What I’m about to say might make you angry and defensive, but listen: I’m right.
If you go to a compelling play like Emursive Productions’ as a couple No more sleeping or their new show Life and trustI want you to stop holding hands during the show. Just stop it.
If you’re not familiar with these plays, they take place in huge sets that span multiple floors. The action flows through the space, with actors constantly in character as they move from scene to scene — with multiple scenes happening simultaneously. You, the audience, can choose where to go at any given moment. You can explore the set or follow a specific character throughout the play. No more sleepingyou can just sit in the bar and listen to lounge music! The choice is yours.
The important thing is that if you go with a group of friends, or yes, even with a partner, you can experience the show completely differently. You could even say that this is the intention.
But every time I go to one of these shows, without fail, there are multiple couples holding hands the entire time. They run up and down spiral staircases holding hands. They move hand in hand through dark, maze-like narrow hallways. They try to chase actors while they are tied together as if they are in a finger trap.
It’s very annoying.
First of all, this is purely a logistical issue. When you’re holding hands with someone, you’re slower. That’s just what you do. And that means you’re in the way and holding up anyone who’s trying to follow the actor you’re following. That’s rude.
Also, by being codependent and forcing yourself to have the same experience of the show, you water it down. I saw Life and trust with a group of six people. We went in together, but split up at the beginning of the show. I bumped into my friends a few times during the evening, but honestly the room was So huge that I hardly saw them. That was because, listen, we made different choices.
I’m probably projecting here, but the hand-holding experience seems incredibly frustrating to me. What if you and your partner want to follow different actors as they leave a scene, or explore a different floor of the set? Who gets to make that decision, and how do you feel comfortable doing that when you’re in a room where talking is forbidden?
Bee Life and trustI chose to follow specific characters throughout the night, thinking that this would take me through most, if not all, of the rooms and would be a good way to experience the plot.
But my friend Tara Burton, an author with years of experience attending and critiquing immersive theatre — chose to explore the set instead. She spent the night playing detective, opening drawers and reading documents. We were both free to do whatever we wanted, and I can’t imagine how annoyed she would have been if I had dragged her from floor to floor in search of a charismatic performer. Conversely, I really enjoyed hearing about the information she found in our post-show chat, but I didn’t go to Life and trust to read letters. (I went to Life and trust (to sprint up and down six flights of stairs and sweat really hard.)
When my group got back together after the show to talk about it, I heard about scenes and characters I had completely missed. And while I did wish I had seen two sweaty men have a homoerotic fight in a boxing ring, I didn’t know it existedMy friends were pretty jealous that I had a one-on-one situation with an actor who tied my hands with a rope, in a scene that was part Cats’ Cradle, part Shibari.
We were excited to share stories about what had just happened to us and talk about the differences in our experiences. That’s fun! Would it have been cool to watch those scenes with my friends? I think so, but I honestly don’t care! If we had stayed together, we would have been all would have missed large parts of the play, because the play is simply too big to watch in one go.
If you just must together all the time, you could still keep up with each other without the added burden of blocking a stairwell by walking two by two. A discreet sleeve tug could let your partner know you wanted to move on to another scene, right? In the larger rooms, you could even sit next to your partner and quietly put your hand in his, in the dark, while watching a scene. Wouldn’t that be fun? While standing still?
That’s the compromise I propose, but honestly, do yourself a favor: go to the show alone.
I enjoy the debriefing after a regular sit-down play or movie as much as the next person. But immersive theater is not a sit-down play. It’s an experience you have to pursue on your own. And I’d rather smash my own kneecaps with a baseball bat than be forced to everyone to the whims or desires of others when I watch an interactive play.
Let go of your partner’s hand and dare to experience a different show. You will still be able to bond over it, I promise.