I hear the panicked clapping of Vox Media’s lawyers as they type a formal email reminding me that I, Christopher Thomas Plante, am not a doctor and am not authorized to provide medical or hospital safety advice on Polygon.com. But they (and you) don’t have to worry. The guidance is unquestionable.
Do not put metal in an MRI machine.
If you need a rather extreme reminder as to why, play Selacothe exceptional indie first-person shooter (currently in Steam Early Access) that uses the tactics of FEARthe aesthetics of early id games like Fate And Earthquakeand especially to contemporary medical guidance, the immersive simulation of System shock 2.
So why not put metal in an MRI machine, and how does this again relate to a game about killing sci-fi monsters with heavy weapons?
Image: Altered Orbit Studios
If you have been unlucky enough to undergo an MRI, you already know that you must inform the doctor about any metal implants and that you must remove any metal piercings. You may even know why doctors make this request. MRI stands for ‘magnetic resonance imaging’. By Yale Medicine: “Instead of using radiation, as X-rays do, the MRI machine uses magnetic fields and radio waves to generate images.”
But like me, you may have wondered as you lay on the cold, loud, human serving tray of an MRI machine, what exactly would happen if you put metal in this monstrosity?
Selaco challenged me to find out.
In the first hours of the FPS, I found a working MRI machine tucked away in the back corner of a science lab. By working I mean I was able to enter the observation room next to the machine, press a button and process an MRI. Selaco borrows elements from the immersive sim genre: I was able to pick up most of the items in the room. Like a fool, I tested the machine with a soft, cotton-stuffed teddy bear to see what would happen.
Nothing. Evidently.
I left the room, destroyed some bad guys, and momentarily forgot about the giant medical device. But then I noticed something on a table next to an abandoned piece of cake: a can of soda. a metal soda can. Inspiration struck as if I had been touched by the gods – or perhaps by the devils. I grabbed the can, guzzled the soda, carried the waste to the MRI room, and threw the crumpled can into the MRI machine. I went into the adjoining room and pressed the button.
TREE!
The MRI machine exploded, leaving a gaping hole in the wall where the back of the machine was located. Behind the hole I found a secret room with a bunch of goodies, which rewarded me for my eagerness to break a cardinal rule of hospital protocol.
Is this what would happen in real life? No!
When undergoing an MRI, metal can distort the image or, in the worst case, cause damage to the person or the machine. Because magnets! But the metal won’t cause a room-destroying explosion that reveals a secret path to personal life upgrades.
Still, I’m grateful for it ConsolationIt’s a little puzzle that allows me to fulfill one of my dumbest fantasies and scares me into taking the doctors seriously when they say, “No, you absolutely cannot bring your smartphone into the MRI machine!”
As for you, dear reader (and the lawyers at Vox Media), I realize now, as we reach the end, that this story is not medical advice at all. It’s gaming advice. To give Selaco an attempt! Don’t be fooled by the old-fashioned aesthetic; this game rewards thinking about first-person shooters in new and inventive ways – and breaking the rules in the fearless pursuit of a good time.