A wedding planner has sparked debate after revealing a bride had sent a ‘missed RSVP’ card to her guests.
Nishma Mistry, 39, from Britain, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make Asian wedding planning easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a ‘missed RSVP card’ .
The card reads: ‘Missed RSVP. We’re sorry you can’t come to our wedding. Our RSVP has been sent and unfortunately you have not responded.
‘We would have liked to have you there, but the final figures have now been received and your presence will be missed, Bride & Groom’.
The post sparked heated debate, with some people saying it was “tacky,” “rude” and “passive-aggressive,” while others said it was just the bride and groom defining their boundaries, while some called it “genius.”
In a follow-up video, Nishma explained, “I posted this this weekend and it has caused quite a discussion.
“Some people say it’s passive-aggressive, other people say it’s downright rude. Some people have said it’s tasteless.
‘I really appreciate all these opinions. Some people have said that it’s not that hard to just call your guests and see if they’re actually coming, and all of these opinions are completely true.
“The tricky thing is if you’re planning a big wedding, or a South Asian wedding where you have three to five events spread out over a week, sometimes a couple of weeks.
“Usually you’re dealing with 300-500 guests.”
Nishma added that RSVPing is a “new concept” within South Asian communities, meaning people simply “forget” to respond.
“As harsh as this sounds, and there are easier ways to put it, if someone gets this, they wouldn’t forget to report next time.”
Nishma Mistry, 39, from Britain, who runs Asian Bride Sorority, a support group designed to make Asian wedding planning easier for brides, took to TikTok on Sunday to share a ‘missed RSVP card’
The card reads: ‘Missed RSVP. We’re sorry you can’t come to our wedding. Our RSVP has been sent and unfortunately you have not responded. It has caused a lot of discussion
However, people were still torn, with some praising it as “genius.”
‘No. “I personally called all my guests who didn’t register the last day before I had to make headcount notifications to the caterer and venue,” one person said.
“This needs to be rephrased so as not to sound passive-aggressive. Is the idea to say you’re going to miss them or that they missed the deadline?’ added another.
‘That is genius. “I literally called people the week before my deadline to get numbers and several people said ‘yes, we’re coming’ over the phone and then never showed up,” a third wrote.
‘Call to check. ESPECIALLY because things get lost in the mail or things get missed on social media because they rely on algorithms or just technology in general,” said another.
“It’s not that hard to respond either,” one noted.
Some people said the card was “tacky,” while others called it “genius.”
‘No! Between texts, calls, email, FB and FB messenger, you can just tell if they are coming. What if the RSVP is lost?’ said another.
“I think if they changed the wording from ‘unfortunately you didn’t respond’ to ‘unfortunately we didn’t receive a response’ it would go more smoothly,” one person said.
“People who are angry at boundaries are the ones who cross them,” another noted.
“If I forgot to respond and the bride called me to check, I would be mortified,” one person wrote.
“People complaining clearly haven’t planned an event that you have to pay per head for,” said one.
“Dinners aren’t cheap, and I think the person who received the invite would have the decency to reply knowing how expensive weddings are,” said another.
“I approve the message, but I would have done it verbally and called or emailed people a week before the deadline and given them one last warning.”