A Swedish woman recently discovered a surprising connection between her home country and Australia – and the revelation has left many confused.
A traveler recently asked Australians how to make friends as adults Down Under, after noticing that Australian expats were struggling to find friends in Sweden.
She described the ‘Swedish social mentality’ as an unwelcoming atmosphere in which it is difficult for people to form new circles of friends outside school and university.
‘How do people make friends in Australia?’ she asked on Reddit. ‘I’ve read several reports about Australians moving to Sweden, and others who live or have lived here don’t recommend it because it’s hard to make (non-expat) friends.’
Australians and expats alike have complained about how difficult it is to expand their social circles – with one calling Perth a ‘lonely city’ and another traveler labeling all Aussies as ‘flaky’ and unreliable.
Australians and expats have complained about how difficult it is to expand their social circles
‘Most people [in Sweden] form their circle during school years, at the latest during the university years, and if you fail to form a circle of friends during those years, then you are out of luck.’
She added: “I can sympathize, I myself am in the category that largely missed out on that opportunity. It’s not impossible to make friends if you’re missing out, but much, much harder.
‘I’m curious: how do people make friends in Australia? Are people largely open to making new friends throughout their lives, beyond their formative years, or how does that work? How is it different?’
A few shared their thoughts on the issue, with one providing insight into the situation.
“Starting from scratch can be difficult no matter where you are,” said one. ‘And the contrast would be especially visible if you already have a significant social network in the place you leave behind.’
Others claimed that there were specific ‘phases’ when it is easier to make friends.
‘There are different phases in your life when you can easily expand your circle of friends. I’m in my mid-sixties and can identify them: school, university, work, parents from your child’s school and social groups from clubs.’
Many Perth residents agree they are ‘insular’ and ‘cliquey’ (stock image)
Another advised: “It’s best to work with other foreigners or people who have recently moved cities.”
“I think the job you have makes a difference,” one woman said. ‘I’m a doctor and have worked with so many different people in hospitals that I’ve made some long-lasting friendships as an adult. We also bond over shared difficult experiences.”
One offered a bleak view of Australians and friends.
‘Honestly, no [make friends]. We are not friendly people, we cancel plans at a moment’s notice and don’t invite anyone over twenty into our circles. We say “hello, how are you” to the cashier, but never ask our friends if they are happy.
“Then we just let each friend drift away until it’s just us, our partner, and our dog. Our social life then consists of dreaded family events and a strong desire to live as isolated as possible in between.’