The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence
Experts have warned of the serious mental health risks of intensive meditation following the suicides of two Americans and a Canadian who attended a popular ten-day retreat.
Two of the tragic individuals died during the journey and another was found dead ten weeks later – in all cases thought to be the result of an adverse reaction to the extreme psychological ‘therapies’ they practiced.
The retreats specialized in a form of meditation called Vipassana, which involves sitting in silence for up to 11 hours a day, with talking and even laughing prohibited.
The victims include Jaqui McDermott, 22, from Canada, who was found dead about 30 miles from a retreat in 2022 – after driving away in the middle of the night on the ninth day.
A subsequent report revealed that the aspiring artist had suffered “constant emotional episodes” in the days before.
Jaqui McDermott, 22, from Canada, found dead after nine out of 10 days at a Vipassana wellness retreat
Another is 25-year-old Megan Vogt from Pennsylvania, who was described by friends as “a fun-loving adventurer” before attending the 2017 retreat. However, when she returned home after the ten-day trip, she was incoherent, suicidal and, according to her family’s accounts, suffering from psychosis.
Ten weeks later she was found dead, having committed suicide.
In a note she found afterwards, she had written: ‘Please forgive me for doing this. I remember what I did during the retreat. Finally I have that memory. I can’t live with myself.’
Meanwhile, the body of Princeton-educated Ian Thorson was found in an Arizona cave with his delirious wife in 2012, after the couple fled a refuge.
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 2 Megan Vogt, 25, jumped off a bridge 10 weeks after attending a meditation retreat after becoming psychotic](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016582_964_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 4 Ian Thorson, 38, from New York, was found dead in a cave after attending a retreat that also taught Vipassana meditation](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016584_547_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
Megan Vogt, 25, jumped off a bridge 10 weeks after attending a meditation retreat after becoming psychotic. Ian Thorson, 38, was found dead in a cave after attending a retreat that also taught Vipassana meditation
The pair had been at the Diamond Mountain Retreat Center, a secretive Buddhist sect that practices Vipassana among other forms of meditation.
Thousands attend Vipassana retreats every year in hopes of finding ‘peace’ and ‘a new path’.
While many claim to have had a positive experience at one of the fourteen U.S. centers, others have described it as “a voluntary prison sentence” and accused teachers of “irresponsible behavior bordering on malpractice.”
Experts warn that those in attendance are starving, no food is allowed after 11 a.m., and they are deprived of sleep; wake up at 4 am every day for meditation.
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 6 Above is an image of what a room looks like in a Vipassana retreat center in California. The centers have a long waiting list](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpeg)
Above is an image of what a room looks like in a Vipassana retreat center in California. The centers have a long waiting list
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 8 Above you see the dining room in the same Vipassana center](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016588_612_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
Above you see the dining room in the same Vipassana center
But rumors still persist that waiting lists are long and that visitors will not have to pay a fee for the experience. Locations are instead kept open through donations.
Many cases of psychosis linked to the intensive meditative therapy promoted by the centers have now come to light, including many hospital admissions.
Madison Marriage, a journalist who investigated the centers for the Financial times, revealed: ‘I’ve now interviewed dozens of people who have done these retreats and had the complete negative reaction. It’s almost like jumping off a cliff when it comes to their mental health.
‘Psychosis is very common.
‘That includes hallucinations, physical pain, like electric zaps going through their body.
‘The big one is terror, despicable terror.
She added NPR: ‘I got an email from someone this week saying, “Thanks for doing this podcast because I thought I was alone.” And he said he would rather see his own arm cut off than go back into that mental space.”
Studies suggest that meditation can help alleviate mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders and phobias.
But psychologists say being left alone with your thoughts for hours can, paradoxically, cause serious mental illness in a small number of vulnerable people.
But experts fear these dangers are being largely overshadowed by a celebrity-fueled ‘mindfulness hype’.
Dr. Miguel Farias, a psychologist and researcher in Britain, previously told DailyMail.com: ‘For about five percent of people, these practices have a paradoxical effect.
‘It makes them much more anxious, causes panic attacks and even psychosis.’
He added: ‘Many people have childhood trauma or underlying mental health issues that may have gone undiagnosed.
“Forced to sit alone with your thoughts brings back dark memories they can’t deal with.”
Before the retreat, Ms. McDermott had traveled across Canada in a converted RV and posted about her life on Facebook.
She worked planting trees on a farm in British Columbia, but signed up for the retreat in October 2022.
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 10 Ms McDermott was described as a 'free spirit' before her experience at the Vipassana retreat](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016591_444_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
Ms McDermott was described as a ‘free spirit’ before her experience at the Vipassana retreat
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 12 Ms McDermott's mother, Nathalie St-Maurice, runs a website dedicated to her memory](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016593_1_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
Ms McDermott’s mother, Nathalie St-Maurice, runs a website dedicated to her memory
On the ninth day of the retreat she disappeared. Her van and belongings were eventually found 30 miles from downtown and appeared to have been dumped after running out of gas.
A police report shows that she suffered from emotional episodes shortly before her death.
“Jacqueline seemed ashamed of something she had done previously,” the report said, “but did not reveal what it was.”
“However, Jacqueline showed no signs of suicidal ideation or self-harm,” it added.
![The dark side of meditation is retreating: two Americans commit suicide after being driven into psychosis by eleven days of silence 14 Ms Vogt, pictured above with her then-boyfriend, committed suicide ten days after visiting a Vipassana centre](https://nybreaking.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/1712016595_639_The-dark-side-of-meditation-is-retreating-two-Americans-commit.jpg)
Ms Vogt, pictured above with her then-boyfriend, committed suicide ten days after visiting a Vipassana centre
Her mother Nathalie St-Maurice revealed how her daughter was excited about the retreat, saying she “thought this was what she had to do to get to that next… spiritual level or whatever.”
“She had been meditating daily for a few years. She found it really helped calm her down.”
She says she is “still shaking” over the response to the retreat after her daughter’s death, as she believes the keys to her car should have been hidden from her.
When participants arrive at Vipassana retreats, their cell phones and keys are taken away.
They are then also sent to ‘Spartan-style’ accommodation – either with another participant or alone. All communication with others is prohibited.
People are also given a completely vegan diet, which is often only half the amount of calories they normally consume during the day.
Classes are still taught using videos by Vipassana leader Goenka, who passed away in 2013.
Ms Vogt’s parents said she seemed ‘cheerful’ before taking the course.
But they said after the 10 days the center was called asking them to come pick up their daughter and saying she was ‘confused’.
On the way home, she attempted suicide – attempting to jump from the moving vehicle. Her father, who was following in a car, saw the doors of his wife’s car fly open on the highway.
Ms Vogt was then admitted to a hospital’s mental health department, where she stayed for over a week.
She was discharged with a prescription for psychiatric medication, but there were still signs of confusion, with Ms. Vogt withdrawing from social events or getting lost on her way to a relative’s home.
PennLive reported that she told her parents that she started having problems on day seven of the retreat, and that she didn’t know who she was or why she was there.
But there was no call for intervention.
Instead, Ms. Vogt had to meditate at the center for three more days, under the supervision of a volunteer.
Tragically, the young woman jumped to her death within ten weeks of returning home from the retreat.