Siobhan Donaghy has discussed her battle with crippling anxiety and panic attacks, admitting she believes the trauma has “taken years” off her life expectancy.
The 38-year-old singer rose to fame with the Sugababes in the 1990s, but suffered from stage fright so intense that she became physically ill at the thought of acting.
After leaving the group in 2001, she welcomed two children, a son Ford, five, and a daughter, Vivienne, two, and has credited motherhood with helping ease her anxiety about performing.
Speaking on the Spinning Plates podcast, she revealed that having her second child completely changed her perspective and, for the first time, she was “shocked” to find herself wanting to get back into acting.
The Sugababes have since reformed with the original lineup and Siobhan will join Keisha Buchanan and Mutya Buena on tour this year.
Candid: Siobhan Donaghy has discussed her battle with crippling anxiety and panic attacks and admits she believes the trauma has “taken years” off her life expectancy
Siobhan revealed: ‘I used to have terrible stage fright, and I thought I would feel that way. But I haven’t felt like this since I became a mom.
‘I just think none of it matters much anymore. I just think my kids matter more and that’s the really important thing I need to get right.
‘If I play a vague note, or maybe fall onstage, it doesn’t really matter.
“In fact, I feel like I don’t have the mental space to take it as seriously as I used to. It has to be more cheerful or my brain could explode. Oh, thank God, it’s so nice.
I’m in my own world up there. For me it’s like going out at night: I’m going to sing, I’m going to dance and then I’m going to go home.’
She went on to note: ‘It’s good to show myself that I still have it in me. It’s so ridiculous to me that I just don’t get nervous, it’s charming.
“It’s literally like black and white: me then to me now. I just don’t want to feel like this ever again.
“That level of stage fright that I used to experience, I really think it took years off my life. I feel like cortisol would run through my body.
“From the moment I found out that I would be doing the show, and that can be months in advance, I was stressing out all the time. I would be sick.
“Looking back, I was actually having full-blown panic attacks sometimes, maybe for every show, and I still went out.
Now I realize it wasn’t normal stage fright. It’s the palpitations of the heart, it’s your breathing. I don’t know how I didn’t faint.
Acting: The 38-year-old singer rose to fame with the Sugababes in the 1990s, but suffered from stage fright so intense that she became physically ill at the thought of performing (pictured August)
Siobhan left the band suddenly in 2001 after calling bandmate Kesha a ‘bully’ and later revealed that she had been diagnosed with clinical depression.
With things more resolved now, Siobhan also credited “the most relaxed dynamic is between the three of us,” helping her stage fright.
She explained: ‘Back then I was nervous, Keisha was nervous and Mutya was nervous. As teenagers, they don’t recognize this in each other: that when they’re nervous, they get into themselves and can seem like they’re in a bad mood.
‘Whereas now we are very good at communicating with each other. We look into each other’s eyes on stage. If someone is having a little moment, or if they need to sing the part of it, we can quickly do it for each other.
“So to have that support network on stage now is amazing.
‘Keish is a true leader in that. I always feel like she has our back on stage. Vocally and sonically we refer to it to make sure it’s correct. It’s just another weight off my shoulders, I love it.
He went on to reveal that while he no longer has stage fright, he still has issues with his mental health.
Siobhan explained: “Now I realize in retrospect, because I’m someone who probably has general anxiety anyway, looking back, I was actually having full-blown panic attacks at times.”
“Interestingly, I started having panic attacks after having my daughter when she was breastfeeding. I could be sitting there having a beautiful day and the chest pains I would experience were really intense.’
Mom: After leaving the group in 2001, she welcomed two children, a son Ford, five, and a daughter, Vivienne, two, and credits motherhood with helping ease her anxiety (pictured, with the newborn Ford)
She was so worried that she went to the ER convinced she was having a heart attack, and even after doctors assured her it was a panic attack, she feared she had been “misdiagnosed.”
The Sugababes originally formed in 1998, but they went through numerous line-up changes over the years with the original three members eventually being replaced.
When Siobhan left in 2001, she was replaced by Heidi Range, Mutya left in 2005 and was replaced by Amelle Berrabah, and Keisha was replaced by Jade Ewan when she left in 2009.
The replacement members stopped making music in 2011.
But back as the Sugababes now, Mutya, Keisha and Siobhán took to Glastonbury’s Avalon stage last year, wowing fans as they performed classics like Round Round.
The performance was so successful that festival security was forced to close the field due to the large number of people who gathered to watch it.
Back and forth: The Sugababes originally formed in 1998, but they went through numerous line-up changes over the years with the original three members eventually being replaced (pictured in 2001)