Concerned parents have put an end to sleepovers and are instead letting their children do ‘sleepunders’, picking them up at 2am or even staying the night with them.
Gone are the days of slumber parties with pillow fights, movie marathons and games.
Nowadays, concerned parents worry about the safety of their children at their friends’ houses, prompting them to pick up their children before the sleepover portion of the sleepover, even if it is at 2 or 3 in the morning.
Some parents even have “mommy and me” sleepovers – where the mothers accompany their children to the slumber parties to make sure nothing dangerous is going on.
One mom used TikTok to explain why sleepovers are a no-no for her kids. “How my husband and I handle sleepovers with our six young children is that we don’t do that,” Sharon Johnson said. “My kids don’t have sleepovers.
Concerned parents have put an end to sleepovers and are instead letting their kids do ‘sleepunders’, picking them up at 2am or even staying the night with them
Nowadays, concerned parents worry about the safety of their children at their friends’ houses, prompting them to pick up their children before the sleepover portion of the sleepover, even if it is at 2 or 3 in the morning.
Some parents even have ‘mommy and me’ sleepovers – where the mothers accompany their children to the slumber parties to make sure nothing dangerous is going on
‘Not here. Not at other people’s homes. Not even cousins,” she explained in the video.
“The benefits of sleepovers do not outweigh the risks,” Johnson said.
The TikTok mom went on to explain how the risk of sexual assault and abuse is part of her reasoning for saying “no” to sleepovers.
However, Johnson’s children are allowed to stay “extra late” with a friend for movies and popcorn.
Nearly half of parents in the US describe themselves as “overprotective,” according to Pew research published last year.
There’s more awareness about issues like sexual assault and gun violence, says Christy Keating, a parenting coach in the Seattle area.
Like Johnson, mother of three Qarniz F. Armstrong doesn’t let her children spend a single night away from her.
Her children, aged twelve, fourteen and twenty, are not even allowed to spend the night with other family members.
But Armstrong still wants her children in care to have “normal childhood experiences,” she told the newspaper New York Times.
Instead of regular sleepovers, Armstrong will let her kids go to parties if she can get them home before bed, even if it’s at 2 or 3 in the morning.
The 43-year-old mother from California thinks this is ‘a good compromise’.
But Armstrong’s eldest child, Mecca, disagrees. “I definitely felt left out,” the 20-year-old said.
Mecca recalled how he started losing invitations to sleepovers after he was always the only one picked up early. “I would have felt better if other kids’ parents had done the same,” he said.
Armstrong even has rules for the “lateovers” her children attend, which is another form of the “sleepunder.”
First she calls the parents to ask who is coming, whether the parents have any weapons and what they plan to do during the sleepover.
The protective mother also enters the house at drop-off time and greets everyone there.
One mom used TikTok to explain why sleepovers are a no-no for her kids. “How my husband and I handle sleepovers with our six young children is that we don’t do that,” Sharon Johnson said. ‘My kids don’t have sleepovers’
Instead of sleepovers – parents opt for ‘sleepunders’ or ‘lateovers’ – where their children are allowed to stay with a friend until 2 or 3 a.m., but are picked up before bedtime
‘Sleepunders’ and ‘lateovers’ have become so common that there are companies catering to the parties
‘Sleepunders’ and ‘lateovers’ have become so common that there are companies catering to the parties.
Hill Country dreamers offers a service where they set up slumber party decorations including teepee tents, Taylor Swift pillows, twinkle lights and lanterns.
They even have special themes for the sleepunders – like Christmas, Harry Potter, ‘gamer’, spooky and spa themes.
The Texas-based company describes a sleepunder as a “fake slumber party” – where you do the same “really fun” activities you would do at a normal sleepover, except when it’s time to go to sleep, everyone goes home.
Ms. Michaud doesn’t pick up her children from sleepovers in the early morning hours, but as a concerned parent, she has another way to ensure her children’s safety.
She’s a proponent of what she calls “mommy-and-me sleepovers,” where mothers sleep next to their children to spend the night together in a safe environment.
Michaud said that while her children had a “glowstick dance party” and watched Sing 2, she enjoyed a glass of wine with her fellow mom.
Professor of family psychology Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan worries about the formative experiences children might miss if they don’t have sleepovers.
“Sleepers are a pretty normative part of American children’s culture,” she said, adding that the parties “give kids the opportunity for true independence.”
Schoppe-Sullivan also said from personal experience that sleepovers are a good opportunity for children to experience different lifestyles and customs.
Virginia’s Tara Huck sent internet users into a frenzy after she shared her “unpopular opinions about parenting” on both TikTok and Instagram, prompting comments from other moms.
In a viral video, which has been viewed more than 8,000,000 times on social media, the mother shared that she turns down her children’s request to spend the night at a friend’s house because of the potential threats that could come their way while they to sleep.