My best friend screamed at me after my son ruined her wedding – I want her to apologize first

A woman felt humiliated when her best friend, the bride, got angry at the guest’s four-year-old son after he made a mess of the wedding cake on her big day.

Instead of reaching out to make amends, the 29-year-old woman felt that her 28-year-old friend should first apologize for “yelling” at her in front of her son, husband and other wedding guests.

The woman, OP for short, decided to take to the infamous Reddit forum r/AmItheA**hole to gauge whether or not this was a reasonable expectation. She titled her post: ‘AITA you didn’t apologize to my friend after she yelled at me and my kid at her wedding?’

She then provided the “important context” that her friend “spoke to me during the planning of her wedding about her doubts about whether or not she wanted to have children at her wedding.”

The bride also has two sisters with children about the same age as OP’s son. According to OP, the bride also considers him almost her own nephew.

“But she wanted to be able to let loose and enjoy her wedding without worrying about her kids ruining it,” the post read.

‘I told her my opinion and told her that my husband and I allowed children at our wedding and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

The children were still family and deserved to be included.

“After that, and after consulting with her sisters, she and her husband gave permission for children at the wedding,” OP described the decision-making process for allowing children at the wedding.

“The ceremony went off without a hitch. BFF’s nieces sat with me, my husband, and son, while her sisters sat with the bridal party. I brought quiet activities to keep them occupied and everyone behaved. I even cried because of how beautiful it was,” the woman described.

During the reception, the bride’s cousins ​​returned to their parents, while the wife and her husband took care of their own son.

The dinner went well and afterwards the bride and groom took to the dance floor for their first dance.

Afterwards, everyone was welcome to dance on the dance floor before the cake was cut.

“At that point, the kids were running around and playing with each other. It was a pretty safe space and I knew almost everyone there, so I was comfortable with my son playing with the other kids while my husband and I were having a good time dancing,” the woman continued.

Her husband was the designated driver, so the woman had a few glasses of wine, as did the bride.

While they were so busy celebrating the birth, it seemed that the couple had lost sight of their son for a while.

The bride and groom then walked towards the cake, with OP and her husband being blocked by a crowd as they approached.

‘Suddenly I hear BFF SCREAMING son’s name. Hubby and I push forward to see what’s wrong.

‘I see my son with icing around his mouth and on his fingers. A small piece has been taken out of the cake.

‘I try to apologize, but BFF turns around and screams, “This is YOUR FAULT. Your son RUINED my cake. He’s only here because YOU told me it would be worth it to get the kids involved!”

‘I yelled back and told her it was just an accident and that the rest of the cake was still edible. That this was her nephew she was yelling about.

“She told me I wasn’t her friend and he wasn’t her cousin, in front of everyone. She told me to leave or she would call security,” the woman continued.

At that moment both the woman and her son cried and she, her husband and her son left the wedding.

Afterwards, the wife of one of the bride’s sisters was heard to apologize on behalf of the bride, but she also insisted that the guest “must apologize” to the bride.

“I think apologies have been thrown out the window now after her outburst. I told her sister that and said I would expect an apology before I said anything to her.

“She has not only lashed out at me in front of everyone, but also at my son. I feel humiliated and even more angry on his behalf. So, AITA if I refuse to apologize first?” the post concluded.

Reddit quickly agreed that the woman was in the wrong, and dubbed her YTA, short for You’re The A**hole.

The post received thousands of responses, some of which best and most succinctly summed up the broader sentiments expressed in the feedback.

As someone said, “YTA. Your child is very young and needs supervision. No matter how safe the location is, there are many things that are NOT safe (like cake, glasses, etc.) in the location.

‘Not only should you have apologized, you should have apologized right away instead of responding with “The rest of the cake is still edible (because it’s gross. I doubt your child had washed his hands in a while) and “It was an accident.”

“It wasn’t an accident. Your child is young, so it wasn’t malicious, but it certainly wasn’t an accident. You also have to pay at least part of the cost of the cake, because that layer was not edible.”

A second echoed: ‘YTA. Your son taking a big bite out of the wedding cake was not an accident. He did it because he wanted cake and didn’t want to wait. He’s four, but you could have told him not to touch the cake. This could have been avoided if you had supervised him properly.

“You need to apologize to your friend for being so negligent that your son ruined the wedding cake. Parents like you who let their children have their way and then don’t take any real responsibility are the reason so many people don’t want children at these events.”

A third scolded: “YTA. She allowed children based on your assurances that it would be okay to have children at the wedding. It’s especially outrageous when the one person who said children deserved to be there is the one whose child ruined her wedding.

“It’s a big deal. It’s a once in a lifetime event. Hopefully she doesn’t get a second wedding. You’re an asshole for not paying attention to your kids after you spent the wedding babbling about how they should have kids. And doubly so for not apologizing.”

Another added: ‘YTA to a furious degree and I’m sure you know it. Not because you were in favor of children at the wedding but because you didn’t even vaguely know what your son was doing.

“Your son ruined their cake. Your reaction made you a double TA, and your refusal to apologize made you a triple TA. I’m so sorry your son has a parent who is as irresponsible and a bad role model as you.”

And as a fifth put it: ‘YTA – You and your husband failed to raise your child. This was not an accident, this was negligence/incompetence on your part. You are the reason people want childless weddings. Don’t get me wrong, your girlfriend is worthless too, but this was completely preventable by you and your husband.’