My younger sister DIED from sepsis – and my best friend responded by berating me for asking for space to grieve
A woman whose sister has died has been left fuming a pregnant friend made the unimaginable loss all about herself, leaving her worried about the inconvenience she would face if she attended the funeral.
The unnamed woman, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit’s ‘childfree’ thread with a post captioned: ‘My sister died and my pregnant friend made it about herself.’
She went on to explain that her younger sister had died on January 30 at the age of 29 from sepsis caused by a rare form of cancer, and that she was “completely devastated because she was my best friend in the whole world.”
But the woman’s grieving process was disrupted when she was approached by an old family friend named Beth, who happened to be pregnant and also had a three-year-old son Billy.
A woman whose sister has died has been left furious after a pregnant friend suffered the unimaginable loss, leaving her worried about the inconvenience she would face if she attended the funeral (stock image)
The post explained how Beth apparently stopped by for the funeral even though she wasn’t asked to.
“My husband warned me that Beth is going to blow up his phone so she has to talk to me, and he warned me that she would probably call. Since she flew to the funeral, I thought she had something important to say to me, but instead she made my damn blood boil,” the woman seethed.
Instead of offering her condolences, Beth started harassing the woman about hanging out with her while she was in town for the funeral.
‘Hey how are you?’ Beth started.
“That’s a loaded question, but NOT a great one,” the woman replied.
Beth replied, “Oh absolutely yes, I called because I was wondering how long I would be on your ‘banned list’. It’s not fair not to talk to me. Did you get the birthday gift I sent you?’
The woman explained that she had “received so many messages of all my condolences that I just hadn’t gotten around to it,” and repeated, “I’m not doing very well.”
Beth chimed back, “Oh totally, I can agree with that. I have to write so many thank you cards to everyone who came to Billy’s birthday party, and it’s so much work.”
The unnamed woman, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit’s ‘childfree’ thread with a post captioned: ‘My sister died and my pregnant girlfriend made it about herself’
Beth then explained her itinerary and said she would be “flying on Thursday” and would not be making the Friday service, but a second service on Saturday.
‘How are your parents?’ Beth investigated.
The woman replied, “Not great, imagine if it was Billy who died. How do you think you would hold up? My parents asked everyone to respect their space at the funeral because they are grieving and don’t want to talk to anyone.”
Beth responded, “Oh, I would hate for this to be the worst thing in the whole world. But what do you mean I can’t talk to your parents? I want to say hello to them. I’ll fly all the way there for this. Do you have Friday and Monday off?’
The woman emphasized, “I don’t know, they just want to be left alone and they hope people will respect that. Yes, I have Friday and Monday off.’
Beth then brought the conversation back to her own schedule, “I have Monday off and thank God because I have to fly to this funeral and everything. I’ll be so exhausted that I’ll be glad I have Monday off for myself.
“I hate being away from Billy because this weekend is going to be so much work for me,” she added of being temporarily separated from her son.
The grieving sister then promptly ended the conversation.
‘That conversation made me so angry that my teeth started chattering. “I was shaking so bad,” the woman admitted.
Beth then called the woman’s husband to ask “what is wrong with me because (the woman) seemed angry with her throughout the entire conversation.”
“My husband let her know that she could have worded it better.”
But Beth then became “angry” and demanded that the woman “understand that she was pregnant and hormonal that she was going through so much.”
“She asked him if she should even bother coming to this funeral when I don’t even spend time with her and she can’t talk to my parents,” the woman further fumed.
The man then reminded her that “everyone” is invited to come pay their respects, but if she is “busy,” she doesn’t have to.
To make matters worse, the woman recalled calling Beth when her sister was in the throes of her illness – and Beth hanging up on her as she cried because the mother had suffered a miscarriage just two months into her pregnancy.
“She got mad at me because I cried to her because she was going through a lot because she had just had a miscarriage after being two months pregnant, and that destroys someone. Then he hung up.
‘I will never understand the sadness of a miscarriage but I know IT’S NOT THE SAME, my sister who is a real breathing human being, dying is not the same as a two month miscarriage but I’m not trying to win any medals for a or other pity contest,” the woman pointed out.
Other Reddit users quickly posted comments in support of the woman, also expressing shock and disgust and Beth’s self-centeredness
The poster also stated that Beth had “lectured” her and her husband in the past about not having children, reasoning that they would be “such great parents.”
“She makes it all about how the world only matters when you’re a mother,” the woman added about Beth.
‘I never asked her to come and I really want to tell her that if she sees this as a burden, she shouldn’t bother showing up. But I just don’t have the damn energy to do that.
“This is why I asked everyone to leave me alone because I knew I would have such a dirty conversation.
‘Of course my damn pregnant girlfriend had to make it all about herself and I’m so damn furious. I’m going to cut so many people out of my life after this is all over,” the woman promised.
Other Reddit users quickly posted comments in support of the woman, also expressing their shock, disgust, and Beth’s self-centeredness.
One shared an anecdote from after their father’s death, also involving a pregnant girlfriend, but a much more supportive one.
‘When my father died a few years ago, one of my best friends was pregnant. In fact, she even had an exam earlier in the day of the wake.
“Did she tell me this while I was in the hospital with him? No. She waited until she saw fit after he died to tell me, and I was happy for her.
‘That’s a friend. I don’t know what you have, but it’s not a friend; Oh, is it so tiring to fly away? Get out of here, and then don’t do it if you’re going to complain.
A second agreed: ‘I’m sorry for your loss. Beth is terrible. It’s not about hormones, that’s a personality.’
“Ask your husband to intervene on the day of the funeral, but I will say it. If she corners you, let go, man. She’s a snake, she doesn’t deserve any attention. Be loud, say how unkind and self-centered she is and has been, and don’t let up. Hopefully then she won’t try to be an asshole,” the audience concluded.
Another put it bluntly: “Cut that son of a bitch off. That’s not a friend. She wants brownie points for the things a friend would do (fly to the funeral), but has no idea how to actually BE a friend.”
And another echoed: ‘I’m sorry for your loss. Beth is terrible. It’s not about hormones, that’s a personality.’