Stalking widows online saved my marriage: It may sound ghoulish, but their unfathomable grief makes me love my husband more. Now experts reveal WHY some of us have this strange obsession

When I hear the front door click open, my heart skips a beat as I welcome my husband home from work with a grateful hug and a passionate kiss.

I have to admit, after ten years of marriage, four kids, and a Sheepadoodle, I thought the honeymoon period of our relationship was long over.

But recently I discovered something new – or should I say someone new – and unexpectedly it has given me my wedding mojo back.

No, it’s not an affair, or a subscription to a ripped reality star on OnlyFans. And we didn’t do couples therapy or engage in tantric sex.

The person responsible for my new life is actually a complete stranger: an American mother of two, who lost her own husband in a tragic accident.

Like other popular influencers on Instagram who inspire you to declutter your home, reorganize your pantry or dress your kids in beige, young widows have carved out a large niche on social media, some with hundreds of thousands of followers.

As somatic therapist and relationship expert Georgia Grace explains, observing widows online can have a similar cathartic effect as watching an emotional movie or reading a book.

“But unlike a movie that has an ending, you have a constant point of contact to keep following the story,” she says.

“It allows you to put things into perspective and feel more compassion and empathy in your own life,” Georgia adds.

“Death is terrifying and the thing people fear most.”

Georgia says that because we know we will lose our loved ones at some point – or they will lose us – seeing it happen to others can help us process those difficult thoughts.

“For the widows, telling stories is a big part of the healing process and it also helps them to be able to share this with others,” she tells me.

‘It’s called narrative transport, when telling stories stimulates your senses and makes you feel emotions.

“We are human and connected and that empathy is completely normal.”

It was actually my best friend Grace who asked me about a year ago if I followed her “favorite widow.” At first I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the thought of it.

Young mother Julie, she explained, was in deep grief after her soulmate and the father of their two children died in a road accident.

After ten years of marriage, four children and a Sheepadoodle, Jonica Bray (pictured) thought her relationship’s honeymoon period was long over – until she discovered widow influencers

It sounded horrible, and a bit morbid, to watch her life crumble from a distance.

“You should go see her, she’s amazing and it makes me feel much more grateful for what we have,” she told me, rather seriously.

Since then, we often talk about Julie’s life as if she were one of our good friends.

Julie went by the name ‘Spilled Milk Mamma’ on Instagram and lost her husband Charles in a car accident just weeks after giving birth to their second child.

Her courage and resilience as she navigates life after such unfathomable loss is simply inspiring, and I am constantly in awe and wondering how I would fare in a similar situation.

I can’t bear to think about that too often, and when my husband comes in, I’m so grateful that he does.

It turns out that we follow widows not out of morbid curiosity, but because we admire how they find strength in the face of such unimaginable tragedy.

There are others that I have also started following.

Some have turned their experiences into self-help books and seminars for other widows, and some, I think, just enjoy confiding in people, even if they are strangers online. Maybe it’s because they’re strangers.

And when Julie found love again, I couldn’t text Grace fast enough to see what she thought of the new guy, Shawn.

“She’s got a type,” Grace replied, noting the striking similarities between her late husband and her new boyfriend, to whom she is now married.

We are both emotionally invested and cheering on her happy ending from a distance.

I get it. It sounds a little weird and maybe a little stalkerish, but honestly, following widows on social media has made my marriage happier.

Of course it’s not perfect and we still have our ups and downs, but these days I actively try not to sweat the small stuff because of the women who are no longer allowed to complain.