I’m single and pregnant – I’m giving my baby my ex-husband’s last name even though he’s NOT the father

A pregnant woman has revealed she plans to give the baby her ex-husband’s surname even though he is not the father.

The 29-year-old woman from the US took to Reddit’s Relationship Advice thread to unravel the details of the drama.

She explained how she got pregnant by her ex-fiance – despite him having a vasectomy – before the relationship crumbled.

Nevertheless, the unnamed mother said she wanted to continue with the pregnancy, but wanted to give the new child her ex-husband’s last name instead, especially since they already share a child.

The post, uploaded earlier this week, was captioned: “How weird would it be if I gave a new solo baby my ex-husband’s last name?”

The woman candidly said: ‘My now ex-fiance got me pregnant and blocked me from everything. He had a vasectomy and my IUD was removed. We continued and I became pregnant.

‘He tried to force me to have an abortion in recent days, but when I refused, he blocked me. Tidy and tidy.

“I don’t know the quality of his vasectomy. I only know what he told me.’

She continued defiantly, “I’m going to continue with the pregnancy alone. I am divorced, have a child from a previous marriage and I have kept my ex-husband’s last name.

“Our child had that name, so I just didn’t change it. Now, there’s a new baby on the way, but the last name isn’t originally mine?

‘Obviously the father won’t be involved. Would it be weird if I gave the baby another man’s last name? I don’t really want to go back to my maiden name because my father wasn’t involved either.

“Ages ago, I asked my ex-husband if I could have a baby alone and give him his name, and he said it was fine. I said it as a kind of joke, but now it seems like a cruel irony. I don’t know how he would feel now. Thoughts? I also don’t know what my ex’s future husbands or girlfriends would think about it.’

The irritated woman concluded: “I have no problem taking care of the child, and I’m already emotionally attached.”

In the comments, she elaborated further, saying that she and her ex-husband were married for six years, adding: “I would definitely let my ex-husband run it, just out of courtesy.

“Besides, I haven’t left my ex-husband. He cheated on me with a woman while he was deployed. They decided they wanted to be together and that was that.

‘He now has several children, all from different mothers. Believe it or not, I tried very hard with both of my partners, as they are the only two I’ve ever had. It’s not a story where I’m a hobo and running through the streets.

‘It’s my name now too. I didn’t just pick it out and say, “looks good.” I have had this name for over 10 years and it is on all my college degrees, licenses, etc.

“It’s not ‘out of spite.’ That’s legally my name. I didn’t expect the man I thought would marry me to walk away. We were together for years. I did not expect that.’

She continued, “My main reason was that I wanted the same last name as my daughter. I think it’s a bit weird too, but I was trying to weigh up how weird it could be.

‘How shall I explain it to the future child? I’ll say, ‘Your father couldn’t take responsibility, so I did it alone. Your name is the same, me and your sister, and we love you so much.

“I’m sorry your father couldn’t see how wonderful you are.” Or something. Will it be perfect? I doubt it.

“My ex-fiance specifically said he didn’t want it to have his last name. He got extra cruel before blocking me. It was rough.

“If he came along and decided to become a father (or even be involved), I would be more than willing to change the child’s name to his last name.”

And the post was quickly flooded with comments as many tried to reassure her that it would be fine to give the child her ex-husband’s surname as it is still hers too.

One person wrote: ‘It’s your last name. You never changed it back to your maiden name, so it’s essentially your last name, meaning the baby would have the same last name as you. Just don’t put your ex-husband on the birth certificate, lol.’

A second person commented: ‘This. Legally it is your last name. For any government agency, this is your last name.

‘So free yourself from at least one worry. You don’t give your baby your ex-husband’s last name, you give that baby your last name.’

Another added: ‘It’s still your last name too so if it’s not your current last name what would you use? Certainly not the guy who ran away and blocked you. Actually, it seems logical to me to use your current surname.’

Someone else wrote: ‘Personally I think it would be a bit weird – not gonna lie. But it’s your last name now, so do whatever you want. I don’t see anything wrong with it.’

A fifth person commented: ‘It’s not ‘someone else’s name’ – it’s YOUR last name. You were given the same ownership of that surname when you changed your name, as everyone else born with that surname.

“If you’re likely to want to keep that last name (even if you were to remarry), I say you should use it. This is how you share a surname with your child. End of story.’

One person added: ‘It’s still legally your last name so it seems reasonable. You can warn your ex-husband if you want, and if he gets weird about it, remind him that it’s yours, and also your other child’s last name (plus you don’t want the baby’s last name giving a man that name). has stated that he will not be involved).’

‘I have the same last name as my mother and my sisters – my mother’s ex-husband’s last name. I have a different father than my sisters. It was never weird and it made it easier for my mom,” someone else wrote.

On the other hand, however, other Reddit users did not agree to use the last name that she still shares with her ex-husband.

One person wrote: ‘I gave my middle son my married last name (NOT my husband’s biological child) instead of my girl because I wanted him to fit in with me and my eldest. My son wishes I hadn’t done this.’

Another person commented: ‘Don’t do it. This is why. It will confuse everyone, including the baby. You will answer the same question for the rest of your life. It can affect your ex’s reputation.

“People may assume he’s a good-for-nothing/prefers the first child. The baby may also make the connection and believe that your ex is his father and become confused/hurt about not treating him the same as his older sibling. It’s ultimately your decision. I just don’t think it’s worth it.’

A third person advised: ‘It’s weird. Very strange. Unless he agrees. Talk to him again in real time so you get a clear answer.

“Future girlfriends should not be taken into consideration in my opinion. It’s not their decision because they’re not there right now. Talk to him and see what he says. He should have a say since it’s originally his last name.”