SAUCY SECRETS: I am 26 and have a huge crush on my live-in landlord – he’s 50, and super hot. Should I make a move?

Dear Jana,

I am a 26 year old female on a working holiday visa from Ireland. I have just moved to New South Wales I live in Southern Highlands for work and rent a room from a local guy who is 50. He is a real DILF, I absolutely love him.

He is a widower from nine years ago, and has no children. Should I go there? Is it wrong to have sex with my new landlord?

Anonymously

Oh Irish, go for that handsome guy. If there is no other option, you can always move out and live somewhere else. The price of breaking your rental deposit is a risk I am willing to take.

I mean, let’s go through the checklist. Single? Check. Sexy? Check. Homeowner? Check. You’ve hit the trifecta.

I mean, sure, being roommates can be a little awkward, but I find it’s kind of a rite of passage to sleep with at least one roommate in your 20s. I’ve tried it, and okay, it got a little awkward when I decided I liked his friend better.

But you know what, it made for a very entertaining story that I still tell at dinner parties. So go for it.

Jana!

I have been seeing a therapist for about two years. We are the same age and we are both single. I really want to ask her out. I also get subtle flirts from her.

I am seriously considering firing my shot. Please tell me if this is a good idea or not? Should I stop seeing her?

Willem

Oh Willem.

It’s a very simple answer. No. No, you absolutely should not do that. For several reasons. First of all, it’s against the therapist’s code of ethics.

Yes, those codes can be pretty frustrating, but they’re there for a reason. Do a quick Google search for what happens when a therapist dates a client, and you’ll see a string of disastrous lawsuits.

Note: They are wonderful to read on a lonely evening.

And secondly, you may be confusing her empathy with attraction. You’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘Finally a woman who gives me her full attention and makes me feel valued.’

I can see why it’s quite attractive. But what you see as flirting could be a simple friendly smile.

I mean, I fell madly in love with my therapist during our second session when she said in her lovely French accent, “Your husband sounds like a bit of a hot mess.” Seriously!

But did I really want to laugh at her? No! Because she was just showing empathy.

If I were you, I would tell her that you are attracted to her and give her some tools to control that thirst. Because let’s face it, therapists would hear these kinds of confessions all the time.

And if it all becomes too much, consider seeing a male therapist in the future.

Dear Jana,

My wife and I want to spice up our love life with some public sex. We don’t want to get caught, but we want it to feel a little risqué and naughty. Where would you recommend we try it?

Seb

Oh Saucy Seb, I love this for you!

Okay, let’s get down to business. You want to get hot and heavy, but you don’t want to end up in jail… or worse… embarrassed by a sneaky phone camera that could end up on social media.

So you have to be stealth in your mission. I believe in you, so here are my recommendations…

First of all, you want to dress appropriately. This is a quick thing to do, so you don’t want to mess around with unbuttoning belts and buttoning up shirts. Make sure your partner is wearing a skirt or dress and you’re wearing pants that you can throw down.

Now, the location. Here are a few tried and true recommended spots:

– The cinema – designed more for a cheeky caress than the whole shebang. Just make sure you sit in the back and that there are at least two empty aisles between you and any other people in the cinema. I’d recommend a quiet afternoon showing. Oh, and bring tissues.

– The backyard – Just make sure there is enough greenery and no two-story neighbors. We want an orgasm, not an unwilling social media debut.

– A private beach – you can find these secluded beaches (maybe a nudist beach) pretty easily with a quick Google search. Just make sure you’re tucked behind a dune and there’s no one around. One disclaimer, bring a blanket. You don’t want to find sand in your nether regions. Trust me.

– The car – there is something very go go voom about parking in a quiet street or alley and taking a chance. Be warned that many cars and parking lots now have built-in cameras. So make sure you are parked well out of sight and preferably in the back seat, away from the horn.

Now go ahead and have some fun, sexy villains.