Sh*tney, Brissy and Melbs: Cheeky maps poke fun at Australia’s biggest cities

A cheeky mapmaker has set the internet ablaze with a series of maps poking fun at the residents of some of Australia’s largest cities.

Melburnians will be more than familiar with some of Topher Agar’s coiled gold sightings, which mark the suburb of Frankston; Freakston, Franghole, Shankston, Frankghanistan, Frankenstein, Funky Town and Frangas.

Across the bay, to the west of Melbourne, St Albans passes through Stab Albans, Snorbans, St Balkans, Stab Organs, St Albania and Stablands.

Frankston Beach (pictured) known as Freakston, Franghole, Shankston, Frankghanistan, Frankenstein, Funky Town and Frangas

Sydney – also known as ‘Sydders’ – has also been extensively analyzed by the mischievous cartographer, who refers to Sydney as ‘Sh*tney’.

Bleed (Glib), Spewtown (Newtown) and Balpain (Balmain) fly around the capital, while further south Campbelltown controls C-Town, Prambeltown, Camp Belltown, Scrambletown, Shambletown and Cambodia.

Brissy (Brisbane) has also undergone the Agar treatment, capitalized under the names Bristanbul, Bris Vegas, San FranBrisco, Brisbekistan, Brisneyland, Brisbang and Briso.

Greenslopes, just south of Brisbekistan, becomes Greenslops, Groanslops, Green Acres and ‘The Slops’.

Ippy (Ipswich) is also known as Ipsh*t, Dipswich, The Switch, Sh*tswich and Pisswich.

Adelaide – or Radelaide – and Perth, which has been branded P-Troit, have also received the Ager treatment and more are in the works.

Sydney has been renamed ‘Sh*tney’ on map adopting community vote to name suburbs

Sydney aka ‘Shitney’ is surrounded by colorful suburbs such as Blond Dye and Bronte Carlo

Agar – who actually lives in New Zealand – told Daily Mail Australia his cards had been in the making for years.

‘It’s an ongoing project that I started a few years ago; the names are taken from locals in various SNSs and forums like Reddit (for Melbourne, for example, I also have a full list of sources),’ he said.

“The ongoing part of it also means that – partly due to the ever-evolving nature of jargon – I update the maps regularly to try and make them as current and complete as possible.”

Agar said nicknames were only used by certain “in-groups,” which could be made up by anything from sports fans, college students, “boomers,” rappers, or truckers.

“Who may be completely unaware of the language of the others,” he said.

Agar started building the maps, which have gone semi-viral in recent weeks, when he noticed there was no such thing, despite the common name of some of the names.

‘I studied linguistics and am a bit of a language and map nerd, so it all made sense. And is super fun for me,” he said.

Brisbane is surrounded by colorful suburbs such as Poopers Stains and Mount No-Money

Underwood (pictured), south of Brisbane, has become ‘Under Hood’ on the map

Agar admitted to having some favorites among the hundreds of names, including Cemetery Gates for Sanctuary Lakes in Melbourne’s west.

“I also just enjoy the natural evolution of sound in examples like Yarra becomes Yazza, Werribee – Wezza, Cranbourne – Cranny, or the overly ridiculous abstractions like Yazza Vazza (Yarra Valley) or Mooza B (Mongrelbark!),” he said.

Agar said he plans to make similar maps for major cities around the world.

‘I now have all major Australian cities as good as complete, but am still updating. And I’m actually doing the whole world — it’s kind of gotten out of hand,” he said.

“I also have maps of countries and major metropolitan areas for every continent on the go.

From Accra in Ghana to Miami to Milan… please help me, I can’t stop.’

Mr. Agar’s work is available here with full versions also found on shittownsofaustralia’s Facebook and Substack sites.

Perth, also known as Dullsville, has been recreated by Topher Agar

Adelaide, or Radelaide, has a suburb known as ‘A**ehole Park’