Mum’s fateful decision three months before she was told she had cancer – and how it has left her four children struggling to cope

A single mother who died of brain cancer had to make a difficult decision that will have a lasting impact on her four children.

Teressa Gates’ world from Anglesea, Victoria revolved around her children, Amber, Ebony, Jade and Zac.

Teressa died in May at the age of 49.

“Think of me because I am a mother, and that is what I am most proud of,” Teresa said in one of her last posts.

‘Live well, laugh a lot and think of how much fun I had with my horses and with your children.’

When Simon, her childhood sweetheart and father of her children, died of a heart attack about ten years ago, Teressa wanted to make sure the children would be taken care of in case anything happened to her.

She kept her life insurance current, but then Covid hit, work slowed and the bills kept mounting.

Teresa simply could no longer afford the life insurance.

She tried to talk to the insurance company to see if they could reduce the cost, but to no avail. Teressa was reluctantly forced to cancel the policy.

Teressa’s brother Jordan told Daily Mail Australia: ‘Teressa said we had gotten to a point where she just couldn’t afford it anymore.

And she says, “Well, I’ve been fine for the past 49 years. I’m going to be fine.”

She said, “I’ll take out the insurance again in a few years.”

Just three months after canceling her life insurance policy, Teresa was diagnosed with lung cancer and told she had only a few months to live.

Jordan remembers her saying, “Well, that’s not happening. I’ve got kids to take care of, so we’re going to do everything we can here.”

Radiation and chemotherapy followed and Teresa’s health began to improve.

Then they found cancerous lesions in her brain.

Jordan said Teresa wanted chemo, radiation, everything, because she wanted to beat the disease for her children, just like she beat lung cancer.

“She did everything she could get.”

Jordan said at some point they stopped the radiation.

‘They told her, ‘Look, your body can’t take it anymore, and basically it’s just going to kill you.’

“So Teresa said, ‘Well, I’m dead anyway. So the radiation might work. So why don’t we do it?’

“She had a bit of a fight with the hospital over the last few months, and eventually they said, ‘You know, you’re right, you’re going to die anyway. So I might as well do it.’

Teresa died on May 18.

“She actually stopped by the house where she had palliative home care because she didn’t want to die in the hospital,” Jordan said, her voice ringing with emotion.

“She wanted to be with her family, her kids and all her stuff.”

Teressa’s funeral, which was attended by more than 150 people, was emotional and hilarious at the same time.

“My sister was kind of funny,” Jordan said.

She chose one of her favorite songs by Kasey Chambers: ‘We’re all going to die someday’.

“That was her last song, and it put a big smile on everyone’s face and we all had a good laugh.”

Jordan was overwhelmed by the way the local community came together for the funeral.

He said that although Teressa had arranged the funeral, the local Lions Club provided food and drink at her favorite pub and the support from the local Baptist Church had been wonderful.

“The community should be commended for what they’ve done and what they do for people. It’s a great little town.”

The timing wasn’t ideal: Teressa’s eldest daughter Jade turned 21 just two days after her mother’s funeral.

All she wanted for her birthday was her mother back.

According to Jordan, Teressa was terrified that her children would be orphaned.

“Unfortunately, that’s what happened, and I just know that that would have hurt her a lot.”

The new reality for Jade is that she is now not only Ebony and Amber’s big sister, but also their mother.

The three girls live together in a house.

As Jade’s Uncle Jordan said, “They’re sisters, but still not her kids.” So it’s very, very difficult for Jade to be a friend and a parent at the same time.’

Jordan said he is proud of Jade and how well she is handling this totally unimaginable situation.

“She’s been thrown in at the deep end. She’s a young parent with teenagers,” he said.

“She has done her best and is just making sure the girls get what they need.”

The family is doing everything they can to provide support.

“I just tell her, if you want to ask me, or if you need help with anything, just call. And I’m glad she does,” Jordan said.

In addition to her new role in life, Jade is also studying.

Jordan said Jade “has a business mind” and is in the process of setting up a small business.

Although the girls receive as much support as possible from the family in every possible way, times are very tough.

Jordan’s partner Tegan said Teresa did everything she could before her death to ensure the girls were okay, but the realities of life set in and the costs quickly add up.

Jordan and Tegan said Jade will be getting government support and that they have been great, but it will take a while for it to come through.

It’s the everyday things.

The rent, the household appliances go out, there are school uniforms, shoes, all the usual expenses of a young family.

“Amber only has one sweater that she washes every few days,” Tegan said.

“They just hit a kangaroo in the car Teressa left behind too. So we still have to work on that.’

To help the girls kickstart the new life they’ve entered, Jordan and Tegan have created a… GoFundMe page.

They said any extra money will be put into a trust fund to help the young family.

Jordan said his sister was a wonderful person and that she only had one dying wish.

‘Teressa was an absolutely loving mother. She would have done anything for her children and anything for anyone.

‘Teressa’s dying wish was for people to be there for her children in whatever way they could.

‘She said, ‘Please make sure my babies are okay.'”

Teressa’s last words to her children were, “I love you all so much, to the moon and back and all over the universe. I’m so sorry I’m leaving too soon.”