Sex three times a week can help to beat stress, experts say 

Some people light a candle or take a bubble bath when everything gets too much.

But according to a relationship expert, having sex with your partner three times a week may be the best stress-reducing technique.

When people are overwhelmed with work, faced with endless to-do lists and feel downhearted by life, their sex life often dwindles.

But counselor Tracey Sainsbury says that instead of stopping sex because they feel stressed, people should have a lot more of it.

She points to the “daily dose” of happiness hormones advised for people’s well-being, including serotonin, dopamine and the “cuddle hormone” oxytocin.

Sex can deliver these, both through the intimacy and skin-to-skin contact and through the act itself.

Ms Sainsbury advised people to use sex to ‘de-stress’ at the London Fertility Show, for couples struggling to conceive or doing IVF.

But she said it’s good advice for anyone dealing with stress in their life, and it may work better than mindfulness.

The couples therapist told the Mail: “There’s a little infographic called a dose a day that talks about boosting your dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and positive endorphins because they’re your happy hormones, but they’re also your toughness and resilience hormones if you feel stressed.

“You can stimulate them all with sex, and people should just make it part of their routine.”

“Honestly, it doesn’t have to be nice, romantic lovemaking. It could be a quickie downstairs on the couch or in the kitchen. It doesn’t have to be in bed at night.

“It can happen if both of you work from home, during the lunch hour. Just be playful and fun – it can help with stress to rediscover that side of yourself.

“Mindfulness is another stress management technique, but I’m not sure it’s always as helpful as feeling held and safe.”

The average British couple has sex just once a week, research shows.

It may come last on the list after work, socializing, cooking, housework and life management.

Tracey Sainsbury says: ‘Get naked together, for skin-to-skin contact, whether you’re in bed or watching television’ [Stock photo]

But according to Sainsbury, sex should be a priority. She told the Fertility Show, held at London’s Olympia, “Use intercourse to reduce stress, enhance positive endorphins.”

She added, “Get naked together, for skin-to-skin contact, whether you’re in bed or watching television.”

In the context of couples struggling to conceive a baby, who total about one in seven couples, the expert warns that couples will ironically have less sex as they try to start a family.

Men feel the pressure to perform, women may feel like they’re failing because previous attempts at sex didn’t get them pregnant, and those doing IVF may find it so difficult emotionally that they’re not really in the mood for passion.

But it’s important to make sex part of a weekly routine, Sainsbury said, rather than relying on apps that tell a woman when she’s ovulating and then only have sex during that short time frame.

The expert, who has over 20 years’ experience of providing couples therapy to infertile couples, including with the Fertility Network UK charity, said: ‘Sex is a way of feeling safe. It’s just as much about intimacy as it is about intercourse.

“We may think we don’t have enough time when we’re stressed or trying to conceive, but sex is very important indeed.”