Soapwatch with JACI STEPHEN: Send-off fit for a soap legend

By Liam On Dec 9, 2022

ORIENTAL

June Brown’s real-life death in April is mirrored in the show by her character Dot, who made her entrance in 1985.

On the morning of the funeral, Sonia has yet to write her eulogy, but Martin encourages her, telling her to speak from her heart.

As long as he doesn’t encourage her to see the coffin with one of his dreaded trumpet solos, we can rest easy.

June Brown’s real-life death in April is mirrored in Eastenders for her character Dot, who made her entrance in 1985. Sonia (pictured) has yet to pen her eulogy on the morning of the funeral.

It’s good to see Colin (Lord Michael Cashman) again, and we welcome newcomer Reiss Colwell (played by Jonny Freeman), who claims to be Dot’s great-nephew.

Naturally, the day is not without drama, with Lauren taking Linda to task for breaking her father’s heart. Er, wait, Lauren, would that be the father who had an affair with Stacey and broke his wife’s heart?

Linda continues to put on a brave face at Mick’s upcoming nuptials, but still looks like a woman being skinned alive. She tells Mick that if he’s happy, she’s happy for him.

But is he? It’s hard to count. Mick couldn’t look happy without the help of reconstructive jaw surgery; every time Janine pounces on him, he looks like a man in the throes of food poisoning.

It’s good to see Colin (Lord Michael Cashman) again, and viewers welcome newcomer Reiss Colwell (played by Jonny Freeman), who says he’s Dot’s great-nephew (pictured)

THE LAMENT OF THE HIGH

Familiar faces return for Dot’s funeral, including Lofty (Tom Watt). Tom recalls that Dot’s first scene was with Lofty: “So she ended a circle to be there for her at the end too.”

How long until ‘the troph’ comes out that Janine put Linda behind the wheel of that car? My bet is on Christmas Day, right after Mick brandishes the carving knife for the turkey.

Alfie continues to make his presence felt as the panto auditions begin. Please, someone throw him a couple of Valium; Where is Dr. Gupta when you need her?

He wants Kat to play Snow White with her Prince Smarming. Unfortunately, Sharon overrules it and gives the part to Honey, who might be wishing after biting into the poisoned apple that she never wakes up.

Still, there are at least seven other guys to choose from.

CORONATION STREET

There’s trouble for Daniel (pictured) on Coronation Street as he doesn’t step up when Daisy finds a lump in his breast.

Could it be the end for Daniel and Daisy when, after she finds a lump in her breast, he shows up to her doctor’s appointment completely drunk?

Of course, having lost Sinead, Daniel fears history will repeat itself, but just when Daisy needs him to step up, he retreats faster than a lemming at Beachy Head.

Desperate Dan Gets Barlowed

Corrie’s Daniel doesn’t have much luck with women. Or racing. Or families. So seeing a magazine article written by his ex, Bethany, brings out a lot. “In terms of career ambition, it’s a wake-up call,” says Rob Mallard, who plays him. He makes her feel that he has been left behind. And how does Daniel react when Daisy finds a lump in his breast? “It’s his worst nightmare…but a selfish reaction and he does something all Barlows seem to do: they squash him.” I think it’s a term: being Barlowed!

It’s another serious story in the current quagmire of misery. Griff’s gang, Summer’s endless whining, Aaron’s alcoholic father, Nick and Leanne’s financial problems, Hope’s behavioral problems, and now here’s potential cancer in the mix, again.

At the other end of the scale is the caricature of Nigel. Why so absurdly OTT?

You can’t blame the actor; It’s like the show’s crew drew straws to see who could come up with the least believable, absurd, cliché-ridden character (bad luck, whoever drew the straw, but you definitely succeeded in your mission).

With Ken again torn between two lovers, but Wendy has left him, how will he react when Martha suggests he move in with her to Hull? Oh, Martha, NO!

Do you remember the last time? Sail off into the sunset on his barge, not realizing that Ken had jumped ship?

Will Marta have to rethink when Wendy reveals that it wasn’t Ken who broke up with her, but the other way around? Listen, ladies… you know there are men in the world besides Ken Barlow, right?

EMMERDALE: IS PADDY REALLY AS LOVED AS HE SEEMS?

Chas (left) is embarrassed that she almost left her husband Paddy (right) in Emmerdale. But is he as loved as he seems?

When you want to cheat on your partner, don’t do it at the door of your house, in the only hotel around, where you are the only guests. You won’t stick out like a sore thumb, but like a pair of hands that have been through a wringer.

No one in Emmerdale ever learns this lesson, which is why Chas finds herself in trouble when Belle confronts her about being at the Westgrove Hall Hotel the night Faith died. As Bella decides to spill the beans to Moira (a woman as low-key as a band of Scottish pipers at Hogmanay), Chas prepares for her trip with Paddy.

With her husband seemingly in love, Chas is embarrassed to have left him for Al. But is Paddy’s kind front all that it seems?

I should have thrown Chas in contact a long time ago, well, out of the stadium and as far away as Qatar, if I had any sense. This is a woman who not only thinks the grass is greener on the other side, but that she lives in a permanent dream world of AstroTurf paradise.

There is some light relief at Home Farm when Gabby and Dawn go through the nanny requests. There’s a strict, old-fashioned, possible other in Samantha and Nicky, who just happens to be a handsome man.

After Nicky makes an instant connection with Clemmie, Dawn offers him the job. No prizes for guessing where this one goes.