Dear Jana,
If my boss and I have had a hard day at work, we sometimes go to the sauna together. Nothing kinky, just chatting while sweating completely naked. It gets me pretty excited and I can tell he does too… but we’re just being casual. Is it weird?
Sara
Dear Sarah,
First of all, I would like to compliment you on your use of the word ‘casual’. What a fantastically pompous word. Here’s to using it more in everyday sentences.
That aside, let’s be honest. You want to fuck your boss. Ah, it’s a story as old as time. But as someone who has fucked their boss in the past, believe me when I say: DON’T DO IT! And stop putting yourself in a very sexy situation with him. You know exactly what you’re doing girlfriend.
Because it’s going to happen. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time. Stress from a hard day’s work + sweat + nakedness + a moment of weakness = pounding.
But what I’ve taken away from my own experience is that it just makes for an overall uncomfortable experience in the long run. If the shag is good, you’ll want to do it again and you’ll spend your work hours lusting after it. If it’s bad, you try to avoid him like the plague, which can be very difficult in a work environment.
I give you props for finding a unique way to bond after a tough day, but would this look good in an HR meeting? No. No, that wouldn’t be the case! I can also guarantee that your colleagues are gossiping about it. I would be.
As for whether it’s weird or not, let’s just say it’s definitely… unconventional office therapy. Don’t forget that there’s nothing wrong with a beer/wine in the pub, or an old-fashioned game of squash to let off some steam.
Anything that involves taking off your gear in front of your boss is not a good idea. But you already knew that, you insolent devil.
Jana Hocking shares her best Saucy Secrets and her signature sassy advice
Dear Jana,
I’ve been sleeping with my sister-in-law on and off for twenty years. When I’m in town for work, I stay with them, and we make it happen. The risk is worth it because the sex is so good, but am I playing with fire? It would destroy the family.
Anonymously
Oh anonymous,
If I had a dollar for every time someone tries to excuse their dodgy behavior with “but the sex is so good,” I’d be a millionaire by now. Girlfriends tell me why they hooked up with the loser ex, or a married man, or a player.
Pffft…don’t people realize that you can have great sex with people who are emotionally and morally available? There isn’t just one ridiculously good sex fish in the sea!
It’s clear you’re playing with fire. That’s a no-brainer. The real question is, do you want to be secretly caught so it all comes out in the open? Maybe you have deeper feelings for your sassy sister-in-law and are unknowingly putting yourself in a position to get caught. Or here’s a thought: maybe she is?
Don’t get me wrong, I get the thrill of doing something naughty, especially with a forbidden romance (it’s like an R-rated Romeo and Juliet), but you’re dancing dangerously close to family drama infernos.
Have you always been competitive with your brother? Is it a matter of payback period? Instead of continuing with cheap fucking, maybe dig a little deeper and try to figure out the reason why you’re hooking up with your sister-in-law.
Maybe it’s time to consider some less flammable hobbies? Do you like to get a girlfriend and enjoy some nude time in the great outdoors? Or a brutal caress in a cinema?
At the end of the day, you’re a dick, and so is she.
Explore your horizons outside of your brother’s marriage so that we don’t see you in the news if your brother finds out. Because this will NOT end well if you keep this up.
Jana Hocking’s advice to Sarah: ‘Anything that involves taking off your gear in front of your boss is not a good idea. But you already knew that, didn’t you, you impudent devil’
Dabout Jana,
I keep finding inappropriate messages that my husband shares with other women he meets for tea. We have a great sex life and I don’t understand why he feels the need to flirt with these women. It will ruin me financially if I leave him. I’m also in my 50s and don’t want to join the dating pool anymore. It sounds terrible. STAFF!
Anonymously
Dear anonymous,
I can tell you exactly why your husband is sharing inappropriate messages with other women. It’s because he has a metaphorical ‘small penis’ and is desperate for constant validation.
I’d venture to guess that these “innocent cuppas” started happening around the time his hair started to recede, or turn a bit gray, or his balls started to fall into “saggy” territory. Ah yes, he feels insecure and wants to know that other women outside his marriage still find him attractive. It’s all very superficial and ridiculous, but I see it all the time.
One look at my Instagram DMs will show you a lot of men with “happy marriage” photos in their profiles trying to get my attention. It is pathetic.
I’m sorry now, but I’m going to give you a tap on the wrist too. Because if there’s one thing Judge Judy has taught us all, it’s to keep your own personal finances in order.
In a viral TikTok, she clearly states, “When a woman gives up financial independence to a partner, it’s over. And you have to be prepared. Because if you’re not prepared, you’re stuck.” What I see is precisely your predicament.
A close relative of mine had a small private bank account when she started noticing some warning signs in her marriage. So when it came time to break down the ship, she had enough in the bank to get out quickly. And she did.
Jana Hocking tells Aussies the brutal truth about their relationship problems
My advice to you would be to get up tomorrow morning, get in your car, drive to the bank and open your own account. Slowly put some of your own hard-earned money into that and whether you end up needing it or not, at least you’ll have peace of mind knowing you have a plan B up your sleeve.
As for dating in your 50s. Who said you have to? Julia Morris has told everyone how happy she is being single in her 50s. Supermodel Linda Evangelista also chimed in, saying: “Not interested. I don’t want to sleep with anyone anymore. I don’t want to hear anyone breathing.’
Just because a relationship has ended doesn’t mean you have to start a new one right away. Imagine if you took the time to figure out what you want instead. You have your whole life to work together again.
But who knows, maybe you just need to have a tough talk with your ratbag husband and set some firm boundaries around these ‘cuppas’.
Stand up for yourself, girlfriend, and remind him where his bread is buttered. Maybe throw him a bottle of Rogaine while you’re at it.