A teacher-turned-writer who has published a book about having an open marriage says society views mothers as “non-sexual beings.”
Molly Roden Winter, 51, whose new book, More: A Memoir of Open Marriage, details her non-monogamous relationship with composer husband of 24 years, Stewart, 56 – and how she had her first sexual relationship with another man nine years after the couple married.
The couple is criticized in the US far-right, who claim their choices are immoral and harmful to their two sons, now 19 and 21.
In an interview with The timesRoden Winter argues that this disapproval stems from the idea that mothers are expected to be selfless and ‘not allowed to be sexual beings’.
The English teacher, who grew up in the Chicago suburb of Evanston, began an open relationship nine years after her marriage after flirting with a friend of a friend named Matt at a bar.
Former teacher Molly Roden Winter, 51, has published a novel about her open marriage
However, prior to their marriage, Stewart had given Roden Winter the freedom to associate with other men she found attractive – provided she remained honest with him.
The 51-year-old’s mother also had consensual relationships outside her marriage, assuring her daughter: “You can love someone else and it won’t ruin your marriage, it could actually enrich it.”
The book, which details the couple’s venture into polyamory, has sparked a debate about whether long-term monogamy and sexual fulfillment can work well together.
Meanwhile, far-right critics claim her choices are immoral and harmful to her two sons, now 19 and 21, but Roden Winter argues this disapproval stems from the idea that mothers are expected to be selfless.
‘We expect mothers to be selfless. And ‘selfless’ is often seen as the opposite of selfish, but I want to make it a new word: ‘smug,'” the author said.
“You should have a complete self, you shouldn’t give up yourself to be a mother. I don’t think that helps children either.’
Roden Winter’s eldest son was 13 when he accidentally discovered his father’s dating profile on the family computer, immediately causing him to suspect infidelity.
The English teacher has been happily married to 56-year-old Stewart for 24 years
The new book, titled More: A Memoir of Open Marriage, details her non-monogamous marriage
The teacher explained to him that their marriage was stable and loving, but they allowed each other to pursue other romantic relationships.
She also emphasized that her children fully support the couple’s decision to become polyamorous — and that they have even read the book.
The 51-year-old expressed her desire to raise sons who could understand and appreciate that mothers are individuals with the same desires as anyone else.
While she acknowledged that polyamory may not be for everyone, Roden Winter suggested that all couples could benefit from offering their partners space for self-development.
She emphasized the importance of sexual liberation and emphasized the power of flirting, saying, “Feeling sexually free goes a long way.”
The author, who has been dubbed “the new polyamory poster girl,” has a long-term restauranteur boyfriend, who has a wife, who also has a girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Stewart is seeing multiple women to satisfy his pleasure of first dates, and has a girlfriend of eight years.
The couple insist their marriage is solid and claim their sex life has improved significantly thanks to being in an open relationship.