Dear Jana,
I am not ‘gifted’ with a large penis. I would say I am a small to average size. Do women care?
Oh Tim,
I’m going to say something that may come as a shock, so prepare yourself. Women don’t like big penises. In fact, we fear them. You see, they take breathing exercises, endurance and lots of TLC to prepare for. And then I haven’t even mentioned the aftercare. Not fun.
We women really only care about one thing: ‘the movement in the ocean’. Yes, it’s what you do with it that matters, not the actual size.
To get the most out of your toddler, you want to approach him from the right angles. May I suggest doggie style? This handy move uses the entire length of your shaft. Or maybe sitting in a chair with her on top. Not only does this position feel really good for your girlfriend, but it also requires less “in/out” action and more wiggling.
And if all else fails, may I suggest you get particularly good with your tongue. Sex is not just one body part. It takes multiple skills to give a woman an orgasm.
Why not spend some regular time on foreplay? Dirty talk, caressing, caressing, teasing – she’ll be so turned on it won’t matter how big it is. Honestly.
Jana Hocking shares her best Saucy Secrets and her signature sassy advice
I want to date a celebrity. It’s on my bucket list before I’m in my late twenties. How do I get their attention?
Sara, Sara, Sara. I can’t stress this enough… It’s overrated. There I said it.
As someone who has briefly swum in this wading pool, I would recommend taking another look at this bucket list item. You’ll have to deal with big egos, lots of competitors and an attention span that’s the equivalent of Dory from Finding Nemo. Short.
Why? Because they have plenty of options.
But if you’re still not deterred, then it’s quite simple. Gets hot. Slide into their DMs. And just shoot.
In the meantime, maybe wonder why you feel like you need a celebrity to make you feel special. Is something missing in your own life? There are plenty of ways to get that wonderful serotonin rush. And thirsting for someone you put on a pedestal is probably not the best way to achieve that.
Don’t get me wrong, if Brad Pitt walked in and said ‘get naked’, let’s face it, I’m getting naked. But we can’t spend time chasing it. That’s just scary.
I have trouble lasting long ‘in the bedroom’. Do you have any tips to give my girlfriend an enjoyable sleepless night?
Dear John,
You’re giving me flashbacks to a previous lover in my twenties. He also struggled in this department, and all I can say is that it’s actually quite flattering to a girl’s ego.
It makes us think we need to be absolute firecrackers in the bedroom – and please don’t tell us otherwise.
But yeah, I can imagine it being quite frustrating. So let me start by giving you a tip of what NOT to do. My ex used to shout “Grandmas, grandmas, grandmas” to keep him from reaching climax. And yes, hurray, it stops any kind of ‘expansion’, but I can’t tell you how unpleasant it was for me. Sure, it helped him last the distance, but I lost any libido in the process.
Jana Hocking shares advice on what to do if you want to get your sex life back on track
No one should think about grandmas while making wild, passionate love. Unless that’s your thing. In that case no judgement.
But if you have to think of something unpleasant to get your old guy to last the distance, maybe just say it in your head, not out loud.
So now the solution. From personal experience in this department (it happens more than you might think John!) what you really want to do is keep the pace slow and steady. You don’t want to charge like a bull at the gate. You want to be comfortable with it. Be the turtle John. Not the hare.
You’ll also want to switch positions a few times. If you’re stuck in one position and the mind is getting carried away, maybe add a plot twist and change positions. This short pause will help you center. Take you back to earth.
And here’s a somewhat controversial but very successful tip: consider condoms as an option. I mean, you probably should already be if she’s not on any other form of birth control, but they also have a neat way of desensitizing your cock somewhat. Which means you can last longer.
All is not lost John, you just have to slow it down.