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An intimacy expert shares her 10 sex tips to save your relationship and ‘kick-start’ your libido, and it all starts with ‘communication’.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Britney Blair, from Stanford University School of Medicine in the US, says that following her advice could improve your long-term relationship and resolve problems in the bedroom.
For more sexual wellness tips from Dr. Blair, people can visit the Lover app, which describes itself as “a personal coach for your sex life.”
Lover offers guidance through audio and video content and provides exercise techniques for millions of people around the world developed by Dr. Blair with a team of sexual medicine experts.
Along with two other co-founders, Jas Bagniewski and Nick Pendle, Dr. Blair manages the app and serves as chief scientific officer. She specializes in sexual health and is the founder of the largest group of independent sexual health clinics in Northern California.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Britney Blair, from Stanford University School of Medicine, shares her professional advice on how to improve sex and relationships.
Lover co-founders (from left): Jas Bagniewski, Dr. Britney Blair and Nick Pendle
Dr. Blair has drawn on over a decade of clinical experience to create these top ten sex tips. which are the key to keeping couples together.
Communication
‘Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. You are not a mind reader, and neither is your partner. Make communication about your relationship and your sex life a regular practice.
“If you want to talk about something vulnerable, like something that’s not going so well or something you want more of, consider having that conversation while driving or hiking. It’s easier to be vulnerable when you don’t make eye contact.’
Be spontaneous with your partner.
‘Don’t wait until you want to. It is normal for ‘spontaneous’ desire/libido to subside after six to 12 months in a monogamous relationship for both men and women.
“However, by choosing to be erotically involved with your partner, you can actually ‘boost’ your sexual desire.”
Prioritize pleasure
‘Reduce the pressure on sexual performance (eg getting an erection or having an orgasm) and really focus on pleasuring yourself and your partner… whatever that sounds like to you!’
schedule sex
‘Clinical research suggests that sex twice a week is correlated with the highest relationship and life satisfaction. but life willpower hinder.
“As unsexy as it may seem, scheduling time to connect erotically with your partner will send the signal that you’re both prioritizing this aspect of your relationship, build sexy anticipation, and pay off big with increased relationship satisfaction.”
Focus on the attitude of gratitude.
Too often in relationships, we focus on what’s not going well. Criticism can break your connection (and it’s definitely NOT sexy). Notice and then express gratitude for the things your partner is doing for you or the relationship. This expression has to be sincere AND specific.
Dr. Blair says that the key to a healthy relationship is communication; she advised that for vulnerable topics, it is better to have the conversation without eye contact (stock image)
Encourage hobbies and independent relationships.
Encourage hobbies, activities, relationships outside of your society. A healthy level of independence is crucial to navigating a long-term relationship. Each couple will differ in the amount of closeness or distance desired, so don’t take it personally!
Browse differences
“Every successful relationship depends on the couple’s ability to navigate differences. Communication and commitment are key, but both partners must communicate and engage. If this falls to one side, resentment may develop.’
touch each other
‘Hold hands. Make out. Don’t fall into the touch routine! Have moments where you agree that you are just going to kiss him and nothing more sexual will happen.
Spend quality time together
‘Spend quality time together… without involving any sexual activity.
‘Make sure you have uninterrupted time, no phones, TV, kids, work talk, financial talk, critical talk, time together every week. Even if it’s for 15 minutes.’
Create a sacred sanctuary in the bedroom.
‘Make sure your bedroom is a place associated with calm and desire. Think about lighting, textures, colors that facilitate calm and sensuality. Think more soft music and candlelight and fewer pizza boxes, unpaid bills, commutes of doom, and dirty laundry.
‘Avoid arguing in the bedroom, if possible. This space should be considered sacred for sex or sleep.
A fundamental part of increasing desire in the bedroom is to make it a place associated with calm, according to the intimacy expert