SARAH VINE: My son called me from Croatia at 2:33 a.m. – unleashing every mother’s holiday nightmare

After I finished my A-levels, I wanted to go camping in Portugal with three friends. My father, however, was terrified at the idea of ​​his daughter going off alone in the Algarve wilderness. It gave him the heebie jeebies.

Luckily my mom talked him around and it was one of the best vacations I’ve ever had, an experience I’ll never forget.

The Portuguese were friendly and welcoming, the campsites clean and cheap, the food great, the beaches magical.

The whole journey cost less than a few hundred pounds and I returned happy, tanned and ready (or as ready as we’d ever be) for the next step in life’s great adventure, university.

Four decades later, that post-A-level summer vacation remains a rite of passage for many teens. Groups leave for Greece, Spain or Portugal, and more recently Croatia, to let off steam after months of study and hard work.

But for many, the experience is not so much a celebration of their newfound freedom as a rude awakening to the harsh realities of a corrupt and predatory tourism industry that sees young Britons abroad not only as legitimate targets for scammers and fraudsters, but also appearing to actively despise their presence. There are endless reports of holidaymakers being attacked, scammed or treated horribly by the authorities.

In Barcelona, ​​criminals spit at tourists as a distraction while pickpocketing. There are fake bookings, bracelet scams (where peddlers trick you into letting them tie a bracelet around your wrist and then charge an absurd amount), porter scams, stories of people being charged for extra teaspoons and plates, or for sandwiches to cut in half.

But there is worse – much worse.

A week ago, a Briton in Cyprus was allegedly beaten to death by bouncers, with one jumping on his head. Last month, a 21-year-old died after trying to break up an argument in Ibiza. Reports of violence are on the rise, with gangs targeting young, naive holidaymakers as easy prey.

Which brings me to last Wednesday, when I was awakened by a persistent buzz from my phone.

With blurry eyes, I picked up my glasses and saw the time: 2:33. Who could call at this ungodly hour?

After I finally unlocked the phone (my Face ID never recognizes my morning face, probably because I look more like a crumpled paper bag than a human), the full horror became apparent.

It was my son, on vacation in Croatia. He was in an Uber and returning to the flat he shared with friends, but the driver demanded an extra €60, which he didn’t have as a teenager on a budget. When my son refused, the driver yelled at him in Croatian, locked the doors and drove past my son’s flat to another part of town.

Meanwhile stuck in a car with an angry Croat demanding money with threats, my terrified son called me for help.

Needless to say I was beside myself. After several frantic conversations (the phone signal kept dropping, which didn’t help my blood pressure), I transferred some money to his account (thank goodness for internet banking) so he could withdraw it from an ATM and hand over the money in exchange for coming home.

My son was shaken, but safe. Neither of us could wait for him to come home.

He later explained that the entire vacation was marred by similar occurrences. Everywhere the threat of violence was never far away.

One night, a girl was separated from their group and cornered outside a club by three men who ordered her to hand over her money and phone, or else. If she tried to call for help, they said she would be stabbed. Or worse.

Talking to children of friends, such incidents seem to be the norm. Drinks are enriched. Sexual attacks. All a far cry from the mild summer in Portugal I experienced all those years ago.

As more cheap holidays become available, people need to consider the risks. Hot new destinations like Albania might seem appealing, with budget hotels, long sandy beaches and cheap restaurants (the average price of a beer is just £1.69). But let’s not forget that Albania’s main export is organized crime.

It’s a shame because traveling and discovering other cultures are among the most enriching experiences anyone, especially a young person, can undertake. But unfortunately times have changed.

Thinking back to my father’s attitude when I was young, I now have every reason to be concerned about the prospect of my own child going on holiday alone for the first time.

And to any young person planning that post-exam trip or gap year abroad, I say this: stay sober, stay together – and above all, stay risk-wise. Otherwise, you could find yourself – quite literally – being taken for a really nasty ride.

Face the facts Linda

Flawless on the cover of Vogue, Linda Evangelista, rightfully so, says, “I don’t mind — and never did — mind getting older.” Um, could that be because like other wealthy female stars – Madonna for example – she doesn’t seem to have aged much? Evangelista, 58, had a famously catastrophic fat reduction treatment and has admitted to using Botox. I don’t mind people undergoing anti-aging treatment, but Evangelista and her ilk should stop kidding themselves that looking the way they are is somehow natural.

I will never understand why many trans women want to claim their period as their own.

If they were real women, they would know that menstruation is a nuisance at best, something that causes suffering at worst.

That’s why it was so irritating to see a stunt like the one at last month’s Norwich Pride, when a non-binary performer by the delightful name of Mx Slaybia appeared to be menstruating through white trousers before throwing tampons into the crowd and holding a placard that read “Moonblood has no gender.”

Menstruation is a bodily function, not an excuse for vulgar performance art.

Try the talk cure, doc

Dr. Robert Laurenson, the trainee doctors’ strike leader, asks why the government is unwilling to negotiate a settlement, but says in the same breath that he will not agree to a similar settlement reached by his Scottish colleagues as he does not want to deal with an ‘ideological’ Conservative administration.

Does he want to negotiate or not? Or is this not about pay but about Dr. Laurenson’s own political ambitions? Considering he’s comfortably off with a £500,000 mortgage-free flat, as well as being a director of his family business (which owns £2m worth of investments), one can’t help but think it’s the latter.

I love announcer Vanessa Feltz’s zest for life – but if she’s really hoping to find love after splitting up with a partner after 17 years, the answer won’t be by appearing on Celebs Go Dating with a Love Islander and someone from Made In Chelsea. Vanessa should give them all a wide berth and get a dog. Much more reliable than most men, generally much better conversationalists and, for the most part, better table manners.

We are in the throes of a bedbug epidemic, says Rentokil. The reason is people’s love for second-hand furniture, in which the blood-sucking bugs hide. Sure, Airbnbs are also to blame. A friend got a plague after a weekend in Cornwall. Damn things were harder to remove than nits.

Let a woman do it

Imagine the criticism if the military hosted an event to discuss the “living experience” of soldiers of minority ethnic backgrounds on the front lines and invited as an expert witness the testimony of a Caucasian white soldier.

So it’s not surprising that some wonder why Petty Officer Class 2 Deborah Penny, right, the Army’s first serving trans soldier, sat on a panel to debate the experiences of women in the military.

No doubt Officer Penny has an exemplary record of 40 years, having joined as a man and held positions that excluded women.

But since her experience as a woman in the military is limited, her role on the panel would be better represented by a biological woman.

How is it that seven police officers take an autistic child into custody, seemingly because it gave one of them little more than a little lip, but hordes of wild teens can run amok in places like London’s Oxford Street and barely tap the knuckles to get ?