A Hispanic mom living in the US has highlighted the differences in parenting between the two countries, saying that Americans are more child-oriented and socialize less.
Ana Gildersleeve was born and raised in Valencia, Spain, but now lives in Kansas with her American husband, who is a college football coach. The couple, who fell in love while studying abroad in the US, previously lived in New York and Ohio.
The mother of two documents her life and the cultural differences between Spain and the US on TikTok, where she @_anagildersleeve account has over 215,000 followers.
Gildersleeve recently went viral after sharing her experiences living abroad with kids, saying, “I think being a parent in the US is much more boring and isolating than it is in Spain.”
Ana Gildersleeve, who grew up in Spain and now lives in the US, went viral after sharing the parenting differences between the two countries
Gildersleeve was born and raised in Valencia, Spain, but now lives in Kansas with her American husband, who is a college football coach
The mother of two documents her life and the cultural differences between Spain and the US on TikTok, where her @_anagildersleeve account has more than 215,000 followers
“I think being a parent in the US is much more boring and isolating than it is in Spain,” she said
She explained that she was inspired to share her thoughts on the subject after talking to an American mom who thought she was “depressed” but realized she was “just in the wrong country” after going abroad moved.
Gildersleeve believes part of the problem is the lack of socialization and support in the US, saying that Americans – especially parents – “don’t do anything fun the week after work.”
“Monday through Friday, most Americans don’t hang out with other people. They go right home after work or, if you’re a parent, after your kids’ activities,” she said. “In general, Americans save social events for the weekend. They spend a lot of time at home.
‘Where in Spain are we out all the time – Monday to Friday, Saturday and Sunday. When the kids are done with school, go to the nearest playground to the school and have a chat with other parents.’
Gildersleeve said that many playgrounds in Spain have bars or coffee shops and said: ‘It is very normal to have a glass of wine or a beer with other parents while the children play in the playground’.
“That’s unthinkable in the US,” she noted.
Gildersleeve noted that American parents don’t really interact with other people during the week, saying they tend to come home right after work
“Where in Spain are we out and about all the time – Monday to Friday, Saturday and Sunday,” she told viewers
Another difference she’s noticed is how long it takes to schedule a play date in the US, which has to be done weeks or sometimes even months in advance.
In Spain, she simply called a mother friend and asked to meet their children in a park in 20 minutes.
“I feel like most Americans don’t have a village at all,” she said. ‘Moving across the country is quite normal here, but in Spain most people live close to their families.’
The mother also pointed out that American parents revolve their lives around their children, while the reverse is true in Spain.
“American parents stop what they’re doing — even if they’re having fun — because they have to put their kids to bed at 7 p.m.,” she said. “If you see a kid who’s still awake past 8 p.m., it’s like, ‘You’re a bad mother.'”
Gildersleeve said that many playgrounds in Spain have bars or coffee shops
“It’s quite normal to have a glass of wine or a beer with other parents while the kids play in the playground,” she said of her parenting in Spain.
Another difference she’s noticed is how long it takes to schedule a play date in the US, which has to be done weeks or sometimes even months in advance.
In comparison, Gildersleeve explained that Hispanic parents take their children everywhere and let them fall asleep in their pram.
‘In the US we separate children’s activities [from] adult activities. Parents organize their lives around the children’s schedule,” she told viewers, “but in Spain, children adapt to the adults’ schedule.”
Gildersleeve’s last observation was that women tend to stop hanging out with their girlfriends after having children.
“I feel like women in the US are becoming mothers and not having fun anymore,” she said. Like, yes, your priorities have changed, but one thing is not necessary [place of the] other. You can go to a bar or a club and have a few drinks with your best friends and still be a good mom.”
Gildersleeve’s video has been viewed more than 2.2 million times and has received more than 7,500 comments. Many people, including Americans, agreed with her assessment.
The mother explained that “parents organize their lives around the children’s schedule” in the US, while “children adapt to the adults’ schedule” in Spain
Gildersleeve’s video has been viewed more than 2.2 million times and many people, including Americans, agreed with her assessment
‘I totally agree! I lived in Spain for a year and I loved that we did things during the week! I hate living on weekends,” one person wrote.
“America is generally isolating itself. I have no children and spend most of my time alone. It’s so sad,” shared another.
Another added: ‘I agree with your perspective and I was born/raised in the US. Spain sounds fun for parents!’
A number of people pointed out that Americans are often overworked and stressed, so they tend to live weekends.
‘I think it’s because people in Western Europe don’t have to work overtime like people in the US. A lot of people here are stressed and tired,” one viewer concluded, and Gildersleeve agreed.
“Most people work crazy hours and are drained after work,” she replied. “It’s sad to be honest.”