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Tamica Wild has revealed how she lived under one roof with her husband, their children and her boyfriend
A sex therapist has revealed how she lived under the same roof with her husband, their two children and her boyfriend in a very unconventional family unit.
Tamica Wild was living in Melbourne with Harry*, her 11-year-old partner, when she met Rob* at a Byron Bay music festival in 2018.
The 37-year-old mother of two, who was always clear about her non-monogamous relationship style, immediately told her husband about the new man.
“I came home to my children’s father and I told him all about this person I had met. And I’d said, “I’m not willing to stop seeing this person. There’s something about us, and it’s a thread I want to follow,” she said.
Speaking on the parent child podcast Tamica explained that she and Rob, also a sex therapist, started a long-distance relationship before being gradually introduced into the family home.
“I think we actually hung out with the kids once or twice, and then the two dads went out alone, and then we’d be all five and we got in gradually,” she explained. .
Rob then moved to Melbourne and moved into the family home.
The living situation meant that the adults had to constantly look at each other to make sure they weren’t crossing anyone’s boundaries and that their needs were being met.
“At the beginning of our relationship, I remember saying to Harry, ‘Yes, I want to be with you, and it won’t be just you.’
Tamica, left, was living with her life partner and the father of her children Harry, center, when she met Rob, right, at a music festival. Rob then moved to the parental home
Tamica met Rob, a fellow sexologist, at a music festival and knew she had to investigate their connection as soon as he got home to her family
“And so we threw ourselves into a whole world where we didn’t quite understand what that meant at the time, and it really seemed like the more freedom and agility we gave each other, the closer we got,” she explained.
Despite being polyamorous since the beginning of her relationship with Harry, life with one of her partners was new.
Tamica explained that some days she would be in awe of their great dynamics, saying that her kids loved having two father figures.
Other days they looked at each other and admitted, as in any relationship, that it was not easy.
Tamica would continue to date and sleep with people outside of her two primary relationships, and constantly “flattened out” so she could be there for her loved ones.
But something didn’t work.
So after the lockdown, Tamica, her kids and Rob moved to Byron Bay.
Although Harry no longer lives with the family, he is still there “all the time.”
“We are all very good friends, my friend and the boys’ father, they hang out and go for a walk and give each other hugs.”
Tamica says her relationships haven’t changed, but the configuration has.
Tamica moved to Byron, where Rob is from, after the Melbourne lockdown but says Harry is ‘always there’ and the relationships she has with both men remain solid – the configuration just changed
“There’s no crescendo – there’s not a moment when it was like, ‘this is the icing on the cake.’ I just knew I wanted to keep living in my relational values, so it was like if something difficult came up, I either navigated there or I quit these kinds of relationships,” she said.
“There were times when the family and the relationship and the intimacy and the friendship and the flow and the connection and the conversation within the family unit were much more important and prioritized over other times or other people or other things.”
Tamica sets herself up as a sexologist ‘for mothers’ and helps them find what gives them pleasure.