a series of fractures? What if I’m in constant pain?
I can’t close Pandora’s box anymore, but I’ve found that it helps when I turn my fears into positive action.
One of the best things I did was get involved with the Royal Osteoporosis Society – I’m now one of their Business Ambassadors. They have a specialist nurse helpline and great online resources including diet tips, information on drug treatments, videos on how to exercise safely and a network of local support groups.
This letter is actually about some of the gifts I am trying to make for my future self now, if she is lucky enough to celebrate her 70th birthday. I don’t want to tempt fate, but just do my best for her.