Well, that explains it. Now we know why we haven’t seen much of the Duchess of Sussex lately. She’s obviously had a little makeover. Have some time for myself. Invest in some self-care, as young people say.
Gone is the messy bun and fresh, just-off-the-yoga-mat Meghan.
In her place stands a shiny, razor-sharp duchess, all primed and polished as if she’d been dipped in double cream, rolled in cashmere, and infused with 24-karat fabulousness.
She channels Kim Kardashian, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Michelle Obama.
Sexy but strong, independent, confident, uncompromising. As my daughter would say, she came to kill.
Now we know why we haven’t seen much of the Duchess of Sussex lately. She’s obviously had a little makeover
Princess Diana had her ‘revenge dress’: this is a revenge makeover. Meghan is back – and she’s not going anywhere for a while. I’m sure it wasn’t a coincidence that she chose to resurface so close to the coronation. She’s not coming – but she might as well.
Meghan is many things, but she’s not stupid. She knows the power of a photo and the reach of social media. She can do as much damage to her in-laws from her garden swing in Montecito as from a chair in Westminster Abbey. Maybe more.
It is, of course, a nightmare for the palace. Especially since more will inevitably follow.
In addition to the new look, we’ve had bonus footage of the Duke and Duchess fooling around at a basketball game, “unaware” (yes, right) caught on a “kiss cam.”
The message is loud and clear: While you all get ready to dress up in moth-eaten old robes and perform a mysterious ritual, here we are in the land of the free being, all cool, spontaneous and modern.
No doubt they’ll cook something special for the big day itself, which also happens to be Archie’s fourth birthday. A cute scene perhaps of Meghan and the kids in California as Harry zooms back into dusty old London as he prepares to do his duty to King and Father. There will be no dry eyes on Twitter.
I can’t help but welcome this new Meghan, though.
Well, maybe not to welcome her, exactly, but her emergence feels like a kind of relief.
Meghan and Harry have been trying to build themselves up by taking down the rest of the royal family. It’s a toxic kind of success
I feel like we’re finally starting to see the real Duchess, that this laser-focused power player could be more authentic than the persona we Brits were presented with when Prince Harry first introduced her to the world. From the start, I felt like she was just playing the role of the carefree American breathing fresh air in a musty old institution. There was something artificial about all that spontaneity, like she was trying to be what she thought we wanted her to be, rather than being herself.
Meghan’s slick, new look is more indicative of the person she really is: a highly ambitious woman who knows what she wants and is determined to get it, and who doesn’t like being in the shadows.
Ambition is admirable – but not at the expense of others. Meghan and Harry have been trying to build themselves up by taking down the rest of the royal family. It’s a toxic kind of success.
Let’s face it, Meghan would never bear to be second fiddle to the Princess of Wales, or anyone else. Maybe she didn’t think it through – or maybe she thought she could rewire the old place from the inside out.
When it became clear that that was not possible, it was suddenly no longer sunshine and rainbows.
The mask fell off and we saw the truth.
Bud trans row brews
Mulvaney, who identifies as female, announced a partnership with Bud Light on April 1
Bud Light sales have plummeted since the company signed an awakening partnership with trans TikTok star Dylan Mulvaney, with rival beer brands sharing the same amount.
This has inevitably been interpreted as “transphobia” – but it isn’t, at least to me.
The problem with Mulvaney is that the version of womanhood she represents is so clichéd as to be offensive.
All she ever seems to do is teeter in pointy shoes and scream with excitement when she comes within 20 steps of a lipstick.
Being a woman is more than handbags and headbands.
Why I’m dog tired
As part of my efforts to prevent decay, I have started a new regimen. It involves walking the recommended 10,000 steps a day — about five miles. Boy, is it exhausting: the other day my son found me in bed at 8:30pm.
However, the one who really suffers is poor Muffin, my Lhasa Apso. She’s more of a couch dog, you see, and is a bit on the short side.
She’d always been thrilled at the sight of the leash, but now she sinks back into her pillows and looks at me anxiously as if to say, “Really?” Can’t we just go around the block like we used to?’ Crazy English women and dogs, huh?
It’s not just the outrageous VAT on luxury goods that deters tourists from coming to the UK. The price of everything else – from food to taxis – is also outrageous.
Recently in Italy I was chatting with the lady who runs my parent’s local restaurant. She enjoys traveling with her grandchildren and visited London just before Christmas. It practically bankrupted her and she said it was virtually impossible to get anywhere thanks to Sadiq Khan’s brilliant anti-traffic plans.
Next year she will take them to Antigua: cheaper, and it doesn’t rain all the time.
This column likes to pride itself on tackling the tough questions.
That’s why I have to object to new research suggesting Britain’s most slinky biscuit. . . the Jaffa cake.
For starters, it’s not even a cookie: the clue is in the name.
Plus it’s covered in chocolate, and what the hell likes chocolate in their tea?
Speaking of tea, why all the fuss about discontinuing Twinings’ Lapsang Souchong blend? It’s the last resort tea bag, the equivalent of the orange cream at the bottom of the Quality Street can. Send it to the compost bin of history!
So Diane Abbott sent her ill-fated letter to the Observer twice from her private email address – seemingly lying to her claim that it was “just a draft.” I suspect the truth is that she’s so blind to identity politics, she didn’t think what she said was offensive. It’s a classic case of “unconscious bias” – and proof that it’s not just white people who get these things wrong.
Labor Policy No. 327 for Idiot Virtue Signaling: Boys are taught respect for women and girls as part of the national curriculum.
First, the surefire way to get young people to do the opposite of what you want them to do is to make it part of a PSHE lesson.
Second, if you really want to end the abuse of women and girls, there is a quick fix: block access to hardcore porn online.
Do that, Sir Keir, and you’ll even get my vote.
Joe Biden has announced that he is running for a second term as US president. Serious? The man can’t tell the difference between the All Blacks and the Black and Tans. Do we really want his shriveled old finger on the nuclear button?
Poor Ed Sheeran, back in court over plagiarism allegations. He is accused of borrowing the melody from Marvin Gaye’s 1973 Motown classic Let’s Get It On.
Given that all music is derivative these days, it seems unfair – again, I suppose having pockets as deep as his will attract opportunists.
Maybe he should take over the Diane Abbott defense: as a redhead, he might be able to claim discrimination. It’s worth one point.
Poor Ed Sheeran, back in court over plagiarism allegations. He is accused of borrowing the tune from Marvin Gaye’s 1973 Motown classic, Let’s Get It On
Mattel has launched the very first Barbie doll with Down syndrome. I’m not sure what I think about this. On the one hand, the two girls with Down that I know – one of whom was in my daughter’s class at school – would have been very happy, I think.
On the other hand, this rebranding of Barbie as inclusive and empowering (the Barbie movie also comes out in July) fits awkwardly with the history of a doll that, more than any other, defies stereotypes of slender, white blondes with perky breasts and pointed toes. . I have yet to be convinced.