SAUCY SECRETS: I love my boyfriend but he always wants a sex act in the bedroom that gives me the ick. He says it’s a dealbreaker if I don’t do it. Please help!

Dear Jana,

I just started dating a guy and so far I have no complaints in the bedroom except for one thing. I hate giving blowjobs – and he keeps asking for them. I’ve told him I like to try different things but I never will.

I have a very sensitive gag reflex and it gives me the creeps. Now he keeps hinting that it’s a deal breaker for him. I’m afraid he’s going to break up with me. What should I do?

Chantel.

Dear Chantelle,

Oh girl. Let me put it bluntly. If I met the love of my life and he told me I would never receive the gift of his tongue on my lower belly, I would cry.

Honestly, I would stamp my foot and cry.

You see, the act of oral is something very special. For a moment in time, you put your own wants and needs aside to please someone else. You make them the center of attention. It tells your person without words that their sexual satisfaction is important to you, and that you want to please them.

And let’s face it, the sound of someone moaning in pleasure at something you’ve done for them is hot, hot, hot. It honestly turns me on just as much as it turns my partner on when I go below the belt.

So grab that banana and work on those gag reflexes, because no one should have to miss out on the pleasures of a little mouth action. No one.

Dear Jana,

I make more than my partner. We’re talking over $100k more. And I know this sounds bad, but as a woman who makes more than a man, I’m starting to get turned off by him.

I pay for our vacations, most of our meals, and I even buy him designer clothes to wear when I know we’re going out with my girlfriends. I don’t want him to look poor.

I’ve always been driven, but he seems perfectly content to just cruise through life. I love him, he makes me laugh, and he’s really attractive, but is that enough? I worry about the future. Will I have to pay for school fees if we have kids? Or buy our house.

It just seems a little unfair. How do I help him find his drive to do better (earn)?

Anonymously.

Dear Anonymous,

If we really peel back the layers here, the truth is a little grim. It sounds to me like you want a sexy, funny guy to show off as your partner – but your values ​​don’t match up at all.

Oh girl. Let me put it bluntly. If I met the love of my life and he told me I would never receive the gift of his tongue on my lower belly, I would cry, writes Jana Hocking (above)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a man with drive and prospects, I do. But that is not the man you have come to expect. And sure he can make you laugh, but guess what…so can a man with money.

Don’t get me wrong, financial differences don’t have to be the determining factor for a relationship’s success – I have a friend who is a fierce and amazing businesswoman and her husband is a low-income professional who spends more time in the ocean surfing than he does in a work place. It works for them because she loves coming home to a man who lets her chill and he loves being married to someone who is doing well in the business world. Perfect couple.

But if you are embarrassed by your husband’s poor work ethic and income, that resentment will build over time. And it’s already obvious. I would sit him down for one of those big adult conversations that we all dread but are necessary. Communicate your concerns and then do the hardest thing of all…listen to his perspective, too.

Give yourself a good pep talk, grieve the mammary glands and then get over it. Your wife is classy and I applaud her for her decision to put her health first, writes Jana Hocking (above)

It is difficult but crucial to approach these conversations with empathy, respect, and a genuine desire to work together toward a shared future that aligns with both of your values. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to cast the net a little wider.

Dear Jana,

I met my girlfriend when she was a DD-cup breasted woman with a tight figure. It’s been three years and she wants to get her breast implants removed because she says they give her back pain. That means she’ll go down to an A-cup. I’ve always been a boob guy and I love having a girl on my arm that other men find attractive. Is it okay if I offer a compromise?

Maybe offer to pay for her to get a C cup? Or is that bad? I don’t want my partner to be part of the itty bitty titty committee.

Sam.

Oh simple Sam,

How about paying her chiropractor bills instead? Seriously, try strapping two rockmelons to your chest for a day and see if you like it. As the owner of a pair of decent (natural) C-cup breasts, I can tell you that stuffing those things into a bra every day sucks.

Give yourself a good pep talk, grieve the mammary glands and then get over it. Your wife is a class act and I applaud her for her decision to put her health first.

Now, maybe we’ll focus on the size of your dick. I’m sure she thinks about that enough…