TALK OF THE TOWN: Kate Moss’s toyboy flogs topless photos of her (but it’s OK, it’s fashion!)

The on-again, off-again relationship between Kate Moss and her toyboy photographer Count Nikolai von Bismarck is remarkably erratic, but could also prove lucrative.

The supermodel’s partner makes money from their eight-year romance by selling T-shirts featuring her topless.

Although she is notorious for her sheer outfits at parties or on the runway, this is the first time the 50-year-old has posed half-naked for a photoshoot.

Nikolai, 37, took the grainy photo while they were on vacation, showing Kate lying by the pool with one strap of her leopard-print playsuit pulled down, exposing her left breast.

Nikolai had the provocative image printed on the front of a white T-shirt, which is now available to buy for £60 on his fashion brand Tarantula’s website.

The tops went on sale in June, a month after Kate sparked rumors that she and Nikolai had split when she was spotted holding hands with Skip, the grandson of reggae legend Bob Marley, 27. Hours later, she sat next to Nikolai at a fashion show in London, but she continued to give him the cold shoulder all evening.

But the pair always find their way back to each other. A source said: ‘They are constantly on and off, but both are very bohemian when it comes to hook-ups.’

A friend of Kate’s added: ‘She’s a passionate person and very flirtatious. Whether it’s Nikolai or whoever, they just have to accept it.’

Katie is a carnival heroine

Tatler model Katie Readman came to the rescue during last weekend’s Notting Hill Carnival when an open-top bus crashed into the low-hanging branches of a tree outside her Westbourne Grove home, showering passers-by with broken glass.

The society darling took the irritated driver and two of his friends into his home and let them stay overnight until their bus could be towed away. A source tells me: ‘She was a hero of the hour and really comforted them.’

A stable income for racing sport Flora

Racing expert Flora Gibbs has always been a bit of a clothes horse. Now fans of the 26-year-old ITV presenter can buy her hand-me-downs, because she has a side job selling her designer clothes on resale site Depop.

Flora (left), who is in a relationship with the Duke of Rutland’s heir Charles Manners, has put several items up for sale, including a funky purple faux snakeskin jacket and a yellow and blue mottled coat by Joules. Both are yours for just £30.

Aristotle has always had a soft spot for ladies who don’t wear bling!

Lucien’s confrontation with humiliation

As the charming Alfie, British star Lucien Laviscount is the perfect love interest for Lily Collins’ title character in Emily In Paris.

However, the 31-year-old heartthrob isn’t always so charming at work, as he revealed the humiliation he endured while filming Shakira and Cardi B’s Punteria music video.

In it, he plays a centaur, thanks to computer wizardry, but it took some doing. “I was wearing blue Lycra pants with orange polka dots that kept falling off, with a broomstick stuck to my ass,” he said. “I caught sight of myself in one of the mirrors. I thought, ‘Smooth, bro. Smooth.’ It wasn’t a sexy day for me.”

However, Shakira disagrees with this, as the two are now reportedly in a relationship.

Alicia wants the joy of six!

What if Hollywood star Alicia Vikander has more on her plate than she can handle Tudor? After playing Henry VIII’s sixth wife, Catherine Parr, in last year’s Firebrand, the 35-year-old, in and out of costume, is set to take part in West End musical Six, a modern take on the story of Henry’s wives.

“I’ve been watching a lot of YouTube clips,” she said. “Do I want to play one of the women again? Maybe in the musical. Maybe I’ll be a part of that.”

Bobbie’s film tests the patience of a saint

All Saints star Nicole Appleton is preparing for the premiere of Robbie Williams’ biopic Better Man next week.

The couple started a relationship in the 1990s, during which Nicole had an abortion under pressure from her record company.

A source said: ‘Nicole was an important part of Robbie’s life and director Michael Gracey has promised that audiences will find out how Robbie was affected by sex, drugs and women at the height of his fame. This may be uncomfortable to watch for Nicole.’

Minnie surfs to success

She played the sassy Lorraine on the hit TV sitcom Will And Grace, set in the big corporate world of New York. So I was surprised to learn that it was Minnie Driver’s love of catching a wave on her surfboard that landed her the role.

Producer Jeff Greenstein revealed that the actress, now 54, “grabbed her by the side and made a face” during her audition.

He asked, “Surfing injury?” to which Minnie said yes. Jeff has now told her that he’s come to the conclusion that she’s “a lot more complicated than we thought… and that’s why we needed you.”

Joe Wicks’ dark locks have helped him become the most handsome gym teacher in the country, but the 38-year-old is looking forward to losing them.

“I’d like to be a silver fox,” he says. “I’ve got a few gray hairs on my back, but I’m still happy. I think it’s pretty, it shows maturity. I’m not one to dye my beard – I’m more natural. Once I start going bald, I’ll shave it off and then I don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Dominic West may have blown his chances of a knighthood when he played the future King Charles in The Crown… but that hasn’t stopped him from taking the role.

Last weekend I saw the 54-year-old man brandishing a shield and sword, ready to take on some “terrifying Vikings” at Glin Castle in County Limerick.

The castle, owned by West’s wife Catherine, was hosting an open day to benefit the village development fund, and Dominic was happy to join the ranks of the ‘Norman’ soldiers who went to war.

The Garrick Club opened its doors to women this year, but Kathy Lette has already declined the invitation to join.

The 65-year-old Australian writer told me during a screening of A Night With Janis Joplin that Stephen Fry wanted to nominate her, but she declined.

“I said I don’t think they’d want me,” she confessed. “I didn’t think they’d like me swinging from the chandelier, I don’t think I’d fit in there.”

In July, actresses Judi Dench and Sian Phillips became the first women to join the prestigious London club in its 193-year history.

Coldplay’s Chris Martin says his love of music came from hearing his father play Michael Jackson’s Smooth Criminal every day on the school run, with the lyrics “Annie, are you OK?”

“He said, ‘He never gives her a chance to answer!’” Chris recalled.